my dad specifically has really been feeding into hypermasculine, gun-loving, “true American” MAGA nonsense. I am gay and while he has no issue with me or my partner he continues to align himself with people who do not believe in my right to exist. He didn’t believe Elon did a nazi salute. He said I was listening to the liberal propaganda. Now that trump has pulled out all the stops and continues to implement project 2025, I question whether I can still be in contact with him. Even if he is not (outwardly) rooting on everything, him not condemning what is happening to me seems like he is doubling down on his beliefs.

I am drained mentally and honestly think that he will continue supporting the destruction of this country and the rights of millions all because he idealizes their “alignment” with masculinity, guns, the military, traditions, etc.

How do I approach the topic with him and tell him it’s either me or these beliefs/trump? Is that selfish of me? I know some people say that this will only further the divide but honestly I feel like things now are irreperable and I should not be involved with people who turn a blind eye to fascism.

  • Dorkyd68@lemmy.world
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    7 hours ago

    Tons of people here are going to say yes and that’s your dad is a pos. This is a question with life long implications, that you’re asking strangers. Do you want validation for cutting your dad out of your life? Cause that’s all youll get here. Only you know the answer to this question

  • finitebanjo@lemmy.world
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    15 hours ago

    If you’re capable of sustaining yourself then it would be wrong to maintain contact with that person.

    We’ve experienced the Trump admin before, we’ve seen the news about what he is doing, anybody who still supports that asshole if beyond lost: they’re the enemy.

  • Shelbyeileen@lemmy.world
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    16 hours ago

    Something I’m seeing a lot is the statement “I’m not distancing myself because of political differences, I’m distancing myself because of moral differences”

    Anyone who is happy at the expense of others losing rights, is not different from you politically, they’re different from humanity, as far as basic ethics.

    You’re not selfish. You’re strong. Stronger than me and I’m proud of you for trying to fight to help your dad, but please don’t do it at your own expensive. I’m pan and non-monagamous but buried further in the closet than a cable that “definitely will be useful in the future” because my family would turn on me in a heartbeat.

  • IzzyScissor@lemmy.world
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    17 hours ago

    I should not be involved with people who turn a blind eye to fascism.

    Full stop.

    I’m sorry to say that you already know what you have to do. There’s no easy way to do it other than to just do it. If it makes the process easier, you don’t have to pose it as “it’s me or them” because you already know what his answer will be. If he was going to change, he’s had plenty of opportunities already.

    Don’t wait for him anymore. Live YOUR life.

  • TehWorld@lemmy.world
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    18 hours ago

    My parents are nowhere near as deep in the rabbit hole, but I’m essentially dark on communications with them at this point. Once they have convinced me that they are fighting against the current state of things, I’ll re-engage. Currently they are unaware of this fact, but it won’t be too much longer until they realize that I have no time or desire to interact with them anymore. They will have to choose and I’m at peace with either outcome at this point.

  • CurlyWurlies4All@slrpnk.net
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    18 hours ago

    It sounds like your life will be immeasurably improved by cutting him off. But it’s such an intense, personal decision that I’m not sure any internet stranger could honestly say one way or the other.

  • No_Bark@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    1 day ago

    I believe that if someone is supporting policies that are directly impacting your quality of life/well being you’re well within your rights of cutting that person out and telling them to fuck off.

    This goes beyond “politics”. What kind of garbage person puts the well being of 2 handfuls of rich failsons ahead of their own children? Well, my parents for one, and your dad for another it seems.

    Before cutting them out, I recommend putting it in terms similar to this. Emphasize how they have failed at the basic premise of being a parent by putting their own children’s wellbeing behind that of about a handful of the wealthiest families on the planet with more resources than god. Literally subsidizing these strangers failsons at the expense of their own children.

  • thermal_shock@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Nope, I almost did it, but he stopped pressing my buttons. He thought “grab em by the pussy” was funny, kept talking about trump. Told him the exact same thing I told the ex friend I did cut from my life: I don’t associate with Trump supporters, either cut that shit out or lose my number.

    They have a right to believe what they want, I have a right to distance myself and not speak to them. Their morals are fucked, I will have no part of it.

  • jackeryjoo@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Nope. Do it. I did. It’s rough at first, but it gets better over time.

    You won’t miss him. You’ll miss the idea of who he was, but then you’ll realize he was never the person you grew up believing in/admiring.

    Sometimes you grow up and your dad stays your hero. Other times, you learn he’s a narcissist misogynistic selfish small minded person.

    Cut people like this out of your life.

    • czardestructo@lemmy.world
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      23 hours ago

      You won’t miss him. You’ll miss the idea of who he was

      This hits hard with some personal relationships I lost during COVID because they were anti vaccination. Couldn’t be bothered to care how their decisions affect others, that was ‘their problem’.

  • MerrySkeptic@sh.itjust.works
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    1 day ago

    Do whatever you can live with. That said, you have other options besides all or nothing. You can tell him that it’s taxing to be around him and ask for specific behavioral changes you’d like to see to make things more tolerable. Whether or not he agrees to them is up to him, but you’re at least trying for a workable relationship.

    I emphasize behavioral change because he can’t just flip a switch on his beliefs. No one can. Our beliefs are a conclusion based a number of factors including our experiences, the information we are exposed to, our emotions, etc. He couldn’t switch his off and on any more than you could.

    If you really want to affect his beliefs he will have to feel like you hear and understand them first. Be curious without expressing judgement. If he feels heard he might be more open to reciprocating that feeling and hear you out.

    But you’re not obligated to do that. If you can’t take it then be honest with yourself and take care of you. Just don’t get stuck in black and white thinking

  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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    1 day ago

    No. I ended my relationship with my mother for voting for him a second time. She saw the harm he caused. She knew the harm he would cause to people I love. She is willfully blind to his faults. I can’t tolerate that anymore. Neither should you. Cut the cancer out and don’t look back.