Ok speaking as someone whose had bottom surgery and watched someone recover from top surgery let me just say this: if your minor child has a sex change procedure (usually implies surgery) without you knowing you aren’t involved enough. Between the several letters of recommendation, the year of hormones, the hours and hours (and over a thousand dollars) of genital hair removal over like a year, and the drives to appointments with the surgeon several times (maybe you lucked out and they’re in town, but the only bottom surgeons in Ohio are in Cleveland and Columbus). That’s all before the recovery. If you don’t notice your kid can’t lift their arms much for a month/can’t comfortably sit or get up after disappearing for a week you’re not spending enough time with them to get a full say in their life. Trust me, you can’t fucking hide recovering from gender affirming surgery. Well unless you’re that chick I know who flew a plane a few days after bottom surgery.
Oh absolutely, yeah the number of trans people who get disowned even now is horrifying. But stories from the 90s are next level. I once met a programmer who spent her teen years as a prostitute since she came out as trans in the early 90s and was kicked out. Turns out it’s not easy for teenagers to make enough to keep a roof over their head and buy black market hormones without selling something illegal. She had an orchiectomy at 18 in some guy’s basement.
Still today an extremely disproportionate portion of homeless youth are disowned trans kids.
I was disowned myself when I came out at 20. Fortunately one of my parents was accepting and I wasn’t thrown out, but I was housing insecure for the rest of college and I did learn what it’s like to spend a night in a car in an Ohio winter from time to time. With my supportive mom I was never pressured, just assisted in what I said I wanted.
In a lot of ways this all resembles the minimization of suffering abortion argument. It will happen, how bad do we want it to be?
This idea that children are being coerced into transitioning by parents is wild considering the massive pressure still placed by parents on trans teenagers to be cis. Sorry if this wound up on a bit of a tangent
No, not a tangent. I think cis people need to hear your story and others. Because it doesn’t get discussed, people have misconceptions about who you are and what is involved. Many still think it’s a choice. That needs to be demystified. Discussion is the only way that happens. I can’t pretend to know the struggle, but I try to understand.
Many still think it’s a choice. That needs to be demystified.
To me, this sentiment is such a big part of the problem. The abuse, the homelessness, the insecurity: those are all symptoms of the problem, but needing justify any of gestures wildly everywherethis as not being a choice is such a big part of the problem.
Why can’t it be a choice? I’m not gay and I know I’m not because I’ve chosen to kiss guys to find out. I don’t always feel comfortable in my skin and sometimes feel more powerful when I’m wearing makeup or am dressed like a 1980s bully. But what if I just wanted to dress as a woman or be referred to as “her” for a week or if my wife wanted to grow a beard? The fact that anyone feels the need to justify these “odd” behaviors as part of biology or whatever further detracts from the correct response to someone having had a sex change or any other personal choice: “cool, it’s none of my business, but I’m glad you felt comfortable sharing that with me.”
I realize that society is so far from ready for this view that my argument probably comes off a reductive, but I’m so tired of seeing wonderful people or even okay-ish people suffering from a population trying to wipe them from existence. I no longer feel the need to justify anything to these assholes and the only explanation they should ever hear again is, “because. Now kindly fuck off.”
Agree, it doesn’t matter if one is “born this way”. People should be able to do or wear whatever they want, represent themselves as whatever they want, so long as they are not harming others.
And no, offending conservative sensibilities is not harm.
I moved out of my parents house and drove from Florida to Minnesota less than two weeks after top surgery. I can’t say I recommend doing that. I didn’t exactly tell my parents I was having top surgery, I just told them I was out of town visiting friends for a week and I think they might have found out the first time I went swimming shirtless, lol. But I was also an adult at that point and had long ago realized if I’m doing something expensive and important for myself, don’t ask permission. A minor is not legally allowed to do what I did and that’s probably for the best, your point still stands, lol.
Ok speaking as someone whose had bottom surgery and watched someone recover from top surgery let me just say this: if your minor child has a sex change procedure (usually implies surgery) without you knowing you aren’t involved enough. Between the several letters of recommendation, the year of hormones, the hours and hours (and over a thousand dollars) of genital hair removal over like a year, and the drives to appointments with the surgeon several times (maybe you lucked out and they’re in town, but the only bottom surgeons in Ohio are in Cleveland and Columbus). That’s all before the recovery. If you don’t notice your kid can’t lift their arms much for a month/can’t comfortably sit or get up after disappearing for a week you’re not spending enough time with them to get a full say in their life. Trust me, you can’t fucking hide recovering from gender affirming surgery. Well unless you’re that chick I know who flew a plane a few days after bottom surgery.
Truth. They want to pretend that parents are coercing their children into surgery. Not happening. Sorry you’re having to put up with this shit.
Oh absolutely, yeah the number of trans people who get disowned even now is horrifying. But stories from the 90s are next level. I once met a programmer who spent her teen years as a prostitute since she came out as trans in the early 90s and was kicked out. Turns out it’s not easy for teenagers to make enough to keep a roof over their head and buy black market hormones without selling something illegal. She had an orchiectomy at 18 in some guy’s basement.
Still today an extremely disproportionate portion of homeless youth are disowned trans kids.
I was disowned myself when I came out at 20. Fortunately one of my parents was accepting and I wasn’t thrown out, but I was housing insecure for the rest of college and I did learn what it’s like to spend a night in a car in an Ohio winter from time to time. With my supportive mom I was never pressured, just assisted in what I said I wanted.
In a lot of ways this all resembles the minimization of suffering abortion argument. It will happen, how bad do we want it to be?
This idea that children are being coerced into transitioning by parents is wild considering the massive pressure still placed by parents on trans teenagers to be cis. Sorry if this wound up on a bit of a tangent
No, not a tangent. I think cis people need to hear your story and others. Because it doesn’t get discussed, people have misconceptions about who you are and what is involved. Many still think it’s a choice. That needs to be demystified. Discussion is the only way that happens. I can’t pretend to know the struggle, but I try to understand.
To me, this sentiment is such a big part of the problem. The abuse, the homelessness, the insecurity: those are all symptoms of the problem, but needing justify any of gestures wildly everywhere this as not being a choice is such a big part of the problem.
Why can’t it be a choice? I’m not gay and I know I’m not because I’ve chosen to kiss guys to find out. I don’t always feel comfortable in my skin and sometimes feel more powerful when I’m wearing makeup or am dressed like a 1980s bully. But what if I just wanted to dress as a woman or be referred to as “her” for a week or if my wife wanted to grow a beard? The fact that anyone feels the need to justify these “odd” behaviors as part of biology or whatever further detracts from the correct response to someone having had a sex change or any other personal choice: “cool, it’s none of my business, but I’m glad you felt comfortable sharing that with me.”
I realize that society is so far from ready for this view that my argument probably comes off a reductive, but I’m so tired of seeing wonderful people or even okay-ish people suffering from a population trying to wipe them from existence. I no longer feel the need to justify anything to these assholes and the only explanation they should ever hear again is, “because. Now kindly fuck off.”
Agree, it doesn’t matter if one is “born this way”. People should be able to do or wear whatever they want, represent themselves as whatever they want, so long as they are not harming others.
And no, offending conservative sensibilities is not harm.
You have a point. How does one map farts?
By smell I imagine
Follow your nooooose!
no, they’re afraid of “the wrong people” are coercing their children into surgery, because that’s what they do
I moved out of my parents house and drove from Florida to Minnesota less than two weeks after top surgery. I can’t say I recommend doing that. I didn’t exactly tell my parents I was having top surgery, I just told them I was out of town visiting friends for a week and I think they might have found out the first time I went swimming shirtless, lol. But I was also an adult at that point and had long ago realized if I’m doing something expensive and important for myself, don’t ask permission. A minor is not legally allowed to do what I did and that’s probably for the best, your point still stands, lol.