In recent weeks I have met a pretty and sweet girl with what I consider her only biggest problem: her IQ. She is slow, does not remember things and has no concentration at all, has no arguments, systematically repeats the usual twenty words. (A bit like the character of Forrest Gump, for those who do not know what low iq means). I feel like I like it to go deeper, but I wonder if it’s not a mistake. Do you have similar experiences?
A lesson that took me a long time to learn, and at terrible personal cost, is that being smart doesn’t matter very much. I was good at academic stuff as a kid, so tons of adults told me that was the most important thing ever, and I’ve come to realize that was wrong of them.
Let’s say, as a fictional example, that I’m top 1% of the population in terms of some abstract measure of intelligence (IQ is an awful one, but let’s not get caught up on that). If no one values time spent with people on a lower rung, not only can I not spend time with the people below me on the curve, but people higher won’t spend time with me. That gives me such a tiny fraction of the population I can interact with, it’s absurd! Meanwhile, people smarter than me are still common enough that I’d encounter several a day – I’m hardly exceptional enough to be terribly important. What a lonely life that would be!
So three further lessons I’ve learned, and I think these are important, go something like this:
- Intellectual challenges are not scarce. They are a dime a dozen, I can invent them myself inside my head, or pick any number of other problems online. Sometimes I can get paid to solve them, whatever. So I don’t need more people to give me those. What’s really valuable are the people that challenge you to grow, to become more. It doesn’t take intelligence to look you in the eyes when you’re being a smartass, and ask you “Do you want to be right, or helpful?”.
- Better to look for (and learn from) people who are kind and wise than who are smart. The opposite of a great truth is another great truth, the opposite of wisdom and kindness are substantially less desirable.
- The harshest lessons in life are always when you trust the wrong person. Harsher still, is when this person was yourself. So it’s wise to enter all relationships carefully – with respect, I don’t think the fact you are thinking about this beforehand is wrong, but your focus might be misplaced. I’m just a stranger on the Internet though.
Better to look for (and learn from) people who are kind and wise than who are smart. The opposite of a great truth is another great truth, the opposite of wisdom and kindness are substantially less desirable.
I used to think being an asshole was justified if could back it up with the reasoning required to demonstrate you were actually better at reasoning than others.
Then I grew up and had to deal with those folks (and was exposed to Ben Shapiro). Good reasoning is useful in certain circumstances. Much, much better to invest in emotional intelligence and developing the ability to care about other people than not.
Your point 2 should be universal wisdom.
If only that there were such a thing :D
If you really have to ask such things on the Internet, I really wonder who should ask about whom here.
Better leave her be. If you feel that vastly intelectually superior, that relationship would be purely based on mere looks and your physical attraction. What are you? 12? No offence meant.
If the conversations aren’t satisfying there’s no substitute for that
One of my few friends has an intelligent quotient that is just above the lower limit for regularity. You can kind of see it, not in a forest gump way but a kind of absent-minded way, having a good memory but not much else. That doesn’t change much though; with his compassion, exceptional specialties, and surprising cunning, you would only notice if you put him outside his comfort zone. He’s also trustworthy as a result of his shortcomings, if you want to include a benefit in there.
“If intelligence is the size of a glass, knowledge is how much liquid you fill in it, and wisdom is what liquid you choose, what do you care about more? Choose wisely.” ~ Him, just now
Go for it, she seems like she’s on your level.
Maybe she can even teach you not to make life decisions based on fascist pseudoscience.
But with great respect, the question isn’t about a supposed measured level of IQ. OP is just saying “she don’t seem all that smart, guv’nor” and use the term IQ as a short hand for this. I doubt OP has sat down and asked this girl to do an official IQ test. Not sure why this immediately has to descend into a discussion about fascism and white supremacy.
“dude, why do you have to make everything about race??”
No that’s not what I said. Specifically, it is not a secret to me or her an official disability certification by doctors that concerns a low intelective quotient, it is not the banality that many users have understood as an offence, here we talk about disability.
Fascist? I thought IQ testing was designed around the apolitical flavour of white supremacy.
IQ was made to find out who the worst-performing student in a class was, and then immediately became about deciding who to sterilize.
Use in a classroom setting is questionable enough as is, but when applied in a general sense to other things, that’s fascist pseudoscience.
I always feel like whenever somebody is making the specific point that they are so much smarter compared to somebody else they are just boasting their own trumpet.
Maybe you are smarter, Maybe you are not. Who cares? Are you developed on an emotional level to a point where you can deal with both so called smart and so called dumb people?
If you stop thinking about how smart people around you are and start working with them you’ll learn to get around through life.
If you like the girl, go for it. If you think she is not smart enough, let her go. But always respect people, because that is what they will remember about you.
And I personally learned that everyone you meet has the potential to surprise you because they think just a little different. Enjoy the variety, enjoy the challenge of communicating what you mean on different levels.
Reddit moment
It’s kinda unrelated to your question but actually IQ have no much link with intelligence.
To come back to your question idk. I can’t give relationship advices, but it’s always interesting to learn to know peoples deeper especially if she really is that different of peoples you know.
Maybe you can give it a shot or try to befriend her instead. Again I’m misplaced to give relationship advices, just see these as ideas, maybe bad maybe good.
IQ doesn’t real, 5head.
