I feel this. After 6 years of work I’m about to decide what I’ll be studying. Saw the videos and heard the horror stories. Did all the sharing on social media (and still do) but it feels like it achieves nothing.

Spoke to a palestinian refugee 2 weeks ago who studied robotics. 5 years younger than me too. All his plans for his future are gone. And here I am planning for my potential future just like he did.

Only thing keeping me up is revolutionary optimism, which I basically recite like a mantra, like an idiom from a culture I don’t understand.

It’s a good thing for good people to have money. It can go a long way - to relief orgs, mutual support funds, helping family and friends. And just to take care of yourself physically and mentally, so that you can reach your further goals. There’s a lot to be done. Get your bag, king.

You’re not a super hero. You haven’t failed if you haven’t saved the world on your own. That kid’s kids may ask him the same question. “I did what I could.” is a perfectly valid answer.

Like they tell you on flights. Help yourself before helping others. Do what you can and just be honest with yourself. Even if all you can do is write essays and talk to other people. Adventurism is very rarely effective either.

As @LarkinDePark said you are not a super hero, you don’t have to carry that burden on your back, the fact that you’re here on grad looking to inform yourself, is already a very big step, you are concerned and revolted by the situation of the world, good, actually very good. Keep finding means to provide for you and your family, and if and when you have more available time or money, try to figure out good ways of organizing, see if there are any collectives around you or something like it. Because in my eyes the best thing comrades everywhere can do is to work on the revolution on their own land, however far it is. The deaths in Gaza and Congo, the deaths by hunger and disease are not gonna stop no matter how many individual conflicts we solve, capitalism will keep killing more and more in the most varied ways. And that is sickening, you have that right, but our job is to group up with people round us, and help people around us, and share our knowledge with people most hurt by this system, to offer them an alternative. So in the future, even if we don’t know how far in said future, we along with the masses revolt and take down our opression. And then the world will have another force that will stand against future Gaza and Congos and whatever new horrors capitalism comes up with.

Just know comrade you’re doing your best, I’m proud of you, I applaud your indignation with the situation, but first you need to take care of you and yours, and your mental health. Once you can take a breather you think about heeding the bulk of my advice, cause we don’t want you to break under overwhelming pressure, we want you as happy and motivated as you can be, then you’ll be much more productive to the revolution, just know that you and your family matters, even if horrible things are happening elsewhere you folk still matter. Do what you can comrade, just not at your own expense.

Fam we can’t be everywhere at once tryna solve the world’s problems. I totally get it.

But if you’re not in a position where you can do something materially you don’t gotta blame yourself for it. Capitalism has us all feeling like that for problems in our own lives, let alone problems the world has.

It’s what’s so beautiful about being a Communist, you’re never alone, we’re all in this together, even the ones who can’t be out there doing material work. I’m disabled and can’t work or really do much so all I have is to educate myself, stay aware and spread these ideas to others.

There’s a place for all of us at the revolution.

I don’t think I can say anything that hasn’t already been said, but I can say, I do get it. I try to go by the idea that “I can’t help someone else put their mask on if I don’t put on my own first.” But it’s also not always clear what counts as that vs. not. And it feels surreal going about my day like nothing is happening, only to go spend some time amplifying more traumatizing news about ongoing genocide. I’ve been doing a lot of crying or close to crying these days and that’s something I used to almost never do. Nobody and nothing prepares you for something like this. How can they? Genocide is hell and there’s not a lot of precedent, I don’t think (if any), for being in a position where we simultaneously know in graphic detail that it’s happening day by day while also, many of us, being so far removed from it in locality that it’s difficult to do more than make sure people know it’s happening and that its perpetrators can’t control the narrative. Which is something and people are trying to do more than that, but in what ways, I’m not super well-informed on the specifics.

I just know that even if it can feel trite at times, being kind to yourself is important; recognizing that you have limitations and taking care of your needs, and doing what you can within that. I know some can take that kind of mindset too far, to the point of luxury and indulgence and burying head in sand, but I think someone in your position, like me, would understand it’s a warning about overdoing it and stretching yourself thin, that making sure to apply your compassion to yourself too is not going to stop you from caring about things like this and looking to do what you can.

Just wanna say I feel ya. I also got a new job and for the first time in my adult life I will be outside of the “official” poverty line. But with that I have had to let my organizing take a backseat as I acclimate and attend to a bunch of other personal transitions. I simply just don’t have as much time and energy to do both. I have moments where it’s not easy to reconcile.

Congrats on the new opportunity comrade.