Thank you. I don’t have notes handy, but my deadlift was around 360 lbs. for 8-12 when I was last training it directly. A few health-related issues have sidelined my lifting for a couple months (post-cancer life sucks sometimes), but I am cleared to get back into the gym next week!
My legs are where I really shine, with my calculated one rep max for the sled press up in the mid 800s and working sets in the 600s. That is my lift where people stop and look twice.
It does not appear that you are really listening to others to do much as commenting pithy things, and I am not sure if you have some specific reason for this or if you are just picking fights.
But let’s still break this down. Literally no one here is talking about celebrating morbid obesity. That is pretty much a straw man at this point.
Morbidly obese people should be able to look in the mirror and think to themselves, “I look good today!” They should be allowed to go out without worry that someone will make fun of them. They should be able to go to the doctor and be heard instead of the doctor assuming every health problem is only caused by obesity.
If you disagree with the above statements, please be very clear as to why. Everybody deserves quality medical care from their physician. Everybody deserves to not hate themselves. Everybody deserves to not be kicked for their appearance.
No one is saying, “Woo-hoo! Try to be so fat it harms your health!” I would suggest you read up on the science of weight loss and why so many little are obese these days. There is not universal consensus, but there is general agreement that the deck is highly stacked against many people, and extra body fat is not a simple condition to deal with in many circumstances.
People should try to lead the healthiest lifestyle they are reasonably able. No one is stating otherwise.
I think that you have internalized a version of body positivity that lies on the most extreme end of what is meant by that phrase. Body positivity - be comfortable with who you are and do not put down on others due to their body.
The odds are that I am significantly fatter than you. The odds also favor that I am significantly stronger than you, even if you lift weights. I can also probably walk all day much farther than you can.
Would it be healthier if I lose body fat? Absolutely. Have I tried for 20 years to do that? Yes. I am not ignorant regarding nutrition. I am not lazy. I am not overall lacking willpower. I am fat but otherwise healthy.
Body positively means that my doctor treats my body fat as what it is - one aspect of my overall health. He does not assume that every problem I have is because I am fat, even though changing that would improve some aspects of my health.
Body positively also means that I am not going to hide when I go to the beach. I am going to go shirtless and enjoy myself. If you do not find me sexually attractive, that is fine. If you are going to shame or mock me for my body fat, then you are an asshole. If I catch wind of you mocking me, I will quietly estimate how many times your bodyweight I will deadlift on Monday. If you choose to mock the scars that cover parts of my body from extreme, life-saving surgery, I may feel the need to firmly educate you on exactly what sort of asshole you are.
Body positively often conjures the image of a morbidly obese girl on OnlyFans who lets people pay to watch her binge and intentionally get fatter while she says being purposefully inactive is just as healthy as hitting the gym. The real versions of that person are extremely rare, but their radicalism, vociferous nature, and platform make their voices much louder in comparison. Their argument is also easy to find flaw with and mock, so they get used as if they are a typical example of body positivity.
You are right in that the woman I describe above needs help and is not behaving in a safe or healthy way. I also understand why you might think that is the norm. She is not, though, and I would encourage you to look deeper at the meaning of the “movement.”
The “you” above is generic and based on broad assumptions. You, the reader, might be stronger than me and have way more endurance than me. You also might be fatter than I am. The odds are very good that you are also not an asshole. My point was to call out variances from the norm as convenient examples, of which I have plenty in both directions.
For those who are truly into etiquette, we understand that it is a gift we give to others and hope they will choose to return in kind. It is actually extremely poor etiquette to point out the missteps of others. The superior you unfortunately had to deal with was an asshole. Being an asshole is pretty much never appropriate.
I stand to greet others because it shows them respect and maybe because I am a little old fashioned. I take off my hat in private spaces for the same reason. I also know enough etiquette to know that modern hat customs have been modified because they are more of a fashion piece now than a protective garment. Hats have different rules when their primary purpose is to be an accessory.
Do you know what I do when someone gets etiquette “wrong?” Nothing! It is rude to police others. The most someone should do is to gently steer others away from a faux pas if it would likely cause them embarrassment or future difficulty.
I think what I really want to write is that I am sorry etiquette has been used as a social bludgeon against you. Good etiquette should feel seamless and unobtrusive. Formality can be lovely, and instead it has been a bad experience for you. That sucks.
Edit to add: I am really talking about classic English/American etiquette. I am in no place to comment on things like the etiquette in many Asian nations. I know some of the customs, but little of the nuance that goes into them.
I am angry at how clever this is. Well done.
No, this was just from general wear over time. It would be less bad if we threw it away at the first sign of wear, but that felt wasteful. Why ditch a sponge with a little wear on one side when the rest remains fine? Now we know.
This is where I am going to get on my soap box (pun intended) and castigate the entire Scrub family.
When snaking my shower drain, I get to go pretty dang far down to remove a clog. I was easily to the point point where my kitchen sink joined the drain line. Among the last things I pulled out were several Scrub Daddy chunks of good size. Can I be sure that these caused the clog? No. Am I sure these could screw up my septic pump or cause clogs even further down? Absolutely.
The chunks these sponges shed can wreck havoc on your drain system. It’s not worth it for a tool that cleans no better than a dish rag and a stiff bristle brush. Those actually clean better, last longer, and are more environmentally friendly.
I want to love Scrub Daddy. I just cannot afford the aggravation and potential cost they bring with them as they break down.
Wow, I am in good company
You know it. I hope it is as fun as it looks to be.
This is the best thing about having kids as they get a little older. I put one gift under the tree labeled, “To: Billy and Dad; From: Dad.” My wife wants nothing to do with a 2-player historic war board game about the battle of Stalingrad and the difficult choices commanders must make. My oldest, 11-years, loves military history and war games. I could not lie, though. I was buying it for me and not just for him.
It is not so much about people wanting to be in a traditional relationship. I understand wanting that. The tradwife TikTok trend is more than that, though. It sells a fantasy under the illusion of reality.
Man as leader and breadwinner with woman as homemaker and primary caregiver for the children? That is great if it works for the partnership! The problem is that the content goes beyond this. Always actively pretty and made up? Always submissive? Always catering to the husband’s needs with no concern for their own? This is not a healthy place for a wife to be because it is not a healthy dynamic for any person.
In a real “traditional” relationship, the partners are partners. It is not explicitly said, but this content pushes further into territory where the woman gives up autonomy to her husband. It is also not really aimed at women. The content finds it’s audience with men who want this fantasy. And you know what? The fantasy is fine! It is ok to fantasize about having a submissive wife who caters to your every whim. This content, this role of absolute servitude, is being served to lonely young men as fact. It is being sold as something attainable. There are no women lining up to give up their autonomy for any random dude.
Again, it is totally cool if you want to embrace traditional gender roles. Do what makes life good for you, and find a partner who wants the same! Just do not expect that you could ever get a woman to give up everything for you unless you are really, truly giving her everything first. Even then, most women would not want that.
I love living in a state where weed is legal commercially. I buy gummies at a dispensary down the road from me since it carries a brand with no residual pot flavor - my wife hates the taste of MJ. I get a tincture I like from a dispensary near my gym. Both make use of microemulsions to provide a fast acting high. When I was across the country in another state where it is legal, I could Google dispensaries, read reviews, and find one close to my hotel that people loved.
In states where it is legal, weed shops have become like any other specialty retail shop, and I am here for it.
“We keep thinking like OpenAI is a company that has a clue what it is doing because they have this amazing product that is getting used everywhere in business. In reality, they are a startup, and startups are going to have startup problems. We cannot treat them or their product like they are established and stable.”
-my wife, who leads work at another company with OpenAI tech
I know the above quote is from someone “unimportant” in the industry, but to me it encapsulates exactly what we have seen from OpenAI in the past couple weeks. She became simultaneously reassured and more worried when Satya Nadella, the highly respected CEO of Microsoft, became directly involved. I wonder what she will think of this development when she wakes up.
I am, thank you for asking. I am in full remission, and my particular type of cancer, while extremely aggressive, is highly unlikely to be a big deal if it comes back. Every 3 months they look in my mouth and down my throat, and they will cut any tiny abnormalities out if they look at all iffy. At this point I have 93% or better odds of remaining cancer free and not even needing anything removed.
It is not a globally big deal, but I wish I could have heard the conversations between the doctors on my cancer team. Everything went very well in the end, but it got really dicey for a while. It would be interesting to know what they were really thinking and discussing behind the practiced facade they presented to me.
Or I am just an idiot and cannot read. Let’s go with that, since it is the truth. Thank you for the kind correction!
Do you have any examples? I ask not to be confrontational, but instead because I have read nothing but kind things about him. Thank you!
Having adequate savings and/or additional income absolutely changes the job hunting game. This is one of the big reasons they having a 6-month emergency fund of necessary expenses is critical for financial health. It reduces the needs to make decisions that sacrifice long term benefit for short term survival. Like for many here, $10k is not that number for my household. We need much more in savings for a family of 4 with disabilities.
But let’s talk about how it changes the job hunt. The big answer is that you do not need to take any given offer. You can hold out for the right offer. For my wife, that meant passing up higher-paying contract roles and roles with less-than-ideal management and work life balance situations. When she found the right job, the heading she was working with was very clear, “This is the type of company where the pay will not look as great as some at first. Look at the benefits. Look at the employee reviews. This is the last job I am ever going to find for you.”
Having a safety net let us hold off until my wife found the right job. It was not about “knowing your worth” where you then ask for too much. It was about finding the best match. That ideal match has been very good for my family for many years now.
Oh, I see your mistake. Those are Samsung fridges. Nothing has a shorter lifespan than a Samsung fridge. Since there are two they will die together to maximize the inconvenience factor, and they thus must be clicked simultaneously. That is the only way a fake Samsung fridge could mimic the frustration caused by a real one.