Alcohol and weed don’t sound appealing.
hookers?
Cocaine feels like a good time.
Cocaine feels like the need for more cocaine.
No one has ever been more correct.
A strong few years of devoted, in-depth field research on the subject yielded this insight and…not much else. Still trying to get published, maybe in High Times Investigative Quarterly (they’re an academic outfit, right?)
When my partner is out of town, I put porn on the big screen
When my partner is out of town that’s the one time I splurge for an actual porn subscription
Sext her.
Sext her sister
Sext her sister’s BIL
My dad would always cook up liver and onions when Mom was away. He loved the dish, the smell made her retch. So he took advantage, cooked it up early while she was away so the house would air out by the time she returned.
What do you do (or avoid doing) out of courtesy to your wife that you can enjoy while she’s away and unaffected?
My mum was raised without eating pork (they just didn’t have it growing up), and my dad saw and heard the abattoir near daily and associates the smell of pork with screaming children.
On the odd weekend when they were both away, us kids would sprint to the store, grab reams of bacon and cook it fast on the sly for a real fry-up. We’d have to air out the house as well afterwards to get rid of the smell, but they’d always know and complain about it when they got back
Protip for if you find a time machine: Charcoal Grill, fire extinguisher, tinfoil, and a pan that’ll fit in the grill. Start your grill, get it all hot and stuff, line your pan with foil, drop your bacon on, cover, and check occasionally, flip when needed. DO NOT spill the grease, but if you do that’s why the fire extinguisher is here. For best results use thick cut bacon (always).
Keeps the smell outside and it’ll be some of the best bacon you’ve ever had, it’s just kiiiind of a fire hazard…
I’m so glad your mom and dad found each other.
All night video game session. Grab your preffered snacks and drinks.
YEEEEEE LEZZ GOOOOOO
I watch horribly artsy movies or put speed runs on the big TV, blast music aloud, I order a pizza, and I consume the substances you don’t find appealing, and I wear the same clothes the entire time without changing
Truest statement.
Sleep on her side of the bed. Then don’t tell her what you did.
This is some next-level chaos.
She’ll know. The smell. Also the breadcrumbs.
And bits of dried pizza cheese.
Buy one of those silicone eggs to jerk off with
Do what I do, plan for porn, fastfood and beer. In reality you buy a six pack of your old brand, then drink half a beer with a large cheeseburger. Get queasy from the burger and fall a sleep before you manage to play with yourself. Wake up to find that the dog ate your fries and got diarrhea, which you slept through on account of the beer. Now clean up dog diarrhea with hangovers while swearing that you’ll never drink half a beer.
LPT: disable the roomba before sitting down, and make sure that the dog has been walked…
If you don’t like alcohol or weed, cocaine is a helluva drug.
Heh yeah. I’ll just call up my xoke dealer.
Aww yeah, gonna get the iron warmed up for an all nighter
“Alcohol and weed don’t sound appealing.”
<insert>We are not the same meme
I lasted like 40 mins before hitting the vape pen
Good
Relevant username
Again, Factorio
Factorio
He said he only had a weekend though.
Pee in all the sinks.
What about the sink I poop in?
Cleaning that up is gonna be work.
The shower.
Waffle stomp!
