• Huschke@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    I dislike this guy as much as everyone else, but isn’t the fact that his son wants to tell him about Pokémon all the time an indication that he is not a terrible father?

    I mean, I can only speak from personal experience, but the kids I’ve seen who are treated badly do not want to talk to their parents about their interests.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Somehow I have gone through over 14 years of parenthood without ever telling my child to “shut the hell up.”

      You say, “please be quiet for a minute, ok? We’re talking about something important.” Something like that seemed to work just fine when she was of the age where she constantly babbled about video games.

    • Prethoryn Overmind@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Or his son wants attention you can be treated poorly without being treated poorly physically.

      Manny wats to interpret a situation and of a kid wants to tell him someone one time how do we know he is constantly wanting to talk about it.

      Regardless, your comment does one thing it tries to side step the real glooming issue. You shouldn’t be an ass to your kids by shutting them down the way he did. There are way better ways to handle this. I cuss like a sailor but I would never tell a kid to shut the hell up.

      Nah, this is guys a fuckwad.

      • Huschke@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        I agree with you in principle, but after having a kid who, without wanting to go into too much detail, requires my constant attention, I can understand parents losing their cool. Thankfully, I have never done it myself, but I have definitely been close to my breaking point a few times already.

        Look, all I’m saying is that I have stopped judging parents as easily as I did when I didn’t have any kids. The guy might be an ass to them. Or he might not be. I just dislike people jumping to conclusions as fast as they are.

    • RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works
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      3 months ago

      I wanted to tell my dad about Pokemon, but my parents were religious fanatics. They sent me to an all boys extreme religious group home for being autistic where kids were raped and beat. My parents wouldn’t listen as I begged them to take me out and that we were being abused. They still defend the place 20 years later after it was sued into the ground. When I came out to them this year as transfem they told me not to contact them again and I haven’t heard a word since.

      It’s not a very reliable indication that a kid wants to share their interests with their mom and dad. They’re your parents. Kids crave bonding over their interests.

      I still wish things were better and dad would play video games with me, even though I know he’s a piece of shit sent from the lowest level of humanity attainable.

    • Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I mean my kid will tell everyone who will listen about Pokemon cards, even complete strangers, so I dunno if it has anything to do with parenting.

    • Dead_or_Alive@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Yeah people are reading too much into this. I’d like to think I’d never say shut the hell up to my kids (or anyone else), but everyone’s family dynamic is different.

      Unfortunately sometimes you have to make them understand that now is not the time. This may be his attempt to do so.

      I only spanked my kids once and that was when they tried to run into traffic. I’m sure some people watching judged me and thought I was a terrible parent. But I needed to make them understand immediately that they can’t do that.

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Unfortunately sometimes you have to make them understand that now is not the time. This may be his attempt to do so.

        And yet my parents, my wife’s parents and we as parents have never had to say that to a child. Once.

        I only spanked my kids once and that was when they tried to run into traffic. I’m sure some people watching judged me and thought I was a terrible parent. But I needed to make them understand immediately that they can’t do that.

        So they learned the necessary truth that if they try to run into traffic, they will be hit by a parent?

        I don’t think you’re a terrible parent for that, but I am judging you. That doesn’t let them know why it’s wrong to run into traffic, it just lets them think it makes you angry. That is not a way to teach your kids a lesson.

      • FatCrab@lemmy.one
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        3 months ago

        Nah, man, you made an error in your parenting. It’s not a big deal so long as your recognize it but at this point there is pretty substantial evidence that such discipline techniques are generally more harmful than not.

        And that’s ok, because honestly parenting is fucking hard. I definitely get rougher and less patient with my kid when I’m stressed, but it’s a behavior I recognize I need to change and actively work on because it is objectively, unquestionably, bad parenting. This is a long way of saying that while, yea, family dynamics vary, there are many ways of parenting that are just very clearly bad or good, and recognizing the bad, even in ourselves, is something that is necessary for being a complete parent.

        • Dead_or_Alive@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Not at all what I meant. I’m not sorry and I would spank my kids again if they tried to do something life threatening (fortunately they are old enough that I don’t have to do that).

          People shouldn’t jump to conclusions or judge other parents for their parenting styles as long as it isn’t out and out abuse.

          There are plenty of other policy and moral decisions that J.D. Vance to bag on than the way he disciplined his kid. If there was a history of abuse then that would be a different thing altogether.