I personally am in a phenomenally stable polyamorous relationship. I’ve been married to my wife for 12 years, and she has had the same boyfriend for about half of that time. It’s a really fulfilling arrangement for all of us in various ways. We’re all genuinely happy and satisfied. I’m kind of casually looking for a boyfriend of my own.
But I feel like I only hear negative stories about other poly experiences. It’s always unstable people and situations. It’s always two out of three people happy at most. Surely there are other success stories out there, and I just hear the disasters because they’re more memorable and fun to tell. Does anyone else have or know a polyamory success story?
EDIT: This blew up a little while I was asleep. I promise I’m at least reading every comment.
EDIT 2.0: ngl I did not expect the trope of polyamory to fix a struggling relationship would be so real. We did just the opposite and are both baffled. Don’t use volitility to fight the volitility.
I have 2 serious partners and I couldn’t be happier! These are the healthiest and most fulfilling relationships I’ve ever had. I love the freedom and autonomy that polyamory affords all of us. Since realizing I’m polyamorous, things have really fallen into place. It just feels right for me.
I recently attended a polyamorous wedding where one pair of individuals in the polycule were formalizing their individual bond/commitment to each other (but both still remaining in the larger structure of the 5-6 person polyromantic/polyamorous constellation.) It was cute! All the other members of the group walked the bride and groom down the aisle and gave cute best-man-style speeches instead of a religious ceremony.
I enjoyed the event and they all seemed really happy.
I can’t help but think that this sort of mutual celebration would solve a variety of problems that humans experience.
“I love this person, and I commit not only to them, but to those important to them.”
That makes a great deal of sense to me
My wife and I have been poly for going on a decade now and my girlfriend has been part of the equation since damn near the beginning.
My wife, girlfriend & I all jointly own our home together and things have been great!
I (male, cis-het) don’t date outside the two of them (I don’t have that kind of time!) … both of the ladies have other partners though, mostly with the goal of them being long term, but like most relationships (poly or mono) they generally fizzle out for one reason or another. Wife has a partner that’s been pretty stable for almost a year though and girlfriend has a LDR that’s been strong for 5ish years.
We’ve all “come out” to our family and friends long ago, mostly with no blowback. I am not close with people at my current job, so they don’t know, but, I also use the words ‘wife’ and ‘girlfriend’ so if they haven’t picked up on it, it’s not because I’m omitting, I’m just not telling people that don’t need to know about my personal life the specifics about my personal life.
If you were to judge monogamy by the shit that pops up in relationship advice threads, people would have a bad impression of it as well!
I’m polyamorous myself, with a girlfriend of about 18 months and another of nearly a year. Both my relationships are stable and very fulfilling, and also relaxed and laid-back. It takes more communication to have it work but for me I can’t even imagine living any other way, polyamory feels right for me and me and my partners are happier than we’ve ever been.
Granted, my relationships aren’t a case of opening an existing partnership, but rather I talked about the fact that I’m polyamorous to each partner very early on before we even considered a relationship. Most drama I’ve seen in polyamory comes from one partner in a monogamous pair wanting “more” and so the decision is pretty one sided, and neither is willing to really put in the work and communication that healthy polyamory requires. Every polyamorous person I know that started their relationships as polyamorous is healthy and happy in their partnerships.
