The term midlife crisis doesn’t refer to just any crisis, it’s a very specific thing about your identity and achievements and can be financial, but doesn’t have to be. It’s more of a “what have I achieved in life / how do I compare to others” think after about half of your work life is over. If you measure success financially then yeah it might play into the equation but being strapped for cash in your early twenties doesn’t make a midlife crisis.
I’ve heard “quarterlife crisis” used for this before. I think a quarterlife crisis is different in some key ways from a midlife crisis, and it makes some sense to distinguish between the two. I think more than comparison to others’ achievements, these crises have malaise/discontent at their cores. By the time you reach a midlife crisis, it can be extremely hard to make changes that will reinvigorate you: a lot of the time you’re pretty stuck - in that boring job, with that big mortgage, in that “Parents, Inc.” marriage, with those needy kids. When you’re going through a quarterlife crisis, I think it’s that post-college “is this all there is?” doldrums. But at that age there are fewer variables and change might be tough, but still easier because there are fewer people relying on you.
It’s where the partnership is mostly focused on the kids, leaving very little time for the parents to connect. I see this more and more with how heavily scheduled kids are now. Parents have to schlep them from school to sports to playdates to music lessons, etc… it seems so overwhelming. And people don’t seem to use babysitters anymore so it’s rare the parents get adult time together to go out on a date, listen to live music, go dancing, see a movie, etc - just be people in love together and focus on each other. I think time together without the kids is vital to keeping a connection with your partner. Otherwise everything is parenting and logistical planning. You need balance.
The term midlife crisis doesn’t refer to just any crisis, it’s a very specific thing about your identity and achievements and can be financial, but doesn’t have to be. It’s more of a “what have I achieved in life / how do I compare to others” think after about half of your work life is over. If you measure success financially then yeah it might play into the equation but being strapped for cash in your early twenties doesn’t make a midlife crisis.
I’ve heard “quarterlife crisis” used for this before. I think a quarterlife crisis is different in some key ways from a midlife crisis, and it makes some sense to distinguish between the two. I think more than comparison to others’ achievements, these crises have malaise/discontent at their cores. By the time you reach a midlife crisis, it can be extremely hard to make changes that will reinvigorate you: a lot of the time you’re pretty stuck - in that boring job, with that big mortgage, in that “Parents, Inc.” marriage, with those needy kids. When you’re going through a quarterlife crisis, I think it’s that post-college “is this all there is?” doldrums. But at that age there are fewer variables and change might be tough, but still easier because there are fewer people relying on you.
Just based on my observations, anyway.
Just to understand this better, what do you mean by a “Parents, Inc.” marriage?
It’s where the partnership is mostly focused on the kids, leaving very little time for the parents to connect. I see this more and more with how heavily scheduled kids are now. Parents have to schlep them from school to sports to playdates to music lessons, etc… it seems so overwhelming. And people don’t seem to use babysitters anymore so it’s rare the parents get adult time together to go out on a date, listen to live music, go dancing, see a movie, etc - just be people in love together and focus on each other. I think time together without the kids is vital to keeping a connection with your partner. Otherwise everything is parenting and logistical planning. You need balance.