Is body dysmorphia out of someone’s control? Is mental illness? Is being raised in a toxic society and being manipulated to never feel good enough?
You allow yourself way too much grace if you think you can judge a person’s appearance on the fact whether a person is responsible for their appearance or not. Even with plastic surgery. At some point in their lives they felt like they wanted to change something about their look. For what reasons, you don’t know. Why they went as far as they did or whether something was botched, you also don’t know. Whether they are happy or not with the results, you also don’t know.
It’s her responsibility because she did this willingly and agreed to it is such a short sighted and black and white way of thinking. Even if she did, even if she likes the result and it is as intended, it is not your place to body shame her or anyone at all. The best case scenario is that you are just bashing someone’s aesthetic choices based on your preferences. More likely you are adding insecurity to a vulnerable person (because all of us are vulnerable if we’re being honest).
So maybe try to be kind the next time. If you think it looks awful, keep it to yourself. We have so much negativity and judginess going around already.
I absolutely agree. Very well written, and you did an amazing job by highlighting the difference between responsibility (which is neutral) and fault (which is negative) here.
Is body dysmorphia out of someone’s control? Is mental illness? Is being raised in a toxic society and being manipulated to never feel good enough?
You allow yourself way too much grace if you think you can judge a person’s appearance on the fact whether a person is responsible for their appearance or not. Even with plastic surgery. At some point in their lives they felt like they wanted to change something about their look. For what reasons, you don’t know. Why they went as far as they did or whether something was botched, you also don’t know. Whether they are happy or not with the results, you also don’t know.
It’s her responsibility because she did this willingly and agreed to it is such a short sighted and black and white way of thinking. Even if she did, even if she likes the result and it is as intended, it is not your place to body shame her or anyone at all. The best case scenario is that you are just bashing someone’s aesthetic choices based on your preferences. More likely you are adding insecurity to a vulnerable person (because all of us are vulnerable if we’re being honest).
So maybe try to be kind the next time. If you think it looks awful, keep it to yourself. We have so much negativity and judginess going around already.
I absolutely agree. Very well written, and you did an amazing job by highlighting the difference between responsibility (which is neutral) and fault (which is negative) here.