Not to diminish the struggles of those with ADHD, but this is also a thing for neuronormative folks. Society simply tells us all to be brilliant in order to be useful for others. But the problem is that not everyone of us are the same and if we don’t live up to expectations, we also end up disappointing ourselves. So, we try to keep up to please others, neglecting ourselves, and hence leading to burnout.
I’m now one further in the “incapacitated for years” state
Hey, it’s me!
Holy shit it’s my life
Serious questions. If I think this is me, is there any benefit to getting an official diagnosis? And if so, what’s the best/least scammy way to go about it?
It opens up options that your future self may want/need. There are many potential barriers to treatment, you really don’t want to deal with these when you actually need to rely on those services.
Advice depends on location, some systems are harsh. Try to find groups in your area. You will be responsible for your outcome. Health professionals provide guidance and facilitate treatment. Medications can make things easier and enable more reliable behavior, but can be quite user-specific. Professional guidance highly advised.
Try reading this. It’s dense, but extremely informative. https://annas-archive.org/* md5/1a4afb16e9cd8cd7799697ad09c4d08a
Maybe some type of med would improve your quality of life, and they are only available over the counter to folks with diagnosis+prescription. Having a diagnosis might give you a mental framework to to ‘get to work’ on improving the least fun things about it :) , like self help tips n tricks, or maybe working with a psychologist to see what might help you the most.
I will point out that, in the US at least, an official diagnosis isn’t required to get those meds. It’s just a lot easier to be prescribed them with it. I’m not officially diagnosed but I do see a psychiatrist who was willing to try them with no prompting from me.
Ultimately though they didn’t work out because of the impact on my blood pressure, I’m on non-scheduled ADHD meds now that have made a huge difference.
What non-scheduled meds, if you don’t mind me asking? I’ve tried a few supplements, but no luck yet.
Straterra is what I found worked for me. It still needs to be prescribed.
Sooo… where do we go after stage 3? The meds just make me nap a lot :(
living out in the woods, getting dirt on your hands, and learning to work well with feelings again.
Unmedicated, unemployed, and homeless. Like me.
try different meds or take them at a different time of day, many people experience a “crash” when stimulance like adderall or medikinet where off.
I take part of my meds in the afternoon (unless i forget it again…) because that way they where off closer to bed time.
Work with a therapist to improve coping strategies and improve your sleep hygiene. If the meds are making you nap, chances are it’s because they’re allowing you to relax enough to actually rest. Developing habits that help you to sleep better may help (I’m pretty terribad at it myself).
If only we applied ourselves.
I do apply myself from 2-6 am until my eyes are dryaf and wont stay open
I feel like if only I had worked up to my potential, my life wouldn’t be a shambling corpse-to-be.
As it turns out, our potential is really high in a select few categories, and that makes it look to authority figures like we’re good at everything.
me explaining to my family that the only thing I actually know is how to formulate a proper search query
I used to feel that was one thing I was good at. But then the algorithms changed as well as the internet. Now I rarely find what I’m looking for and I die a little each time.
Yeah but that’s not a problem with you or the march of time. Search engines have been effectively ruined.
I’d suggest Ed Zitron’s “better offline” pod or Freya Holmer’s latest YT vid on the topic if you want to hear some will developed arguments on the subject.
No, trying harder doesn’t work for us.
I think that’s the joke. I heard this a lot growing up and it obviously didn’t help.
You must not have heard it enough because I heard it seriously all the time and I’m doing great and like sure I can’t sleep and stuff but I’m totally fine and doing great now as an adult and it’s totally unrelated that I’m not employed and super anxious about literally every moment awake because who knows what’s coming but honestly I’m super fine so not to worry.
(That was so hard to write without punctuation, but that’s how it feels)
I’m deep in phase 2, just building up to phase 3 I think.
ADHD memes do seem to resonate with me, but I’m not sure I experience the deleterious effects to a severe enough extent to really have diagnosable ADHD.
Even if I am, I’m not sure stimulants would be the right way to go, and I’m already doing my best with ADHD style interventions to support productivity et cetera.
Stimulants aren’t the only solution, they’re just the solution with the most obviois results
Stimulants best short term, management strategies and lifestyle changes best long term
Same feelings here
They called us ‘gifted’ to justify our separation from others.
My psychotherapist often say to me (paraphrased) : What is worth doing is worth being done badly.
A thing done imperfectly is better than doing nothing at all.
Actually great advice, I need to brush my teeth
Thanks. I’m going to get out of bed and socialize poorly tonight because of this.
Maybe I’ll report back tomorrow how poorly it went.
I just got back! It went well. I felt awkward half the time, but I got to have some real conversations with some old and new friends.
I have some new friends that I’ve only interacted with in really busy contexts, and it was nice to chat with them in a calmer space. I woulda missed the chance if I didn’t give it a shot tonight.
Good job!
Happy for you partner!
Damn, brb, I’m gonna go put some stuff away even if I don’t know where to put everything
That was pretty good. I finally put away things that have been laying around for over a year.
Oh wow, this hits in a peculiar way
The funniest part is I had the diagnosis as a kid but no one did anything about it. They were just trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I got rediagnosed as an adult and got on medication.
I guess knowing about it meant I didn’t have to spend years trying to figure out why I was considered gifted but couldn’t get shit done.
I got told because I was good as a kid I couldn’t have it. Our system is terrible at actually dealing with the issue.
Crazy part was I only started wondering if I had it after getting prescribed double Sudafed for bad cold/congestion and could suddenly focus
I’ll go for the “Don’t get diagnosed” and “Kill yourself in your 30s” strat.
Same, thou I’m not sure I can wait out the last couple years to 30. Might be fun to have my birthday be my deathday tho
30s give you “Dadbod Multplier”
You uh…ok? It does not sound fun to have your birthday be your death day :(.
Nowhere near it, but haven’t started looking for a place to get a helium or nitrogen tank yet so I call it a win. Tbh I should hurry up so I have more money left to leave to friends and family but I just haven’t been able to get around to it.
Your friends would almost certainly rather have you than any money you would give them.
I mean, sure, but I see them irl maybe once a year, and it’s easy to forget people exist (or existed) when you only interact with them online. I’m always the one reaching out and trying to do things and god knows I’ve let enough friendships vanish by getting sick of it and stopping initiating things and watching them never notice.
I don’t think it’s as easy as you think. It sure isn’t for me. There are a lot of friends I have lost touch with over the years that I think of often. And hope are still around.
At this point it’s just more of a question of when, not if
🤷♀️
Life is both pointless AND miserable and it would be fine if it were just one or the other but I’m just so fucking tired of putting effort into a life that I hate living
Please don’t hurt yourself. You are worthy of love.
Worthy? I can accept that. The problem is my presence in someone’s life would only make theirs worse. Well it would be a problem if I were capable of seeking out a relationship which I’m not. Not even comfortable with hookups anymore. Accepted that love, affection, and intimacy just aren’t for me.
Relationships aren’t for everyone, and that’s fine if its your choice and you are actually happy with it. Regardless, life is worth living. It may not seem like it now (I’ve been there) but I assure you there is a reason you’re here. Keep your head up.
If I start hoping, it’s just gonna make everything hurt more
Yep. But at least my life makes perfect sense now. Everything just seems so clear now.
Nothing quite like the feeling of a dumpster fire coming into perfect focus around you.
I screwed up and am stuck deep in 2. I even screwed up a miraculous way out with this awesome startup. And I was diagnosed in kindergarten! No drugs, I’m healthy, just… Yeah.
I wish I could subscribe to this community over and over.
