Hello internet! Potatoes are sexy.
I’m here to put the french fries in your happily meal, and I won’t forget to put the toy in the box.
This is a joke excuse to get silly.
I once gave my ex a hummer. He asked, “Is that the national anthem?”
I told him, “If you don’t cum, the terrorists win.” And returned to my work.
On a more modern one; this requires a bit of backstory.
If you’re familiar with bad dragon, they sell sex toys one might use if they have… specific? Tastes. My current boyfriend and I have mutually interesting tastes. He got a toy known as a wearable. It’s purpose is to put your dick in, then use it to screw your partner, and they have fantasy or fetishistic shapes. My boyfriend surprised me with one at Christmas, that would’ve fulfilled that fantasy, and despite buying the largest size, he is unable to wear it.
He and I were eating lunch at Sam’s Club. I was making several innuendos about how his cock is bigger than the hotdog. He was being intentionally obtuse. This week, on Wednesday, while he’s at work, I’m going to buy one of those hotdogs, put it inside the sex toy, and send him a picture (to prove that it can fit where he cannot). I’m going to caption it something funny (if you have any ideas please let me know) and since we had this conversation over a week ago, he’s going to be taken entirely by surprise, and laugh about it forever.
Damnit, not sure I remember any specifics anymore, but I’ve had sooooo many good laughs over the years while fooling around. I think very few situations benefit from being Taken Very Seriously, and I’m always up for a little giggle – something like cancer is serious, fucking absolutely shouldn’t be 😁
Actually now that I think about it, a partner once stuck a big peacock feather between my butt cheeks (no, not in me) during an… err… sex intermission because she thought my butt looked nice but could use a little decoration. That was hilarious; since we were taking a break from the hanky panky we were both nude, and I was prancing around with that thing in my butt doing my best peacock act (which I can assure you is surprisingly good.) Eventually we composed ourselves and got on with the fucking 😁
Also a few cases where I did or said something funny (this is a load-bearing sense of humor) and had someone start laughing into my pussy while eating me 😅 A) it feels super weird but actually kinda good, B) but it’s so hilarious in itself that the whole thing turns into a gigglefest
OMG! Pics or it didn’t happen you legend. 😎
About the best surprise I ever got was when I had an auto body shop behind my house. I only worked for used car dealerships and typically had a dozen cars moving through the shop at any given point.
I was mostly working by myself. One day, the owner of one of the dealers I worked for came by to drop off and pick up a car himself mostly to check up and pay me for the month. We were standing between my house and the shop on the driveway with me facing the house and him facing the shop. My girlfriend at the time opened the back door quietly from inside the house. There was a screen door still closed. This guy was basically my biggest boss. My gf then starts stripping naked slowly taking off her tee shirt, blue jeans, bra, then panties, and I mean SLOWLY, like she wanted to get caught. She topped it off by playing with herself for a minute before motioning for me to follow her as she walked back to the bedroom confidently. Fortunately my boss never turned around. He didn’t act different at any point like he had seen her, but I was so stressed he would turn around, read my reaction, or that any of the car mirrors were aligned between him and that door.
I never fucked a peacock, but I think you just made an entry on a list or something. Much love for sharing.
Proper power move from your then-gf, that – she clearly wasn’t taking any hostages 😂
I never fucked a peacock, but I think you just made an entry on a list or something. Much love for sharing.
I urge you to reconsider your life choices, there’s still time. But lol, you’re welcome. Weird little peek into the life and times of @demonologic, and not even all that weird by my standards 😅
After the first oral I gave to my partner, I complimented her, that her pussy tastes like a delicious salty meat. She was quite confused how to react to that :D And after some time together, we started to get crazy from the smell of the other one, so I drooled to her, that she smells like a tasty salty sauce. I think that destroyed her a bit xD
