I’m pushing half a century in an industry that is not kind to old guys. I try to fend it off but every now and then it hits me. I’m pretty sure this is not unique to my life experience, or it wouldn’t have a term :-)
It comes in waves for me. I’ll feel fine for a few weeks, maybe a month or two, then I’ll be deep in the depths for days, weeks straight. Mostly at night, staring out my bedroom window, contemplating the horror of the abyss.
I have to agree with you here because it comes in waves for me as well. But often spread out between 4-6 months and then I’ll get it for 2-3 weeks straight. It’s very unpleasant and I’m sorry you’re experiencing this.
Right back at you, yeah it’s rough. I am seeking out getting medication for it but we’ll see.
I’ve just started Rexulti, Klonopin, Chlonodine, and Ambien. Even though I’m only 5 days into it, I’m already starting to feel better.
I hope you can find some healing and stabilization.
Thanks, and to you as well. Best wishes.
At least once a week. Sometimes almost daily.
Pretty much daily. I just want it to end
Ah it is 5:30, time for my evening existential crisis. I have to be sure not to go over again as I don’t want to miss my show.
Existential?
More like Exponential Dread.
Ayooo!
sobbing
Wait, you guys stop having it?
Almost never.
I used to have it a fair amount, and medicate myself to avoid it a fair amount as well, and then just about exactly 20 years ago, in the span of about three days, I started feeling sick, got more and more sick, went to the doctor and discovered I had cancer, and had emergency surgery. Then I went through about six months of really awful chemotherapy.
I definitely wouldn’t recommend having cancer as a cure for existential dread, but it worked for me.
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As I have gotten older, the frequency of episodes have decreased. In my early 40’s now. I would say it occurs at least once every 3-4 months as opposed to weekly in my teens.
Every day since I was in junior high about. Knowing that I have nothing to really look forward to except working a job I don’t really want to afford to barely keep myself alive right up until the day I die, alone and forgotten.
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What broke for you?
Whenever I think of the future I get it bad. Disabled, poor, parents are my carers, couldn’t afford to live on my own even if I could. And every year the bushfires get bigger and closer to home. If I let it it constant dread would become my default state, but I am aware of this and try to focus on the now.
Not to say I don’t do my best to safe guard the future, have plans in place for if I ever need to navigate the things that scare me most. But I try not to dwell on it. Someday my parents will die, failing some sort of miracle I will end up in a care home without my pets. But I might also drop dead tomorrow in which case all my worrying will have been for nothing.
Right now at this very moment things are going ok and the number one thing that makes it not ok is worrying about a time in the future when its entirely not ok. But why meet it in the middle? I can’t change the rivers current, best I can do is try to steer on the odd occasion where the path splits.
I may be relatively young compared to other guys on this thread, but I’m also a victim of something like this. Recently I’m fighting with the company I’ve worked for over so tiny shit that it astonishes me, and terrifies because of consequences of incorrect actions from my side. I’ve understood years ago that I’m no one and will achieve nothing, so it hits less. This dread also comes in waves, as I was good for whole 3 months, and now to the same old shit. Sigh.
Between COVID, climate change, and my own worsening health, pretty much constantly.
I accept it as a part of living.
Weekly. I’m pushing 50yo too. My industry is dying a slow death.
Not sure to up our down vote lol
Hey, it could be worse, you could be a kid whose whole world is in the midst of melting down before they’ve even had a chance to realize what life could’ve been like if not for the shitty decisions of the preceeding generations.
Often, although I suspect that I just feel bad, and need to make up stories to justify the bad feelings. So, it doesn’t have to be existential.
