Hey, another fellow lolita!! I’m sorry to hear your local comms are so toxic. I live in Germany and I’m lucky that the comm local to me is incredibly welcoming and fun.

I’m plus size, but wear almost exclusively brand, so I have some experience with alterations too. I highly recommend checking if your pieces have pockets, because I’ve been able to extend the sizing of a dress by 10 to 15 cm using pocket fabric alone. I’m happy to answer questions if you’re interested in alterations.

I can only speak from my personal experience, but the online communities I’m a part of on discord are really friendly too. I’m on the plus size lolita discord, but that obviously might not be relevant to you. If you’re interested in finding a community, you might have to dig a little but there are friendly communities out there. But it’s completely valid if you’d rather just wear lolita by yourself. They are just clothes at the end of the day.

Sending positive vibes your way 💙 (I’m just up so I’m sorry if my thoughts are kinda scattered lol)