Canonically some gets by every time, which is why they need ground crews with flame throwers, right?

This is a common misconception. While a pardon does mean some things (like removing your ability to plead the 5th in relation to the related case), it remains very disputed whether it constitutes an admission of guilt:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burdick_v._United_States#:~:text=Although the Supreme Court’s opinion,by the recipient is disputed.