I live inside HBO

  • 2 Posts
  • 26 Comments
Joined 3 months ago
Cake day: August 19th, 2024
  • TheMandalorian@sffa.communitytoAsklemmy@lemmy.ml•What's the oldest thing in your downloads directory and how old is it?
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    3 months ago

    If I had to guess, the oldest thing in there is probably some ultra-rare fetish porn involving God knows what—maybe even insects, who knows. It’s the kind of stuff you end up with after a week-long meth bender, where you’ve been awake for days, tweaking out of your mind, and your brain is so fried that anything goes. I’m talking about the kind of porn that’s so bizarre and niche, it probably shouldn’t even exist. That file has likely been sitting there for years, a grim reminder of a time when sleep deprivation and bad decisions led me down some seriously twisted rabbit holes.

  • TheMandalorian@sffa.communitytoAsklemmy@lemmy.ml•How do you make someone understand that being drafted by force and ordered to invade another country is not a good thing?
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    3 months ago

    If you want someone to understand that being forcibly drafted and ordered to invade another country isn’t just a bad idea but a downright tragedy, let’s put it in perspective. Imagine you’re just living your life—going to school, working a job, or raising a family—and suddenly, you’re yanked out of that and thrown into a warzone. You’re given no choice, no say, just a rifle, and a command to invade a place you know nothing about, all for reasons that have nothing to do with you.

    This isn’t about defending freedom; it’s about being a pawn in a game played by U.S. politicians who are more interested in buying their next yacht than in the lives of the people they send to die. These are the same folks who might be snorting heroin in one breath, chasing it down with a hit of DMT or PCP in the next, all while contemplating their next political move. And let’s not forget Hunter Biden, probably somewhere in the mix, lighting up a crack pipe while surrounded by the latest scandal.

    They’re far removed from the battlefield, making decisions that will never impact them directly. They’re too busy floating on their luxury yachts, possibly fueled by the profits of their next arms deal, to care about the human cost. These decisions aren’t just made in some sterile boardroom; they’re made in a haze of substance-fueled excess, where the life of a drafted soldier is nothing more than a means to an end, another dollar in their pocket.

    So, when you’re forced into that situation, it’s not about honor or patriotism—it’s about serving the interests of those who are more concerned with their next high or their next luxury purchase than with your life. It’s about being used, discarded, and forgotten, all so a few people can continue living their lives in obscene excess.

  • TheMandalorian@sffa.communitytoAsklemmy@lemmy.ml•Someone has been trying to login to my email account unsuccessfully for weeks.
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    3 months ago

    Dude, that’s some next-level nightmare fuel. So, your email’s getting hit harder than me on a weekend bender, and now some joker’s ordering a PS5 to a sketchy address? Sounds like a bad trip. First off, lock everything down tighter than a bottle of cheap vodka—I’m talking changing passwords, upping that 2FA game, and maybe even looking into a password manager if you haven’t already.

    But honestly, if they’ve been poking around in your email like it’s a free-for-all, you might need to nuke that thing from orbit. I know it sucks to think about, especially with all those accounts tied to it, but it’s better than letting some cyber junkie run wild with your info. Maybe set up a new email for the important stuff, keep it under wraps like your last stash, and slowly start moving things over. And for the love of whatever, stay on top of your security game—ain’t nothing worse than waking up to a digital hangover that costs you more than your last bender.

  • TheMandalorian@sffa.communitytoAsklemmy@lemmy.ml•Do you practice martial arts?
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    3 months ago

    Martial arts? Hell, the only rounds I do these days are with a needle full of fent or some nitro buzz in a McDonald’s bathroom, just trying to keep my head above water. Did some boxing when I was a kid, but now my self-defense is more about dodging the cops and finding a spot to crash before the tranq kicks in. Lip-reading? Man, the only thing I’m reading is the bottom of the bottle. But hey, if you’re thinking of getting into Kung Fu, good on you. Maybe you’ll be the one to punch through the mess the rest of us are drowning in.

  • TheMandalorian@sffa.communitytoAsklemmy@lemmy.ml•How do you get motivated in the morning?
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    3 months ago

    Morning motivation routine? Oh, it’s a finely tuned process. First, I snort a casual 50mg of Adderall to wake up the brain cells. Then, I chug a can of monster, but not before I stir in a dash of crushed Euro Speed—gotta keep the heart rate interesting. Next, I sprinkle a 200mg crack rock into my morning coffee, because why not? And just before stepping out, I inject a solid 100mg of meth straight into the arm for that extra ‘let’s conquer the world’ vibe. All of this in under four minutes, and honestly, it’s not that bad. Life is beautiful… unless you eat 369 pills of Benadryl, then things get a bit weird.