My instinct is that the first (hero complex) would tend to lead someone to adventurism, but I’m not super clear on what the second (collectivist mindset) looks like in practice. Having grown up in the US, where individualist seems to be pushed to an extreme degree and collectivism equated to being a hivemind, it’s a bit difficult sometimes for me to understand what collectivism looks like in practice.

Where it gets especially difficult for me, and why I thought to come ask here where people may be able to help with the distinction, is that I have people-pleasing tendencies to a degree that seems unhealthy; in the sense of not valuing my own needs and boundaries to the extent that it’s difficult for me to be properly equipped to help others in the first place. In the vague land of hypotheticals, I get that difference; ok, I make sure I am taken care of to the extent that I can function effectively and then I can help others, right?

But in practice, where does this line make sense for a more collectivist effort, is I think the question I’m trying to get at so that I can point in an effective direction in practice, without either: 1) Slipping toward individualist thinking in order to satisfy criteria of being “less of a people-pleaser” or 2) In the other direction, using collectivist goals as a means to feed existing people-pleasing tendencies (and forgetting to value myself in the process).

As it is, conditions are not always as clean as in the hypothetical. Getting needs met can be multifaceted and take significant time. Could the problem here be that I’m just lacking strong examples to learn from in my life? I don’t know.

But I put the question to you. Hope this makes sense.

  • cfgaussian@lemmygrad.ml
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    7 months ago

    This is a very good question and imo the first step to overcoming the individualist mentality is having the humility to ask questions like this. That being said i don’t think that “people pleasing” has much to do with either individualism or collectivism, i think it’s just something that those of us with personal insecurities can sometimes fall into. Still, it doesn’t need to be a bad thing if channeled into doing good things for others.