I like the presentation of the video, very level headed and measured discussion.

TL;DR: 1. The video misses that the Barbie movie criticises the patriarchy/hierarchal structures both before AND after the Ken takeover 2. Fight your own fights against the patriarchy, not other people’s fights. Fighting other people’s fights undermines their agency. 3. Support the fights that others choose for themselves against the patriarchy/hierarchal structures. We each win when we all win

I have a hard time with any discussion of patriarchy and the Barbie movie that fails to mention that the movie criticizes the patriarchy/hierarchal structures from two points, both before AND after Ken brings patriarchy back to Barbie Land. The before “patriarchy” does a great job showing the hierarchy of Barbies, the fact that Kens are allowed limited power in the barbiearchy but they’re always second class citizens, the fact that the most shunned person in Barbie Land is a Barbie that doesn’t conform, showing that hierarchal structures place non-conformists LOWER than other second class citizens.

Barbie’s existential crisis doesn’t start because the mom has bad self image, it starts when the projection of that self image prevents Barbie from conforming to the social norms. It’s NOT OKAY for a Barbie to look, feel, and behave in a non-conforming way.

I won’t add to the critique of patriarchy during the Ken mojodojocasa house portion of the movie because the video does great work.

Second, I also disagree with his solution that men should fight women’s battles for them because men have the power. Men don’t dismantle the patriarchy when they stand up for women, they REPRODUCE IT! The idea that women simply can’t get what they want without men IS the patriarchy and flies in the face of all major feminist movements where women FOUGHT the patriarchy and WON on their own rights. Men dismantle the patriarchy when we fight for our OWN rights and against our own disenfranchisement caused by the patriarchy rights like:

• The right to express emotions other than anger
• The right to wear clothing that reflects our inner selves
• The right to work in “feminine” fields without compromising our “masculinity”
• the right to share intimacy with men without having our sexuality called into question
• Freeing masculinity from it’s current rigid, limiting, toxic definition

Where men, women and various intersections of marginalised groups help eachother is by supporting eachother’s fights, not by fighting on other people’s behalf.

A simplistic example is you’re at a party and you see a man hitting on a woman. Perhaps you think he’s being obnoxious. Telling him to stop takes away the woman’s agency. You DON’T know what she wants. Maybe she likes the guy but he drank a bit more than he should have before having the courage to act on her signals. It’s when SHE says no, or is clearly uncomfortable that you support her and step in. Currently in society a woman in more likely to be visibly uncomfortable than say no outright, partially because she doesn’t trust that people around her will support her. Changing that means everyone feels safe being their true selves because they know they will have support against hateful, abusive, oppressive, or non-consentual behaviors that are currently accepted and rewarded by the patriarchy.

The other part is to chastise people who reinforce the patriarchy. A man who says women can’t be engineers, or that a male nurse is a fg, or a woman who calls her boyfriend a pssy for being vulnerable are all reinforcing the patriarchy in harmful ways. Same with a boss who says that he’s looking for a South East Asian nanny because they are the best nannies, or he needs a gay friend for his wife so she gets off his back. The patriarchy marginalises many minority groups so it’s important to see it in all its aspects. Letting these people know that what they’re doing sucks helps set the social contract and free everyone from oppressive hierarchal structures.