• _number8_@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    i like how the answers are the exact same generic unhelpful drivel you hear 20k times a month if you’re depressed as well. real improvement there. when people google that they want immediate relief, not fucking oh go for a walk every day, no shit. the triviality of the suggestion makes the depression worse because you know it’s going to do nothing the first week besides make you feel sweaty and looked at and alone. like if i’m feeling recovered enough to go walk every day then i’m already feeling good enough that i don’t need to be googling about depression tips. this shit drives me insane.

    • BradleyUffner@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      i like how the answers are the exact same generic unhelpful drivel you hear 20k times a month if you’re depressed as well.

      It makes sense though. It was trained on that drivel.

    • Revan343@lemmy.ca
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      2 months ago

      when people google that they want immediate relief

      Well, bad news as far as ‘immediate relief from depression’ goes.

      Though I suppose there’s always ketamine.

        • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          For some. Some of us would take at least a week to get there. Surely there must be a bridge on the east coast that works!

        • Seudo@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          The ultimate question of philosophy…

          "Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?
          -Camus

      • barsoap@lemm.ee
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        2 months ago

        The trouble with ketamine is that once you reassociate shit’s back to where it was. It can alleviate symptoms and in very serious cases that might be called for but it’s definitely not a cure. Taking drugs to lower a fewer also alleviates symptoms, in serious cases will save lives, but it’s not going to get rid of the bug causing the fewer.

    • HelixDab2@lemm.ee
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      2 months ago

      when people google that they want immediate relief, not fucking oh go for a walk every day,

      The problem is that there is no immediate relief that isn’t either a) suicide, or b) won’t make things worse in the long run. Even something like ECT doesn’t work instantly; it takes several treatments. Transcranial magnetic stimulation seems promising, but it’s not a frontline treatment. The generic shit is the stuff that actually works in the long run, things like getting therapy, exercising, going outside more, interacting with people in a positive way, and so on. “Self care”–isolating and doing easy, comfortable things–will make things worse in the long run.

    • barsoap@lemm.ee
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      2 months ago
      1. Accept that your brain wants to do something different than what you had planned, thus
      2. Cancel all mid- to long-term appointments and
      3. Use the opportunity of not having that shit distracting you to reinforce good moment-to-moment habits. Like taking a walk today, because you can use the opportunity to buy fresh food today, to make a nice meal today, because that’s a good idea you can enjoy today while the back of your mind does its thing, not something you can do anything about in particular so stop worrying. And you probably don’t want to go shopping in pyjamas without taking a shower so that’s also dealt with. And with that,
      4. You have a way to set a minimum standard for yourself that will keep you away from an unproductive downward spiral and keep depression what it’s supposed to be, and that’s a fewer to sweat out shitty ideas, concepts, and habits, none of which, let’s be honest, involve good food and a good shower. That’s not shitty shit you dislike.

      The tl;dr is that depression doesn’t mean you need to suffer or anything. Unless you insist on clinging to that to be sweated out stuff, that is. The downregulating of vigour is global, yes, necessary to starve the BS, but if you don’t get your underwear in a twist over longer-term stuff your everyday might very well turn out to simply be laid back.

      …OTOH yeah if this is your first time and you don’t have either a natural knack for it or the wherewithal to be spontaneously gullible enough to believe me, good luck.

      Also clinical depression as in “my body just can’t produce the right neurotransmitters, physiologically” is a completely different beast. Also you might be depressive and not know it especially if you’re male because the usual symptom set follows female-pattern symptoms.

      • fine_sandy_bottom@discuss.tchncs.de
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        2 months ago

        You’ve laid out your personal depression cure to someone stating that reading about other people’s depression cures is incredibly frustrating when you’re actually depressed.

        It’s great that you’ve found a plan that works for you, but don’t minimise everyone else’s suffering by proposing your own therapy.

        In most cases the best thing you can do to help is to try to understand how someone is feeling.

        • barsoap@lemm.ee
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          2 months ago

          You’ve laid out your personal depression cure to someone stating that reading about other people’s depression cures is incredibly frustrating when you’re actually depressed.

          That’s not what the complaint was about. The complaint was about the generic drivel. The population-based “We observed 1000 patients and those that did these things got better” stuff that ignores why those people ended up doing those things, ignorance of the underlying dynamics which also conveniently fits a “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” narrative. The kind of stuff that ignores what people are going through. Ignores which agency exists, and which not.

          Read what I wrote not as a plan “though shall get up at 6 and go on a brisk walk”, that’s BS and not what I wrote. Read it as an understanding of how things work dressed up as a plan. Going out and cooking food? Just an example, apply your own judgement of what’s good and proper for you moment to moment. You can read past the concrete examples, I believe in you.

          In most cases the best thing you can do to help is to try to understand how someone is feeling.

          The trick is to understand why you’re in that situation, what your grander self is doing, or at least trust it enough to ride along. Stop second-guessing the path you’re on and walk it, instead. You don’t really have a choice of path, but you do have a choice of footwear.

          Or, differently put: What’s more important, understanding a feeling or where it’s coming from? Why it’s there? What it’s doing? What is its purpose? …what are the options? Knowing all this, many feelings will be more fleeting that you might think.

          There’s an old Discorian parable, and actually read it it’s not the one you think it is:

          I dreamed that I was walking down the beach with the Goddess. And I looked back and saw footprints in the sand.
          But sometimes there were two pairs of footprints, and sometimes there was only one. And the times when there was only one pair of footprints, those were my times of greatest trouble.
          So I asked the Goddess, “Why, in my greatest need, did you abandon me?”
          She replied, “I never left you. Those were the times when we both hopped on one foot.”
          And lo, I was really embarassed for bothering Her with such a stupid question.

          • fine_sandy_bottom@discuss.tchncs.de
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            2 months ago

            I mean this in the nicest possible way but you seem absolutely insufferable.

            This is precisely the type of un-depress yourself advice that helps no one.

            • barsoap@lemm.ee
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              2 months ago

              I seem to be speaking Klingon. I never told anyone to “un-depress” themselves. Quite the contrary, I’m talking about the necessity to accept that it’ll be the path you’re walking on for, potentially, quite a while. All I’m telling you is that that path doesn’t have to be miserable, or a downward spiral.

              Make a distinction between these two scenarios: One, someone has a fever. They get told “stop having a fever, lower your temperature, then you’ll be fine”. Second, same kind of fever, they get told “Accept that you have a fever. Make sure to drink enough and to make yourself otherwise comfortable in the moment. Ignore the idiot with the ‘un-fever yourself’ talk”.

      • _number8_@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        again, this is all long term executive function that you are generally incapable of performing or even contemplating when depressed. maybe you can protestant-work-ethic yourself out of depression but that doesn’t mean everyone can. oh yeah lemme just keep being fucking harsh with myself, that’s the ticket.

        what i want to hear is

        • take a bath
        • have chamomile tea, it binds to your GABA receptors
        • go outside to breath the fresh air and look at the moon
        • etc

        simple, actionable things that don’t have barely-hidden contempt or disinterest behind them

        • barsoap@lemm.ee
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          2 months ago

          I’m sorry what’s long-term executive function about cancelling your appointments? What’s harsh about it?

          What about “take a bath” and “go outside to breathe” is less protestant-work-ethic than what I was saying?

          The simple, actionable things are, precisely, the simple, actionable things. “Breathe in the fresh air” is not actionable when living in a city. “Sit on a bench and people-watch” is not actionable in the countryside. You know much better where you live, what simple things you could do right now. The point is not about the precise action, it’s about that it’s simple and actionable thus you should do it. Also, to a large degree, that it’s your idea, something you want.

    • Dave.@aussie.zone
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      2 months ago

      i like how the answers are the exact same generic unhelpful drivel you hear 20k times a month if you’re…

      Searching for a solution to any problem on the internet.

      There are a million ad- laden sites that, in answer to a technical question about your PC, suggest that you run antivirus, system file checker, oh and then just format and reinstall your operating system. That is also 90 percent of the answers coming from “Microsoft volunteer support engineers” on Microsoft’s own support forums as well, just please like and upvote their answer if it helps you.

      There are a million Instagram and tiktok videos showing obvious trivial, shitty, solutions to everyday problems as if they are revealing the secrets of the universe while they’re glueing bottle tops and scraps of car tires together to make a television remote holder.

      There are a trillion posts on Reddit from trolls and shitheads just doing it for teh lulz and Google is happily slurping this entire torrent of shit down and trying to regurgitate it as advice with no human oversight.

      I reckon their search business has about two years left at this rate before the general public regards them as a joke.

    • ulterno@lemmy.kde.social
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      2 months ago

      I feel like the user’s suggestion of “jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge” would be more impactful in that case, you know, to awaken your survival instincts, which prevents depression.
      But on the off chance that someone actually goes and jumps off, a professional would probably not give that advice.