welcome to beehaw!!

thank you for letting me know. reddit was my first exposure to linux communities and I did get that vibe. but people have been nice here (even when I was talking about my “baby’s first self hosting” experiences) and I appreciate that the community is usually good about answering questions. as soon as my desktop is back and functioning, I’m going to be installing a dual boot with linux and windows 10.

what kind of plants are you working with? I have a couple of my own, and I’ve found the planting and gardening community here very friendly too. I currently have lavender (most recent addition), aloe and haworthia.

for video games, I assume? correct me if I’m wrong! if so, I really enjoy seeing people do off the wall stuff myself, even if I’m not terribly good at it anymore. I’ve been delving into Caves of Qud recently and seeing videos of people doing different builds is really cool.

thank you so much!

I really appreciate the admins for making such a good space. and for you saying that, I really enjoy being here. I’ll be making some new threads soon!

mine is actually something I learned about in therapy. wet a washcloth with cold water, then put ice cubes in it. there are various places you can put it to cool down (inner part of your elbow, neck, lower back, etc.) but the first one I was taught was actually the pulse point under your chin, because it also serves a purpose of calming you down. if you’re angry or anxious, it might help, on top of cooling you off.

a second thing that I’ve done is, before bed, putting my comforter and/or my pillowcase in the freezer. only really works depending on size of the freezer and comforter, though.

I had a lot of responses to one of my more recent posts asking about linux distros, which was really nice and interesting to see what people said. I’ll keep that in mind for future posts, thank you for the reply!

it’s not honestly a beehaw issue, if that helps! I’m just a very anxious and insecure person in general, and I very rarely have engaged in online spaces. beehaw has been the first place I’ve felt safe enough to start trying to, after a series of bad discord servers.

y’all have a lovely place here, and I’m happy to be along for it!

but I feel like I should be doing better.

I have these kinds of thoughts often. but it’s not a good way to think about things, as in, at least it’s always been damaging to me. you shouldn’t invalidate your own feelings. if you’re not doing “better,” that’s okay. you don’t have to be perfect just because nothing catastrophic happened. or because you feel like if you pushed yourself harder things would be significantly better.

procrastination is never for no reason, and as you said, you feel like a lot is at stake. you have a lot going on! and unfortunately, no one has instructions that will make the nebulous “don’t get it wrong” voice go away. it sucks. I know that feeling, and I empathize.

what’s helped me is to sit down, preferably with someone I trust and who respects my emotions, and make a little “plan.” not a full one where I have x, y, and z plus an emergency one, but just something that will make me feel like the world isn’t going to crash down around me at any moment. for example, I had to sort out with my partner what we would do if amazon rejected a return I made because money is tight. even just knowing the future isn’t a mysterious void had helped me.

additionally, my only safe space is also my room where I live. I don’t know what your living space looks like, but things that have helped me is buying something small to decorate it and make it feel more like my own, possibly getting a small living plant (I have aloe and haworthia, they’re very easy to take care of and it sparks a little joy when I see them growing), or even just tidying up a bit, or moving things around so that they’re not in the exact same place. when I feel claustrophobic and confined to my room, I try to go on walks (weather permitting!) to remind myself there is space that is safe outside of the house. listening to music or podcasts helps me too, if that’s something you also like. I try for at least twice a week and find myself walking more than expected because it’s nice to have that break.

I wish you good luck on the cake! and apologies if none of this helps. I just feel like our situations have some things in common and wanted to reach out with what solutions I have for myself.

I hope things get easier for you soon!

welp, time to explain why I don’t have a desktop after my post two weeks ago that I had to put new parts in.

the short version is that the motherboard’s AMD bracket was covered mostly by a plastic piece that said “REMOVE” so I did that, but it wasn’t clear that I was supposed to put it back on. ultimately when I kept trying to put things together and they didn’t work, some of the motherboard’s CPU pins got crushed, and now I have to hope I can get another. I’m trying to return it to amazon and use the money for a second one, but we’ll see how that goes. the CPU itself might be damaged too, it’s not clear, and I have no way of testing it without the motherboard. I feel really dumb for not knowing that the bracket was supposed to go there. and I can’t just buy a new one right now because being on disability sucks.

originally I thought it had been the RAM since I was told the motherboard was finnicky with it, but I had to take two sets of it back after I found out it was the motherboard. thankfully my cousin looked at it and is willing to put things together for me again. it’s just waiting on amazon is killing me. I spend a lot of time at my desktop (especially because it’s going to be over 90 degrees here for a while) and my laptop is a low end gaming one from 6 years ago. it can’t run much, including my favorite game, although I can play it for very short periods of time. I broke out my nintendo switch to play, but that’s not helping the depression too much.

some issues with my partner popped up, as well as some with my mother, and I just don’t feel great. been trying to do what I can for that (like making some posts here) but it’s a battle and I wish I didn’t have to have it. I hope the week improves but I’m just tired already.

I didn’t particularly like the layout styling in Pop!_OS and being so new to linux, I didn’t know how much I could change aesthetics wise. KDE looks more appealing to me, I don’t know if it’s because it looks like windows, but that might be a factor? it’s the default on the distro I wanna give a try (Bazzite) which also has nudged me in that direction.

I wasn’t expecting so many people to have used Debian for things other than servers. I have it on a server myself, but I decided I needed something more set up for gaming already on my desktop. what led you to Debian specifically? the stability?

I’m late but I really wish more people knew what a “queer platonic partner” relationship was.

I usually just use “partner” for my QPP because it’s easier than to even briefly explain, but just because I’m asexual aromantic doesn’t mean I don’t want a relationship that “stands out” more than the others. and just because I do, doesn’t mean every ace/aro person does! there’s so much nuance to the LGBTQ+ community and I think people forget that a lot and choose to isolate to their spot in the acronym.

a QPP isn’t someone you’re dating, and I’m really tired of people talking about my “girlfriend” (because let’s also ignore that they’re non-binary!) alternative relationships exist to the typical “path” and assumptions plus choosing to not learn is really damaging. and that goes for every LGBTQ+ topic. or, hell, the nuance to every individual person.

I just want to drop a link to queer platonic relationships specifically, too.

this is actually what I’m going to be giving a go! I have very little experience (I have servers that run Debian and DietPi, but I get help with those) with linux but I’m really excited to give the KDE version a try. and I’ve been trying to learn, too, because also my partner is going to be moving to a dual boot setup as well. been watching a lot of videos and reading a lot too, especially while my desktop is out of commission.

do you find that anything is missing in Bazzite for you?

in all honesty, I don’t really want to have to spend all my time blocking and curating when I just want to contribute when I can. I usually don’t visit a ton of other lemmy instances, and the ones I do I don’t really comment in, either. maybe I’m overly anxious and skittish, but at the same time, I’m 1) very much already tired and don’t want to spend a ton of time curating a block list and 2) just trying to find a community to fit in where I’m comfortable.

I know I’m not the most active by far, but I don’t want this community to open up just so we can have more content. more content to me doesn’t always equal good content, I guess.

came from reddit here, too. I often am too anxious to comment for a variety of reasons, so I mostly read. I try to post things when I get the courage to.

thank you so much!! did you build a pc for just everyday use or are you a gamer as well? and thank you for the tips! I have everything now and I’m just waiting for my partner to not be busy so that hopefully today I can video call them and we’ll do it together. they’ve been working on computers since they were 14, so, they’ll be a lot of help! I’m replacing the motherboard, ram, cpu, and cpu cooler (and a fan hub but that’s less important) so I have to strip everything out and start over, hahaha.

always nice seeing you around!

In our case, my partner’s desktop had broken down completely (they later ended up with parts from my ex’s computer that they could use to fix the issues) a while ago, and they had to use a very old laptop as well. I’m a really avid gamer and I’m learning to code, plus I stream for my partner everything from videos, to movies, to video games. Plus we play together. So I feel you!

Currently the remaining parts will be here Friday and then I have to figure out how to put them in. I didn’t build my current desktop and have only done small things in it so far. There’s also wiping things clean for the dual boot, and to help ensure the issues hopefully clear up on the software end. I did at least enjoy learning about different Linux distros.

Thank you for this message! It made me feel a bit better.

Having a rough one, unfortunately.

Power went out today, but it’s not just us so I think that’s at least promising that we don’t have to have an electrician come out and fix something.

Currently struggling with a lot of anxiety over my computer. I spend a lot of time on it and I love playing video games, plus my queer platonic partner is long distance. But it’s showing a lot of issues and some of the parts are really old, so I want to replace them. Gotta find the money for that somehow. I’m hoping to start fresh on it and wipe everything plus dual boot windows with pop!_os. I had already installed both before but starting anew sounds like a good idea.

I barely know how to use linux but I have a server so that’s helped me understand more, at least. I’d swap completely but one of the games I love demands windows because of anti-cheat.

Birthday was as good as it could be. People close to me put in a lot of effort to make it nice, but trauma always comes in swinging. But it was nicer than other years have been, I’ll count it as a win.

so mine is kind of situational, but while I have a really hard time taking care of myself, I’m always able to get up and do things for my dogs. they need to be let out, shown affection (which is also good for depression!), fed, etc. it helps that they like to lay in bed with me and are very forgiving when it comes to timing on, say, when they’re fed.

honestly I just think having something to care for in these situations can be very helpful, but it also depends on the person.

I don’t talk here but I am a user and this community has helped me a whole hell of a lot. I’ll see if I can get a donation heading your way when I next get paid! thanks for your hard work.

why no hope for Revolt? I had looked into it self hosting wise, but when I realized they had made it really difficult, I lost interest and haven’t been following it since.

welcome! what kind of video essays, if I can ask?