Several months ago Beehaw received a report about CSAM (i.e. Child Sexual Abuse Material). As an admin, I had to investigate this in order to verify and take the next steps. This was the first time in my life that I had ever seen images such as these. Not to go into great detail, but the images were of a very young child performing sexual acts with an adult.

The explicit nature of these images, the gut-wrenching shock and horror, the disgust and helplessness were very overwhelming to me. Those images are burnt into my mind and I would love to get rid of them but I don’t know how or if it is possible. Maybe time will take them out of my mind.

In my strong opinion, Beehaw must seek a platform where NO ONE will ever have to see these types of images. A software platform that makes it nearly impossible for Beehaw to host, in any way, CSAM.

If the other admins want to give their opinions about this, then I am all ears.

I, simply, cannot move forward with the Beehaw project unless this is one of our top priorities when choosing where we are going to go.

  • liv@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    I just want to say, I am so so so sorry you had to see that.

    I accidentally saw some CSAM in the 1990s and you are right, it is burnt into your mind. It’s the real limit case of “what has been seen cannot be unseen” - all I could do was learn to avoid accessing those memories.

    If you can access counselling for this, that might be a good option. Vicarious trauma is a real phenomenon.

    • Chris Remington@beehaw.orgOP
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      1 year ago

      If you can access counselling for this, that might be a good option. Vicarious trauma is a real phenomenon.

      Thank you for the advice. I’m not sure that I’ll need counseling but I’m open to it if need be. Time will tell.

      • loops@beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        Be sure to keep tabs on yourself, sometimes these things can really sneak up on you.