Whistle.
Same here
Tell a joke or story in a linear fashion. I’m always fucking up, or realizing halfway through that I’ve left out an important detail. It’s how my mind works but I’m sure it’s frustrating to others. Plus I just get flop sweat sometimes.
I wish so bad I was better at telling stories. Not that I have many, but still
I just always give too much context to my stories, and quickly realise that I’m giving context for context for context and cant remember my point.
My closest friend is very similar here though, and we can have great long conversations that are 20 layers deep of tangents and forgetting our original points. We also sometimes yell ‘pin’ at eachother as a shorthand for ‘lets put a pin in this’ which basically means that at some point we’re trying to remember what we wanted to say at that point because it was fun.
I can only tell jokes I don’t find funny myself. Normally I can’t controll my laughing after the first couple of words.
i have the opposite issue, i start telling a story trying to make it interesting and engaging and then feel like im running out of time before people disengage so i rush through and sum up 75% of the story in a few sentances and say “so yeah thats pretty much it”.
Some days when the pollen count is high, breathe.
i cant understand distorted speech, while most people around me obviously can. i have never been able to understand anyone speaking into a loudspeaker.
I have this problem, as well. Distorted amplification, song lyrics, speech against loud background noise? Forget it. Oddly, I got a pair of Shokz bone-conducting headphones recently, and noticed that I have been understanding lyrics for the first time in songs that I’ve been listening to for 30+ years. (I should really listen to that song about how “Shareef don’t like it; Fuck the passport, fuck the passport.”
yeah, same. i dont seem to have any problem with my ears per se, it seems more like a processing/noise filtering thing in my brain that’s not working at full power. i think my dad had it too.
It’ll always be a mystery what Kenny says. Seriously, people understand him?
I can’t snap very well. Or whistle
Same!
Whistling took me literal years to get, but it’s great to have. And it’s just one form of whistling, some people can do it with their fingers but I can’t be arsed
Remember how many days are in each month. I mean, I guess maybe I could if I tried harder, but I refuse.
Make both hands into a fist and hold them out in front of you so that the knuckles are visible. Now start on a pinky and count the knuckles and valleys between them. Knuckles are 31 days, valleys are 30 (and February). When you switch between hands it doesn’t count as a valley.
Left Pinky knucke: January, 31 days
Left Pinky/ring finger valley: February
Left Ring finger knuckle: march, 31
Left Ring/middle: April, 30
Left Middle: may, 31
Left Middle/index: June, 30
Left Index: July, 31
Right Index: August, 31
Right Index/middle: September, 30
Right middle: Oktober, 31
Right middle/ring: November, 30
Right ring finger knuckle: December, 31I got halfway through that, then died of old age during a month that may or may not have 31 days.
Whats the point? When do I need this information?
Bring on the 13x28 calender and end the madness.
YES THANK YOU!!! The only sane person right here! 😭😭😭
31 29 31 30 31 30 31 31 30 31 30 31
It alternates between 31 and 30. The exception being that February got shortchanged and had to give a day to August, and it keeps alternating after that.
Due to leap year magic February has to give up yet another day, so it’s either 28 or 29.
30 days hath September, April June, and November.
All the rest have 31 except for oddball February.
This seems as easy to memorize as any one Shakespeare play
I genuinely can’t comprehend this statement. I’ve always heard it and it just sounds like random words jumbled together
Knuckles seem easier
Hath is old English for have. Those 4 months have 30 days. Once you know that February has 28, you know the rest by process of elimination.
30 days hath September,
April, June, and November.Use your knuckles and the space between from left to right. The higher points are longer months.
The left pinky knuckle is January, the space between pinky and ring knuckle is February, the ring knuckle is March and so on. The left index knuckle will be July and you continue with August being the right hand index knuckle. All the months that land on a knuckle are 31, while everything else is 30 (except 28 or 29 for February).
Swim
Shut the fuck up
Auditory processing. Say a vaguely complex paragraph to me and I won’t get anything out of it. It is just one of those things I have to explain to people and ask them to request things in writing. Writing is the polar opposite, I can have details stick with me for decades.
Swallow pills. It takes 3-4 tries every time for the smaller ones.
I wish there was a way to explain this without making it sound gross, but get some saltines, chew em up, and sneak the pill into the mash in your mouth before you swallow
I haven’t had trouble swallowing pills, so I don’t how helpful this is, but it’s something that still made it easier for me: I used to try to swallow the pill by just pushing it with water on an initially empty throat. Once I started swallowing the water first, then letting the pill ride between gulps in the stream’s momentum, it became more comfortable and automatic.
I haven’t had to take one in a while but I’ll probably try this or simply try without water next time.
The funny thing is I’m sure you swallow larger pieces of food all the time with no trouble!
The food wouldn’t be in a form factor where they can turn sideways and get lodged in your throat. It’s so unpleasant when that happens.
Probably when not paying attention. But also, sometimes I chew soup if there’s rice or other small things in it :p
Difference is that you can chew the food, it’s much more natural. You can’t, or aren’t supposed to, chew the pill (especially if it’s a capsule). There is a psychological component, for sure.
Consuming along with a water-based ice treat such as an Icy Pole, Zooper Dooper etc might help.
I can’t whistle. Honestly I think it’s because one of my lower front teeth is crooked, twisted at an angle. 🤷♂️
Me neither, and for the same reason.
I lost my ability to whistle in a tragic playground accident when my front teeth met the skull of a friend travelling in the other direction. Ever since, crooked front tooth.
ow
My parents used to tell me as a kid that I couldn’t whistle because I wasn’t eating my pizza crust. After I started eating the crust I learned how to whistle.
Have you tried eating crust?
With a crooked tooth? Impossible!
even
Last time I accidentally a Coca Cola bottle.
rip
navigate the social landscape of a corporate office
I can’t navigate politics at all. Have done ok working at startups though, some offices are not at all political. Where I work, we can fix other people’s processes if we think of a better way, we work with other departments, I don’t have to go through my manager to talk to your manager to get to you, can go directly to you. Can talk to the CEO, to ex- employees, nobody is protective of their work, nobody is angling for my job.
Everyone in my office just fucking moans about everything, all the time. It’s honestly exhausting. The company is actually really good and gives a ton of perks. Just do your job and go home. Stop trying to bring everyone down with your shit.
The rules are “make anyone above you feel good about themselves because they’ll throw a hissy fit if you don’t make them feel special.” It’s pathetic and I’m tired of it.
But like if I try this, if I break down and try this, I’m so bad at it that it’s insulting and threatening to them to see my transparent flattery and wheedling.
Oooof, I hear that. Things are more political than ever at my work and it’s like, I just want to do my job and go home
I used to be unable to jump, but then I did Morris dancing. I learned how to jump normally at 27.
What happened when you tried to jump? I can’t picture this.
I second the curiosity. What would it look like? Sudden crouching? Paralyzing indecision?
I’m picturing those seizure goats
Basically
I could spring from my ankles, but getting my knees involved made me mess up the timing and I got no lift.
Forgive the audio, recommend muting, but I expect it might have been similar to this video of a woman who does not know how to jump:
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
https://www.piped.video/watch?v=k1EVWeek7Kk
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.
What in the world. Thanks, this simultaneously explains so much and so little.
Cook
