I’ve been lurking on Bsky, a new replacement for social media, and women seem to be entirely uninterested in talking to men in most cases. They’ll say that things like they’re looking for new female friends, they love seeing beautiful women in their feed, they reply to other women who comment on their posts… But they tend to ignore men entirely. Even if a guy is just being platonic or speaking in a similar manner to a woman, they’re completely ignored. To test this, I changed my profile picture to that of a female anime avatar but I didn’t change my tone or manner of speaking at all. All of a sudden, I had people replying to me, saying nice things, being responsive to me. It’s like they assumed I was female, so I was ok to respond to.

Why do women avoid men so much?

  • Kaboom@reddthat.com
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    9 days ago

    It’s just social media my friend. I wouldn’t worry about it, people act weird on the Internet

  • lurch (he/him)@sh.itjust.works
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    9 days ago

    I was briefly on Bluesky and I had women follow me. I don’t remember if interacted with women otherwise. I didn’t care much about peoples gender, just remember the followers, because it were surprisingly many. I didn’t expect any at all.

    • DuckWrangler9000@lemmy.worldOP
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      9 days ago

      tbh I hate interacting with other men online especially on bsky because they’re creeps, and I’ve always been a very not-creepy normal guy. I get along very well with other people irl and see other men just saying the creepiest stuff. like for example a guy gif reacts to a selfie a woman posts that says “step on me” like ew. Women seem to offer much more engaging and real conversations with dimension and depth

      • SolOrion@sh.itjust.works
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        9 days ago

        It sounds like you’re looking for deep meaningful conversation in the comments of thirst trap posts. Which is wild.

      • 211@sopuli.xyz
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        9 days ago

        Well, if you’re for real, you pretty much answered your own question there. Many guys online are creeps, and you’d prefer to talk with women rather than try to find the golden fun normal person in a haystack of men.

      • Ceedoestrees@lemmy.world
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        9 days ago

        Not creepy, normal guys don’t feel the need to point out how not creepy and normal they are.

        Not creepy, normal guys don’t wonder why women don’t talk to them.

        Not creepy, normal guys don’t treat women as a monolith.

        We don’t all share a goddamn hivemind, sending out weekly fliers on hot topics and who we’re ignoring on the internet today.

        You talk like someone I would avoid.

  • CTDummy@lemm.ee
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    9 days ago

    Given a non insignificant amount of women migrated to Bluesky because of thinly veiled threats of SA from xitter; meeting strange blokes online probably isn’t high on the “must do” list. Hell even without the xitter shitfight that probably holds.

    Even if a guy is just being platonic or speaking in a similar manner to a woman

    This probably comes from a life with no shortage of blokes trying to get their foot in the door under the guise of “friendship”.

    • DuckWrangler9000@lemmy.worldOP
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      9 days ago

      This probably comes from a life with no shortage of blokes trying to get their foot in the door under the guise of “friendship”.

      So if a guy talks plainly and non-aggressively, like a normal and rational person with no insensitive comments or uncomfortable flirting… They can’t be friends? I guess that’s my confusion. I remember the world when I grew up being a bit more simple.

      • azulavoir@sh.itjust.works
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        9 days ago

        They can, once the two meet. But the women are often in situations where nine other men have seemed to be doing that, then got creepy. So for their safety they don’t engage.

      • Kanzar@sh.itjust.works
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        9 days ago

        Not when all your other mates all tried the same thing, then flipped completely.

        The world when you grew up was filled with men doing this exact thing, the concept of the friend zone has been around forever and even before that, women didn’t really have a choice.

        Plenty of men who didn’t take no for an answer, and wore down the woman until they said yes.

  • Hubi@feddit.org
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    9 days ago

    Joke’s on you, all the users with female avatars are just men desperately trying to talk to women on Bluesky.

  • NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world
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    9 days ago

    Even if a guy is just being platonic or speaking in a similar manner to a woman

    Tell me that you are a guy, and from a western culture, without telling me… 🤫

    Tip:

    Try talking to them like a traditional Oriental man would. Always overly respectful, generous, courteous…

    Watch them all melt down like caramel cookies. Even if they won’t go to bed with you. 😉

  • ⓝⓞ🅞🅝🅔@lemmy.ca
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    9 days ago

    Perhaps you might benefit from some inward reflection? Presuming your observations to be accurate, why does it bother you? If women had good reason, or any reason, to distrust or avoid men, how would that change how you interact with them? What drives you to seek the kinds of interactions with women that your desiring? Is there anything in how you speak with women that might not be very inviting to further conversation?

    The internet is a funny place. People are very often not who they seem to be. Usernames and avatars often portray a person in a way that mismatches the person behind the keyboard. Even when people use their real name and a true photo, they can end up being very different than who you might think. This happens in everyday life, including face to face IRL relationships?

    What are you looking for in such interactions, DuckWrangler? Does it align with what they are hoping for?

    When women read your post here, how might they perceive what you’ve written? Would they be put off? Why? Do the presumptions bother them? Do they sense entitlement that puts them off? Do they sense someone with ulterior motives? Again, why?

    • Tiefling IRL@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      9 days ago

      When women read your post here, how might they perceive what you’ve written? Would they be put off? Why? Do the presumptions bother them? Do they sense entitlement that puts them off? Do they sense someone with ulterior motives? Again, why?

      Yes. This reads of an entitled “nice dude” with ulterior motives. The kind who DMs “hey”

    • jack_x@lemmy.world
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      9 days ago

      These are the questions you need to ask yourself. The issue here isn’t women, they’re not a hive-minded conglomerate.

  • warm@kbin.earth
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    9 days ago

    Because a lot of guys online are fucking creeps who want relationships and not just friendships.

  • 1984@lemmy.today
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    9 days ago

    After hearing about younger colleagues how hard it is to date today, I started looking at what people on YouTube way about it.

    Basically social media made it possible for women to have hundreds of interested guys standing by, so they are happy and don’t need to talk to random men anymore.

    • Nollij@sopuli.xyz
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      9 days ago

      Unless women have taken a very sharp turn towards hookups, or polygamy, that’s only a partial explanation. The desirable men are still taken, just as before.

      I presume your younger colleagues are all men, and of the segment that does poorly with women. Try asking women about their perspectives on the matter. I promise you’ll get a different answer.

    • Ceedoestrees@lemmy.world
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      9 days ago

      Oh yeah you got us. It’s a conspiracy. We all sit upon our mountains of unsolicited dick pics, passing along tidbits of affection to our harems of beta males in return for money and favors. Committed, sexual relationships are a childish male fantasy compared to everlasting detachment of the dick throne.

      • 1984@lemmy.today
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        9 days ago

        Made me lol :) OK so what’s your theory? It’s easy to criticize the answers of someone without putting your own two cents in.

        • Ceedoestrees@lemmy.world
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          8 days ago

          What answer? Oh, you mean that string of words you just sorta regurgitated from some echoing pit of men who furiously agree with each other on the internet? Yep, pretty easy to criticize that.

  • jack_x@lemmy.world
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    9 days ago

    My experience is the opposite of yours. Most of the replies to comments I make are women, and I’ve had some nice discussions with them. I’m male, and have my face as my picture currently.

      • jack_x@lemmy.world
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        9 days ago

        I’m average, I’d say. My partner says otherwise, but she’s biased. I haven’t always had my face on there though and the previous picture was of a road. I’m sure there’s a bias based on perceived attractiveness, but I really don’t think that has much to do with the level, or quality, of the interactions I’ve experienced.

  • MrJameGumb@lemmy.world
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    9 days ago

    It’s a social media site, not a dating site so maybe it’s just what they say? Maybe they just want to meet other female friends? Have you never wanted to hang out with just your guy friends and do guy stuff before?

    Maybe they’re just looking to make new friends and don’t want a bunch of thirsty guys hitting on them in their DMs?

  • Nollij@sopuli.xyz
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    9 days ago

    The answer is actually pretty simple. They all used to, at some point. But then they started having bad experiences, and there were clear trends. Now, because of classical conditioning, they avoid those experiences. Is the filter perfect? No, of course not. But it’s good enough.

    TL;DR: Bad men start by talking the same way you do.