I feel this so, so hard. I can usually ignore things in real life, but I don’t watch family movies or shows very much because they make me feel the same way, and if I ever do something or have an experience that feels like my idea of normalcy I end up in a euphoric like state for a few hours before crashing really hard and ending up really sad for the next few days
I think you deserve all the hugs in the world for having to feel that way 🫂 That’s heartbreaking. I know you can’t do anything about how it all is and you’re unbelievably bright and level-headed and observant for all you’ve been through, but I hope so much you do find your own family when you become independent and get some of those happy family vibes in your real life. The physical feeling of belonging and security is absolutely unmatched. May you get to experience that for real with good people who will be there for you :D
I’m the same with any family related media. It just hurts.
I know about that euphoric state you’re talking about. For me, they happen when I succeed at something I’ve been working hard at.
I feel really good for a while, then the thoughts of “wish I had a family (that’s average) to celebrate with”.
All my victories are silent.
I lie to people when ask me about my family. I made up a story about how they are all overseas. Stops the weird vibe that happens when you tell the truth.
I feel this so, so hard. I can usually ignore things in real life, but I don’t watch family movies or shows very much because they make me feel the same way, and if I ever do something or have an experience that feels like my idea of normalcy I end up in a euphoric like state for a few hours before crashing really hard and ending up really sad for the next few days
so many super hugs
I get that feeling from “normalcy” too, then I see the dysfunctional fam and have to tone down my normal.
I think you deserve all the hugs in the world for having to feel that way 🫂 That’s heartbreaking. I know you can’t do anything about how it all is and you’re unbelievably bright and level-headed and observant for all you’ve been through, but I hope so much you do find your own family when you become independent and get some of those happy family vibes in your real life. The physical feeling of belonging and security is absolutely unmatched. May you get to experience that for real with good people who will be there for you :D
I’m the same with any family related media. It just hurts. I know about that euphoric state you’re talking about. For me, they happen when I succeed at something I’ve been working hard at. I feel really good for a while, then the thoughts of “wish I had a family (that’s average) to celebrate with”.
All my victories are silent.
I lie to people when ask me about my family. I made up a story about how they are all overseas. Stops the weird vibe that happens when you tell the truth.