A few days ago i made a post about me starting working at a factory, grad has been very kind in providing messages of support and tips on how to deal with physical exhaustion and keeping healthy.

today, i don’t know what to do or to think, im one week in and seriously thinking in quitting, can’t take anymore, not so much about physical exhaustion, but mentally, even cried in the bathroom today.

and that is what is bothering me, how to come to terms with being so weak. im not trying to make anyone fell pity or something, especially when we still have colonies where things are hardcore and palestinians getting massacred.

like, idk what to do, i can’t do mental work because i can’t get a fucking job in it, and I’m not handling physical work, and confused about how being weak and not even capable of taking care of myself and handle a job, and be useful in a revolution or be up to the same level of many brave people fighting for the rights to exist, or something as simple as following party discipline.

sometimes i which i could just cease to exist, that way would stop being dead weight and not smudge the good name of our comrades.

edit: i am really moved by your kindness, i will answer each soon.

  • bunbun@lemmygrad.ml
    0·
    5 months ago

    I’m saying this as someone who went (and is still going) through the same experience of not fitting anywhere, including my own head, incapable of hard labor, and for the longest time unable to land a spot to work with my brains. The only thing that really matters is that you do well by yourself. If you’re not okay, you’re definitely not freeing the colonies, not helping Palestinians or bringing about the revolution.

    There is nothing fundamentally broken in you. People are very different, but the conditions of the world force everyone to be the same, and then shame you for not trying hard enough if you’re not. There absolutely is a place for you in the world and lives of others. I can’t give you a solution, but my advice is to be more open, with yourself and others, and to learn to ask for and accept help. Coworkers, family, friends, government, mutual support orgs, whomever. It might be extremely difficult. But you’re not alone in any of this, and people are built to work together. You’ve done a good job getting this far.