The number of examples I have seen of people being told to shut up about their lived experiences with sexual abuse in the past 24 hours on this platform is deeply disturbing.
I am calling on y’all to take a deep breath and listen to women for once. There is a time and place for tone policing and it’s never the very minute a woman speaks up.
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I haven’t once seen that on this platform, you and I must travel very different communities.
haapy for you man
Do you have any examples?
see my comment history i have called out a few. do not harrass or brigade.
That links back to this thread for me
yeah i put all the external links in one comment here in case the mods need to nuke me due to brigading. you can also scroll to my reply to KoboldCoterie@pawb.social
The comments you linked to are now removed, I think. It might be useful to have archive.org or archive.is archive them next time.
I found the recent incel-ish responses on various Lemmy communities to the bear meme to be off-putting. Granted, it’s much worse on Reddit but I would have expected better on this platform.
Yeah, I’ve seen ignorant takes about that on tumblr too, from accounts I thought knew better. Genuinely disappointing to see.
i guess i wasn’t online when this bear meme happened? what was it about?
I don’t have a particular Lemmy link, but here’s a general overview from knowyourmeme.
here you go :)
Hypothetical question posed to women: would you rather be alone in the woods with a bear or a man? Many women said “bear”. Many men took that personally.
What a stupid thing to spend energy getting upset about. I’m a bigger than average dude and I’d pick the bear as well; humans are capable of all kinds of villainy, bears are just bears. I’d like to find the statistics on women attacked by bears in the woods compared to women attacked by men, it has to be overwhelming more common to be attacked by a man.
I agree with you completely; I’m surprised that people are upset as well, but there are plenty of people in this thread who feel that the question unreasonably attacks men and is deliberately inflammatory.
Thank you for the link. It seems rather surprising by how many woman apparently chooses the bear option. I understand their reasoning but I thought it would be 60/40 favoring the bear.
According to the CDC, 1 in 3 women in the US have been victims of sexual harassment or assault. And honestly, given how underreported those sorts of stats are, it’s probably higher.
Another hypothetical question was posed to women a while ago: if all the men on the planet got whisked away (not killed, just sent to an awesome men-only vacation planet or something) for 48 hours, what would you do?
The answers were overwhelmingly things like ‘go for a walk at night’, ‘take a jog with my earbuds in’, ‘go to the gym’…
Well that sounds sadly realistic, but honestly the 1 in 4 attempted or completed rape is miles away more shocking. I’m so out of touch with reality damn.
Hey, at least you’re listening and giving it serious thought. That’s better than some people.
precisely! to date lemmy had been the most progressive and respectable toward human dignity community i have followed, but that facade has dropped pretty quickly with this turn :(
I hope this doesn’t sound aggressive, but unless you’re a man, you never had to venture very far on Lemmy to experience misogyny. If you ever mentioned you were a woman in any of the major instances and communities in any context except “I’m a woman and here’s what I don’t like about other women,” you were gonna get misogynistic replies and a shocking amount of downvotes. It’s just what happens when any internet community is dominated by a single gender I guess.
Lemmy’s always been great about almost every other social issue, except sometimes trans issues and neurodivergence if you stepped out of the communities for it, but women’s issues have always been an absolute train wreck around here.This definitely aligns with my experience and understanding as well. Thank you for sharing :)
Even as a man I noticed pretty quickly that Lemmy can be weird about women, maybe as an extension of many nerd spaces still being like that. I really hope we get or federate some communities with a different gender balance, I guess beehaw and blahaj already try to be.
Do I you have post or comment examples?
I just did some searches that were filtered to the past 24 hours, and I’m only really seeing positively upvoted stuff about priests who were arrested.
Not disputing what you’ve seen, but I’ve been looking at all and have not seen anything like that. Where are you seeing it?
Same. I don’t know what this is in reference too. Maybe it’s a lemmy.cafe thing? I don’t see this shit on my instance.
Of course Jesus is gonna say that.
The Jesus just wants some context.
Of course it happened in a blahaj-less meme page 😞
shoutout to blahaj and the absolute queens who run it 💆♀️🙂↕️
lol my comment doubting this was removed what a fucking joke. I rail on religion and Catholic Church all the time here. This is just dumb congrats
Can you maybe provide some links to examples? I haven’t seen any of this.
i wont link directly, but see my comment history i call out a few
—disclaimer do not harrass or brigade—
Ohhhh this is why my posts finally came out of the negatives.
Thank you!
Trolls gonna troll. And one of the links listed had the troll comment removed.
absolutely incorrect unfortunately. the comment you see as removed was a woman who deleted their entire account. “trolls gonna troll” is enabling language, just like “locker room talk,” careful.
If you’re going to dismiss all evidence as trolling then like… what are you doing asking for evidence? You’re enabling people by covering for them.
The meme itself is very… exploitable to the Angry Jacks of the world because of this pattern they exibit. They will bend themselves in knots and side with rapeists in an attempt to resolve their emotional outbursts.
Doubt
You’re referring to the conversation under this comment?
Everyone’s safety is more important than anyone’s feelings.
yes, and others
And you disagree with the sentiment of that comment? Sorry, I’m trying to figure this out.
Men (especially young boys) being raped is a also a huge problem, but are you saying they shouldn’t be lumped together? Or that expressing one without the other is fine since they are sufficiently distinct?
Hi, I’m going to chime in here as a male survivor of SA.
They are distinct in that the problem is far more pervasive toward women than men. If I may recommend some reading about this, the book “Everyday Sexism” by Laura Bates explores this very thing and was a big eye opener for me regarding what women experience just by existing in society as women.
This in no way diminishes the experience and trauma of people like myself, but this is a greater societal issue that disproportionately affects women. That’s what we’re talking about here.
Similar to how anyone can experience discrimination, but we need to talk about the specific groups and larger systemic issues lest we lapse into the “all lives matter” way of thinking.
@LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.blahaj.zone has it correct. I do not disagree with the sentiment of that comment at it’s face value but the comment and the discussion that follow constitute men talking over women expressing their lived experiences.
As a community and a society, there is certainly room for tone policing and discussing how best to express the terms of our oppression. But that discussion should never be forced in at the very moment a person or group has found the courage to speak their own stories, which is what happened there.
The Sam Altman jock riders on this platform are insufferable…
The number of comments here that seek to immediately discount what you are saying is deeply troubling.
Yes! In several aspects, I appreciate the progressive nature of the community here. However, the predominantly male composition of the community is a significant drawback. There is a noticeable lack of maningful exposure to even basic feminist theory compared to Marxist, environmental, racial, or other left-leaning theories. It is my hope that we, as a community, can acknowledge this deficiency and make efforts to address it, as recent events have shown that the status quo is doing nothing but harm.
A lot of people seem to think things like sexism are a personal failing or deliberate act as opposed to a systemic issue that affects us all.
you_are_not_immune_to_propaganda.jpg
Lemmy has been very good in my experience with recognizing this truth when it comes to systemic racism. I guess I thought it would translate more easily to gender as well but clearly I was quite mistaken.
I’m really glad I haven’t seen any posts like that here on Lemmy but that sounds really awful. :/
And I completely agree with your thought and intention but I still have to nitpick about:
There is a time and place for tone policing and it’s _never_ the very minute a woman speaks up.
Of course it’s not never. Just like with men, women are not infallible and can do shit.
I know you’re (hopefully) not literally meaning it like that, but I thought it’s still noteworthy.thanks for your kind words! and you are correct; i am using strong language there that should not be applied literally, though i do stand by the sentiment.
to be more precise, “There is a time and place for tone policing and incredible care should be taken that it is not done to silence or speak over any person’s expression of lived experience, so as not to discourage people who have found the courage to speak up.”
I haven’t seen a post silencing sa on lemmy and I m pretty glad that I haven’t.
Maybe because they were already silenced?
I have no idea what this post is even referring to, though. This have something to do with the bear thing? That shit started cropping up all over my feed, then this. Explain to an out of touch aging fucker what’s going on here, will ya youngin? There’s a hay penny in it for ya
Basically an overgeneralized meme representing the very true and valid fear women have towards strange men, where if they were stuck in a forest and had to choose to be stuck there with a strange man or a strange bear, many women would choose to be stuck with a bear, started cropping up on lemmy. Unfortunately this meme ALSO hit on the lived experience that a lot of men have had where they’ve grown up their entire lives feeling like they’ve been villainized and made to be the source of all societies ills, and so they voiced, with varying levels (and lack of) nuance why this meme upset them as it felt like a further villainization. This caused more friction than nuanced discussion, and more memes that more directly antagonized those who didnt appreciate the meme started cropping up, and now we are here
TBH this really wasn’t the kind of discourse I was expecting in 196 of all places, especially since there are Tumblr posts on this sub preemptively calling out this kinda stuff for being terf talking points
After seeing what you’re talking about, I’m glad I mostly stick to Blahaj Zone.
💙🦈💙
I wanna know why nobody is standing up for the bears. Just because some bears attack people in the woods doesn’t mean they all will.
Most bears aren’t aggressive and wouldn’t actually attack anybody unless provoked. I mean, I get it. Maybe only 10% of bears would get agro for no reason. But how am I supposed to know if this one is one of those 10%?
We need to have a discussion about how the good bears are becoming disenfranchised by being lumped in with a very small minority of bears that would go out of their way to harm you for no reason. #NotAllBears
edit: a typo
