I got a media failed to load error at first and thought that was the joke

At least most of us don’t need to worry about time dilation caused by relatively yet. Have fun with that, space faring developers.

This is my friend Fred. JP likes playing basketball and gardening. I met Morgan 5 years ago and JP has been my best friend ever since.

I’m pretty sure I live in a city between you and Dearborn but I don’t want to say the names and dox us. I just thought it was fun to piece together with the few clues and my familiarity with the area

Punctuation is the difference between helping your uncle, Jack, off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

I was in Auckland, NZ when there was an active shooter in late July and the whole city was on alert. I was expecting an American style mass shooting based on the number of sirens I heard outside. When I found out it was a disgruntled employee who shot 2 coworkers I thought “Oh, that’s just a Tuesday in America”

These restaurants keep my cousins’ reclaimed wood furniture business alive.

The IDF must really love killing Palestinians. They can’t even stop for a few days. They need an intervention

Meanwhile I’m hauling big chunks of wood I found on the side of the road in the trunk of my Corolla

I was born in America and had to do absolutely nothing to be better off than at least 3 billion people. I’m very lucky and this system is completely unfair

It’s from one of them Laconian magnetar-class battleships

I yeet. I yote. I have yeen.

It comes from Latin iactare meaning “to cast”. Over time the c was dropped as French evolved and the i shifted to a y consonant and we get yeter. Once it was borrowed into English it further changed as the -er was dropped and short e became a long ee following the great vowel shift.

I am lying but most of those bits are facts and I’m actually describing the etymology of jet. Also the proto Indo European ye is hilariously uncanny.

I feel this whole case is everything wrong with the justice system (aside from him actually facing consequences). A corrupt cop with a history of violence gets attacked in an overpopulated and understaffed prison where folks are punished instead of rehabilitated.

According to this I use Debian but my lack of audio, menu bar, and file browser says otherwise

I’ve been away awhile but I haven’t been using reddit either which is probably the best outcome tbh

It’s weird how the babies are just scaled down adults and don’t have baby features like big eyes

If you want go old school, you can say wereman and woman. English used to do this but the were- prefix fell out of use aside from werewolves and their werecousins

I love it

Gendered articles probably not but having “a” vs “the” removes the need for additional cases (eg. I/me/my). Latin and Russian don’t have articles but they have more cases which have different suffixes that have to be applied to all nouns. Usually simplifying one part of language makes another part more complex. English has a very simple case structure but the word order is much more strict