cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ca/post/15618832
Hey there lemmy, I need some help, I have this friend who is totally in denial about being a girl, she always insists that she is a boy but she likes to wear women’s clothes, style her hair, paint her nails, etc. She even talks about wanting to look cute and fem. Basically she’s all the way there, but she keeps denying her true identity, saying dumb things like “I’m a boy” or “he/they please”. I can tell she likes being called by she/her though because of how flustered and red she gets when I do it, especially in public or in front of her or my friends.
Please help a girl out here, how can I convince her of the fact that she’s a trans girl and not a boy? I tried talking to her about her fashion choices, how it’s not normal for boys to wear skirts, thigh highs, or a bow in their hair, but she doesn’t listen and insists she’s a boy. I also told her that boys don’t fantasize about looking cute and girly, then she gets all flustered and tries to make stupid non-sensical arguments about how she can still be a boy. I feel so sad for her, I just want to help but she’s more resistant than any egg I’ve come across.
Have you considered he might just have a non-standard gender expression? It doesn’t say anything about his gender identity. And even if he someday determines he’s not a boy, he might be non binary or agender or genderfluid or any number of other things.
Just apologize for pressuring him, let him figure himself out in his own time.
You’re being a douche. Stop it
Of course men can be into girly things. It’s not your place to decide someone’s gender and incredibly rude to try and force it on a person. The fact that you misgender him this entire post while even admitting he prefers male or neutral pronouns really shows a lack of respect.
That’s not your place, and you might wanna stay in your lane before you lose that friend’s respect entirely. 😐
The way you help is by supporting your friend whenever they’re ready to tell you. It’s by making it clear to your friend that it is safe to tell you.
It does not look like trying to tell your friend you know who they are better than they do.
Howdy there, I’m a non-conforming man who has long hair and wears skirts - I don’t identify as a woman and I was AMAB - I also don’t identify as a transvestite as I’m not wearing skirts to look like a woman - I wear them because they look swishy and I love that.
I am who I’ve chosen to be - your friend is who they’ve chosen to be. Let them be who they are or get the fuck out of their life.
Do you want breasts? My friend wants breasts, she also tries to make her voice fem too. It’s obvious she isn’t cis, she wants to look and sound like a girl
You dont. It cannot be forced. Seeing people live their lives happy as trans and being welcoming and available and accepting is all you can do.
