• Papanca@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    For me it was the opposite. I remember one day, when i had only one very young child, that i sounded like my mother. That was the incentive to turn it around. It was hard work and there was no internet yet to give me advice.

    Also, when my kids were in their teens i found it very helpful when i read a brochure about triple p parenting. I could not join them for a course, but the tip that changed a lot was; complimenting my kids instead *for good behavior *of berating them when they did something that was not ‘good’. The results were really good and i felt happier in the process, because it was much nicer to compliment my kids instead of hearing yourself being annoyed when they did something ‘bad’.

    Edited to add a clarification, in italics

    • Hermano@feddit.de
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      1 year ago

      I’m not sure I get it, maybe because I’m not a native speaker. So you said something like ‘Great job buddy, that was very much not good!’?

      • toadster@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        Praise vs criticism. So on balance more noticing and complimenting of the good they do, over criticizing their bad actions. Actually a lot more effective than criticism, in fact some schools purposefully ignore bad behaviour (within reason) while emphasizing praise for good behaviour.

    • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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      1 year ago

      My kids are quite young still but I’ve been using a philosophy of both carrot and stick with my threenager and toddler. Reward good behavior first, punish bad behavior when that doesn’t work