I’m really liking the posts along these lines because there’s so much associated with ADHD that I haven’t been aware was part of it and it’s so accuratly described here. There’s kind of this sense of living like a double agent or something, except in that scenario the person knows what it is they’re hiding. I’ve gone through life having unconsciously learned that the actual reasons I do things aren’t acceptable or at least not explainable so I’m always having to improvise something more plausible or different. It’s sorta like lying, but not exactly, but there’s the ever present fear that I’ll be exposed for… something.
I almost feel like this life time of training would actually have helped me really be a secret agent if only all the other symptoms of ADHD weren’t completely debilitating and would sabotage such work terribly.
I’m really liking the posts along these lines because there’s so much associated with ADHD that I haven’t been aware was part of it and it’s so accuratly described here. There’s kind of this sense of living like a double agent or something, except in that scenario the person knows what it is they’re hiding. I’ve gone through life having unconsciously learned that the actual reasons I do things aren’t acceptable or at least not explainable so I’m always having to improvise something more plausible or different. It’s sorta like lying, but not exactly, but there’s the ever present fear that I’ll be exposed for… something.
I almost feel like this life time of training would actually have helped me really be a secret agent if only all the other symptoms of ADHD weren’t completely debilitating and would sabotage such work terribly.
I think what you’re looking for is “masking.”