If other comments don’t get you sorted, Scrounger does it nicely. (if you trust some random site/ have no sensitive bookmarks; other options exist if not.)

Biblically accurate hot air balloon.

Hmm. Are you asking in good faith, or to dogpile? Anyway, sure; I can explain why.

The Gruesome - clickbait because “if it bleeds it leads.”
Story - words like “story” are often plainly false when the article is a tiny blurb or fluff piece. Thankfully, this article is an actual story. But remember, it’s still bait.
of How - clickbait because it asks a question it doesn’t answer, baiting the headline-reader to click.
Neuralink’s Monkeys - oh, another Elon Musk altar. The press can’t get enough of Musk.
Actually Died - more bleeding leading.

Headlines can just be content, rather than a tease. This article title intentionally relays no new info.

Ah, so I was wrong. Gotcha.

Clickbait headline, no tldr? That’s a downvote for me dawg.

Skyler Hornback. Great contestant!

anti-clickbait tldr: identities, apps, systems should have only the access and privileges they need. A least-privilege security posture is obvious, but many make bad choices.

tldr: parody petition for a six month moratorium on superconductor development because it needs more tracking and government intervention.

Chop score: D+

Paywall. tldr?

Guessing… corporate incompetence and scaling problems and logistics and “muh supply chain” nonsense.