• Franzia@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      1 year ago

      I dont have a social circle, I talk to random people online when I feel like I wanna be social. I was just at the hardware store, looking like queer me, and the cashier was clearly a strong middle-aged white guy. He might politically want me dead. But he was nice enough. I didnt get the fear response activation vibe that he could murder me or wanted to. My name is Franzia, and it is a female name, I’m not a guy.

    • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
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      1 year ago

      You mean like the majority of people?

      Not having someone you can rely on is the exception, not the rule.

      It is a great tool to perpetuate healthy human offspring.

        • Bartsbigbugbag@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          No one owes you a social circle, so no one can deny it to you. Social connections are forged, not given. How can people you’ve never met lie about you? They can’t, by definition. There is absolutely no possibility that you’ve met every person even within your community, much less the world, in order to be able to make that assertion. It sounds like, you’re abusive, and blame it on your prior trauma, and when people don’t accept being abused by you, you claim that they’re liars or narcissists. Nearly everyone has had trauma in their life, many people have had trauma worse than can be imagined without experiencing it, and yet, they don’t become violently angry anti-social assholes.

          Your response to trauma is a choice, and you have made a choice that prevents ever healing and creates further trauma.

            • Bartsbigbugbag@lemmy.ml
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              1 year ago

              There is no such thing as “earning” a social connection. You don’t deserve them, you cannot earn them or buy them or trade them. Again, you forge them. They are a product of mutual vulnerability and compatibility.

              I made my friends from those who others rejected, and it made all of us stronger for it. I specifically seek out those in need and offer myself to them, and those who do not fit in other social circles. None of my friends are like me, we are all very different, with very different lifestyles and goals, and we do not even agree on basic things, yet because we have forged bonds together, no amount of difference can break us apart.

              You assert many intentions to me, which is your right, however, it’s no surprise why you lack bonds when you treat people such and view the world through a warped, transactional point of view. There’s no brownie points in the real world, behaving like a human does not entitle you to friends. It is the bare minimum standard of mutual humanity. You must go farther than that.

              Why do you assume the entire world is telling lies about you? Why do you care what other people say about you? Where are you that you genuinely think most people want to murder and dominate you, and what attempts have you made to relocate to somewhere more amenable to you? Do you find beauty in nature? Do you frequently engage with nature? How many social media accounts do you have? When was the last time you went to a social event by yourself where you know absolutely no one? How much time per day do you spend on self improvement, be it mental or physical? What are your goals for the immediate future? And further out?

              Cheers, my angry friend.

          • Acer@lemm.ee
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            11 months ago

            It sounds like, you’re abusive, and blame it on your prior trauma, and when people don’t accept being abused by you, you claim that they’re liars or narcissists.

            I’ve had a friend like that. It was hard cutting her off, but in the end our whole social circle agreed that was the right thing to do after enduring so much of her abuse over the years. She was crazy manipulative and always the victim, just like this dude.