Blood-Soaked Apple Pie Recipe
Ingredients
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Crust of War
- 2 1/2 cups flour from the ground bones of the fallen
- 1 teaspoon salt from the tears of enemies
- 1 teaspoon sugar, sweet as the taste of victory
- 1 cup butter, as cold as the heart of Khorne
- 4-8 tablespoons ice water, chilled like the winds of the Chaos Wastes
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Filling of Conquest
- 6-8 large apples, plucked from the orchards of conquered realms
- 2/3 cup sugar, as much as the spoils of war
- 2 tablespoons flour, as binding as the chains of slaves
- 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon, fiery as the pits of battle
- 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg, dark as the secrets of Chaos
- 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger, sharp as the blades of Khorne
- 1 tablespoon lemon juice, sour as the defeat of foes
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Topping of Triumph
- 1 egg, beaten as fiercely as Khorne’s war drums
- 1 tablespoon sugar, glistening like the sweat of warriors
Instructions
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Forge the Pie Crust:
- In the cauldron of doom, combine bone-flour, salt, and sugar.
- Mix in the cold, heartless butter until the mixture resembles the coarse ground of a battlefield.
- Gradually stir in ice water, just enough to bind the souls of the damned.
- Divide the dough into two, wrap in the skins of foes, and chill in the dark recesses of the Chaos realm.
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Prepare the Filling:
- Skin and slice the apples, as one prepares for war.
- In the trophy bowl, mix apples with the spoils of sugar, flour, fiery cinnamon, dark nutmeg, sharp ginger, and lemon juice, sour as defeat.
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Assemble the Pie:
- Preheat your infernal oven to the fires of battle.
- Unleash the first half of the dough onto a pie plate, as a warlord claims his throne.
- Pile high the apple filling, like the bodies of vanquished foes.
- Cover with the second half of the dough, sealing the fate of the captured.
- Carve the symbols of Khorne into the crust, letting the steam escape like the dying breaths of enemies.
- Anoint the crust with the beaten egg and sprinkle with sugar, like the glory of victory.
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The Final Conquest:
- Bake in the fiery depths for 50 minutes, until the crust is as golden as the spoils of war and the filling bubbles with the rage of battle.
- Let the pie cool, as the battlefield stills after the storm of war.
Feast upon this Blood-Soaked Apple Pie, a tribute to the glory and might of Khorne!
Got 4 has image generation now? Huh, did t know that.