These monkeys went bananas: 40 monkeys escaped from a research facility in South Carolina, and local authorities on Wednesday warned residents to stay away.
“Residents are strongly advised to keep doors and windows secured to prevent these animals from entering homes,” the Yemassee police department said on Facebook this week. “If you spot any of the escaped animals, please contact 911 immediately and refrain from approaching them.”
The monkeys that absconded were from the Alpha Genesis research center, which bills itself as “primate research specialists”. Police said that they have set up traps around the area and are “utilizing thermal imaging cameras in an attempt to locate the animals”.
“Escaped research monkeys” isn’t even that creative of a start to a sci-fi or horror movie. It’s so cliche I can’t believe it happened
Let me guess, the research facility was studying primate intelligence devwlopement. Or rabies. Yawn.
I’m beginning to think reality is not guided purely by random chance or by an all knowing creator, but by a handful of adversarial scriptwriters trying to make a black comedy.