To think about death.
No I’m not depressed. Death is a topic that is sad or scary from the point of view of the living. But once we die, that point of view is not valid for us any more. So then death becomes a point beyond which being sad or happy doesn’t matter any more because sad and happy are part of the living world.
Of course I’m scared to die. Fear is a part of life and survival instincts are what has kept us what we are. I don’t want to seek death and want to enjoy the time of being alive to the fullest.
But we can seek solace in the mystery of death as much as the mystery of birth, I believe.
Death is mysterious. But do you really want to seek it ? It will eventually come anyways, so why seek it before it comes.
Even though it was not our choice to be alive, we do have the choice to live it in 100 different ways. I cannot judge the hardship you are facing, but rather than seeing death, why not try changing the variables of your life or help change it for someone less fortunate than you ?