What’s your positive examples of men, fathers, friends, work colleagues, brothers, etc where they were or are emotionally available?
I feel in todays’ society, men are pressured to fit into this image of having to be emotionless. Thus most of us grow up in empty homes with emotionally absent fathers. That sucks and I don’t want my kids to have to suffer such such
I won’t reply probably but I’m interested in your answers. Thanks in advance!
PS;nsfw
Also, this is why I often would indulge in watching porn - because I crave emotional connection/availability. But I don’t need to have my mind cluttered with these images and so, hence I want to practice being emotionally self-aware, present and safe
Don’t listen to macho guys that say you can’t be a man if you do x/y/z. And emotionally mature and available man can enjoy anything he likes because he is secure in how he feels. When you are on the other side of things you’ll look at those macho types and see their machismo as bravado to cover what can only amount to insecurities. They are sad cases honestly and I feel pity for their situation.
Go do something that would make you emotionally uncomfortable and let yourself feel every bit of that discomfort.
Basically it takes practice and stopping yourself from stopping yourself. Putting yourself in situations to feel and then sitting with the feeling instead of running from it. Contemplate it, think about it, let it be part of you.
And if you can, find a friend that’s emotional aware and available as a role model to emulate.
For your kids, let them feel their feelings and do your best to not invalidate those feelings. Feelings are valid, it’s how we handle them that makes or breaks us. It’s fine to feel anger and sadness just as it’s fine to feel happiness and joy, but we don’t lash out in anger, and we don’t let our sadness wash us away.
I had a big long thing typed out, but I erased a lot and I think this is the core of it.