Hey sexy mama, wanna kill all humans?
So…… you’re a girl.
Cause I don’t care. 👀🌈
Oh. So… then are you? Otherwise available?
Do you believe people with penises think with their dicks?
[silently hands over 3d puzzle]
👉👌
Y’ever seen someone solve a Rubik’s cube in just 5 seconds?
Yeah, me neither.
Hi! So what do you think of assimilation?
I’d be interested to know that myself as I’ve usually been so out of it quite what happened is unclear.
Did it hurt when you fell down from heaven? Because you look pretty fucked up.
Lift with your knees, not your back.
Oh fuck, I dropped this entire pack of cards on the ground. Can you help me?
“Ay, you ever heard of Lemmy? Lemmy get your number?”
I would use this, if I met people IRL that have heard of Lemmy.
Are you a beaver? 'Cos DAM
(shoutout to the absolutely fantastic Sophie Corrigan who creates a lot of really beautiful art for bad pun lines like this one)
“don’t you let go”
The longest relationship I ever had started this way: we were at a mutual friend’s house with a bunch of our friends. I introduced myself, then sat across the room from them, in a big comfortable chair, and I fell asleep while looking at them. For some reason they thought this was charming.
“I could pick up girls even in my sleep”
??? lmao
Hey are you trying to blind me? Cause dang your clothes are stunning