Look man, I ain’t gonna lie. I’m sitting here in my bed, and I’m finna to start a new job, right? I’m finna to start a new job, that’s gonna pay me a lot of money. And this is, in any other scenario, a year, two years ago, I would be all about it. But man, all I can think about, you know, I get older, I have a kid, that kid gets a little bit older, he gonna ask me, he gonna go, “Pop, where were you when they was killing all them kids in Gaza? When they was dropping all them bombs. What were you doing?” And you know what I’m gonna have to say to my son? I’m gonna say, “I was stacking paper, son. I was getting some bread.”
Could you imagine, it’s Nazi Germany, and somebody said, well, they sending them to the gas chambers, train by train by train, day after day. I keep seeing them get loaded up on the news, but shit, I gotta stack my paper, I gotta get my bread. Sounds a little bit ridiculous, don’t it? It sounds a little bit ridiculous. And it’s got me thinking about a whole lot of things. And part of me almost feels like this job, the money that this job gonna pay me, okay, this money is a bribe. It’s the system saying, hey, look, we know you don’t like it, but here’s some good money, man. You wanna get that paper, don’t you?
Brother, I wanna get that paper more than anything I want to break the cycle. My kids ain’t growing up ina dusty ass FEMA trailer park. That’s all my life has been about. I remember selling snack cakes in middle school. I was selling test results in high school. I was selling whatever I needed to sell, okay? Doing whatever I needed to do. Things I can’t tell you. I was working two full-time jobs before covid, 80+ hours a week sleeping in my car some nights.
But I’ve seen things in the last six months that would make a grown man weep. And that just is something I cannot stop thinking about. Like, what am I doing? What are we all doing? I saw a toddler melted, no skin, just sinew and burns. White phosphorous is only made in America, only in Arkansas. We did that.
We did that man.
You know, I run a website. I got a platform. I get like 5,000, 6,000 views, sometimes even 7,000 views a week. I’ve written article after article and I don’t feel any less hollow than I did when it first started, when I first started seeing them videos. I’ve spread the word, I’ve gotten my social medias have been banned for spreading the word, but it’s not enough. It’s not shit. It’s internet shit. That’s not real shit. That kid, if I told him, well, you know, I look, I wrote an article about what they did to you. You think you feel better about what they did? It’s many a nights I lost sleep thinking about the things I done seen. And I know the people who are doing these things, they sleep in the sound as a motherfucking bear in the wintertime.
It’s a good thing for good people to have money. It can go a long way - to relief orgs, mutual support funds, helping family and friends. And just to take care of yourself physically and mentally, so that you can reach your further goals. There’s a lot to be done. Get your bag, king.
This is what I tell myself, because I don’t really have any interest in material goods, but money gets you resources. You know, I have friends who $10,000 gets them the healthcare they need. If I got $10,000 and I could just give that to them, that would be amazing. That would be worth infinitely more than a new car. That would be worth infinitely more than a Camaro. Just having a rough go at it lately.