To be fair I still do these things but only when I’m alone.
Personally I love finding big puddles and then dig drains with a stick or my heel and watch the water flow.
Also love to throw a piece of wood into water and then toss stones high up in the air and try hit it imagining it’s a warship I’m trying to bomb.
Then also without going into details there are some pieces of clothing I would like to wear but don’t because they’re considered femine or gay.
In my past I used take on janitorial or maintenance jobs, but the grossness of the job combined with the attitude of the general public just made it unbearable. People would ask me if I was a citizen and when I said yes, they’d tell me that it’s a job for immigrants. They’d also say that it’s a job for slaves and ask if I felt like a slave doing that kind of work.
Wear a mask wherever I go. Not so much because for health reasons, but because I like to hide my face. I feel more comfortable that way, but at the same time people stare at you like you’re some kind of terrorist.
I prefer to wear scarves or other items that hide my face below my eyes.Skirts, dresses, thigh highs, crop tops, and just generally the womens section of the clothing store. So many items there that are a lot more interesting than what the mens section has to offer.
I see you, you are valid and you are worth it <3
I do whatever the fuck I want, unless it is unpolite or could hurt somebody’s freedom.
I learnt that, as I don’t give a shit about what people are doing, they must also don’t give a shit either. People just care about themselves most of the time. The day I realized that, I had a strong freedom feeling.
Having kids multiplied this attitude by 1000 and actually, I see people smiling and interacting with us while we’re fooling around.
GO PLAY WITH FUCKING PUDDLES WEARING PINK PANTIES ON YOUR HEAD MY DUDE ! I might join you.
Ideally yes. But as a guy I have been insulted in public for small things like wearing nail polish, and that’s in a liberal German city. Most people don’t care, some don’t like it, some compliment it and some make me feel unsafe.
And that of course has an effect in other areas too: what if my boss or my coworkers don’t like me wearing nail polish? They would never be open about it (our company would not allow it), but it might lead to some bias against me. And as they wouldn’t be open about it, I couldn’t react to it (by calling them out or changing jobs). Instead I might just advance more slowly and wonder why that is. It really fucks with your mind, when you know there is bias against you (or something you do) but you never know in which situations it actually comes into play.
I still wear nail polish most of the time, because fuck the haters and we need to make progress somehow, but it’s not as easy as “I don’t care about them so they don’t care about me”.
I got you. Of course it’s easier said than done. But you got to be nuanced and able to read the room. Maybe think ahead to avoid being in trouble (work, edgy neighborhoods).
But in the end, you must not care. Even insults. Insults have the value only you give to them.
Take care ♥️
Because when I do what I want, I get called a “retard” or asked “what the fuck are you doing?” by the people around me. I make a point to try to do things quietly (stopping to observe a cool bug, making chalk drawings on the sidewalk, saying “wheee!” on the swings, etc.), but it really doesn’t matter.
I’ve caught glimpses of people filming me before, so I now only do what I want in privacy.
Also doesn’t help that I’ve been accused of “doing it for attention.” Nah, my dude, pretty sure I’m just fckin’ autistic.
I only want people to leave me alone now. I don’t like having to justify my actions when I’m just trying to enjoy myself.
I hate this so much. People should be free to act like they want (as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone), because why the hell not? What’s so objectively better about acting in the ‘normal’ way? But everything outside the very narrow idea of normal is treated like a problem by default.
I have some tics that come out when I’m alone that I’ve filtered out around others as long as I can remember, and honestly I think that’s part of why I feel so claustrophobic in social situations. I don’t even know how to act like ‘myself’ in public if I want to.
Seeing people being themselves regardless of how it looks to the current typical sensibilities is the only thing that lets me feel like I might be able to do the same. So fwiw, every little bit of rule breaking you have done or will do makes the world a little better for me, and anyone else who doesn’t feel welcome. Thanks.
The difference between weird reactions and no reaction when observing cool bugs is holding a camera
I’ve always been such a child at heart and my soul is bursting with whimsical energy when I see kids playing pretend at the playground next to where I walk my dogs. I’d love to play pretend with them, encourage the children to really let their imaginations run wild and free. I was often lost in my own world as child. I know what it’s like to be so consumed by it. I want to fight the robot king, too!
I’m an adult male however. I would definitely look like a child predator, so I must go on my way.
To all of you guys who enjoy playing pretend, I want to suggest to try playing improv theater. There are often beginner courses and its a kind of slightly guided cooperative make believe. My personal recommendation: try long form Impro and not just short form (which I learned to be the goofier of the two). For me it was very freeing to find an outlet for this stuff where it’s suddenly even cool.
Join a local theatre group
Sounds like you’re still a kid at heart. I’ve got a 2yr old and I immensely enjoy playing these sorts of games with him. My wife always jokes that I’m using the sandbox more than him, she even snapped a couple of pics of me playing alone in there.
What kind of clothes are you talking about? A skirt on a man is still pretty courageous, but if you’re talking about a pink shirt just go for it. You’ll not be judged.
What kind of clothes are you talking about?
Overknee socks, crop tops, tiny shorts, speedos, yoga pants …
I’m perfectly aware that it’s not that others care that’s holding me back but the fact that I care. Doesn’t make it any easier though.
Ayy, speedos gang! May others avert their eyes if they can’t handle me and all my sexiness.
Regarding the original question, while I’m already running around in speedos, I absolutely wouldn’t mind some more colorful clothes, or perhaps some final fantasy/guild wars inspired clothing. Like those outer coats that go all the way to your shoes, but with decorations and stuff. But I feel that the included judging is a commitment I’m not ready for yet.
I’ve been into BDSM stuff since I was a kid basically, but I’ve always been to embarrassed to tell anyone or act on it because it’s some seriously kinky shit.
Local bdsm club
Some people are so weird…
Wear a fanny pack/carry a non-backpack bag as a man.
It’s so convenient to have a bag full of stuff on you. Like I’m out and have a headache, boom Aspirin. At dinner and got some food in your teeth, bam flosser. It’s very satisfying when a situation comes up and you have the exact thing to solve a problem right there in your bag. But a backpack is too big and bulky and anything smaller becomes a purse and this looks down upon for a man to carry.
I only get the courage to wear it when on a trip where I can overly justify it. Like hiking, or a theme park or convention. I feel like if it was an everyday thing I’d have to explain it or hear about it more than I’d want to.
I honestly never realized how much of af my stepdad did not give until much later. As a diabetic he would wear a fanny pack with his insulin, needless, and extra sugar drop candy in case his sugars dropped. This was before pumps were a thing. He would also wear bike shorts, slip on shoes with socks, a regular white t-shirt and a flannel as an outfit with the fanny pack. Oh and also transition lenses. The thing about the bike shorts is that his legs look like an eldritch horror because diabetics don’t heal very quickly when they get a scrape or cut. He also kind of looks like Dale from King of the hill.
If you can pull it off, even a dress can be manly
Get a cross body sling, One of those travel digital nomad things. The brand ones aren’t cheap but it’s like somewhat fashionable. Maybe that could work?
I see more and more men wearing fanny-pack-like crossbody bags where I am (Holland). Hopefully it will start catching on in your area!
I’m in Portland, OR and I see them a ton!
Breaking my very long period of unplanned celibacy.
I think I could get laid, but I’m worried I wouldn’t perform well in bed and that I’d be shamed for it.
Hookers and blow
I think I could get laid, but I’m worried I wouldn’t perform well in bed and that I’d be shamed for it.
You’d be surprised how many people are totally willing to work with you on something like that.
Not at my age.
are you really old or really young? Either way, I know I was always willing to work with whoever I was seeing even if they couldn’t perform like they want to.
That’s good of you. My ex wouldn’t acknowledge the existence of any problems at all. Like, our sex sucked, and she said it was great, then went and cheated.
If she’d done what you do — acknowledge and help tackle the problem — it could have been awesome. But she just refused to acknowledge anything was wrong.
Your approach says “You’re not there but you can get there”.
Her approach said “You’re hopeless”.
Before that relationship my confidence was fine and I was fine too. It really did a number on my head to have her lie to me about something so important.
That’s good of you. My ex wouldn’t acknowledge the existence of any problems at all. Like, our sex sucked, and she said it was great, then went and cheated.
That’s terrible and I know what you mean. I have had two different guys cheat on me cause they never really liked me to begin with.
And yeah, its so hard to trust anyone now because so many people come off as liars. Especially after being lied to about something so personal.
One little bit at a time. Godspeed in healing your trust!
thanks!
I’d be more comfortable with physical contact. I’m NB, but most people still perceive me and treat me as a man (even though I’ve said many times that I’m not) and that comes with the stigma of keeping distance.
I also love to play with LEGOs, it’s kind of therapeutical I guess. It’s just me, talking about random things. It’s the same with videogames, I mostly play RPGs, but it isn’t as “weird”.
Pretty much that last paragraph of yours.
I don’t care if people see me as childish, weird, or even dumb. I do lots of things that make me seem all of those things.
But that makes me hesitate for some reason.
May i ask what kind of clothes you mean?
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