I have no sense of direction. None.
I work in construction. If I show up to a site that is completely built, I get lost. If the floor is symmetrical in layout, I am totally screwed. It took me two full days on site once to get adjusted.
When assigned to a new site, if there are more than a few turns in a commute, I’m using the GPS to get there for a couple of weeks.
Also, I had no idea half of the people on this planet couldn’t whistle.
My husband bought me a Garmin when they very first came out, not because we were flashy people, but he wanted to know I could get somewhere by myself if I needed to . You are not alone my friend
I have no sense of direction. None.
Sounds like you are a real-life Ryoga Hibiki.
Just curious: do you also lack the ability to visualize things in your mind? For example, I am able to bring up a road map of my city in my mind, figure out the most effective route between two points, and rotate that map in all three dimensions to “look” at it from all angles. My familiarity with the city layout and geography is the determining factor on how easily I can visualize that map. I can also do the same thing with large buildings and their internal layouts.
My wife, on the other hand, has a somewhat similar (but nowhere near as bad) sense of direction as you, and a commensurate inability to visualize objects in her mind. So while she can mentally visualize a soccer ball as a spherical object, she cannot even visualize the hexagonal pattern of pieces, much less (on a traditional soccer ball) how some are white and others black. She doesn’t technically have aphantasia, as she is still able to visualize to a small degree, but I have always suspected her inability to visualize effectively was directly connected to her inability to navigate effectively. She also relies heavily on GPS and maps when navigating anywhere else other than the town she was born in.
Sounds like you’re describing my wife for real
For what it’s worth, I can’t visualize either, but have excellent directional sense.
So maybe it is not related, then. Or maybe only causally related, or under certain more specific visualization deficits.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Not OP but I can visualize great, still have no sense of direction.
You’ll probably have your answer when I tell you that when you brought three dimensions into the map analogy, my brain kind of melted.
Getting laid and stop being a virgin. And no, I don’t want to pay for a pro to lie me.
Bruh, I’m a fat fuck and not only did I get laid, I married a beautiful, wonderful woman half my weight. A amazing woman who loves me for who I am and finds me sexually attractive.
Be kind, be generous, ask questions, and do basic like, grooming and bathing and whatnot. If you’re socially awkward, study the ways of the Chandler. (Not necessarily literally, but honestly you can learn a lot about being pleasant to be around and interacting with people by watching actors fake it, which you can then use to fake it until you’re more comfortable).
Sex itself isn’t the goal, becoming a well-rounded person you would like to be around is the goal. Because self-confidence is an elusive but important factor.
I’m not going to claim to be without privilege, I’ve got a damn sexy voice and I sing in a chorus, which is a great way to meet people. Which is another part of my advice, find hobbies that let you interact with other people. They don’t even need to be people you’re sexually attracted to, because time with people helps you to be better around people, and being better around people helps those people to introduce you to others.
If it’s honestly something you want, becoming the kind of person who fucks is a very attainable goal. After all, our entire species is here because lots of people achieve that goal.
But like I said, it’s important for your aim not to be getting laid, but rather genuinely getting yourself to a place where you like yourself and know others will like you, too. Journey before destination, you know? It’s really really easy to wallow and pretend it’s outside your abilities, but that’s true of anything that you have never done before. And literally everything you do is something you can get better at.
Don’t give up, don’t despair.
Who the fuck Is Chandler?
Also I’m sorry but you’re basically telling me to fake myself. I cannot do that, it literally makes me sick in my stomach trying to “fit in” I have 0 desire of having another worthless hobby just to be more desirable… It doesn’t feel genuine, already dropped a few of those that I HAD the will to do, imagine a hobby that I don’t a huge a shit about it how good that would go
Be kind, be generous, ask questions, and do basic like, grooming and bathing and whatnot.
He is basically telling you to be nice to others. To work on yourself to become a better person. Something we all are supposed to be doing and most of us are doing. And sometimes, when you don’t feel like it, to be nice to others anyways. That’s just basic human decency and interaction.
Nobody is telling you to fake yourself. But we all sometimes are feeling like behaving like an asshole, but then we don’t.
Basically, work on yourself to become a person others like to be around and don’t be an asshole.
Who the fuck Is Chandler?
Chandler Bing, the sarcastic “nerd” in Friends (who, like every sitcom character, is actually highly attractive of course).
Not saying you need to watch Friends (it hasn’t aged super well), but honestly sitcoms can be helpful for social training. To some extent, anyway.
Also I’m sorry but you’re basically telling me to fake myself.
No, I’m suggesting you find way to change things you don’t like about yourself, to make improvements. You’re going to feel like you’re faking it any time you try to do something you aren’t comfortable with at first, but the more you do it the more comfortable you’ll feel.
I cannot do that, it literally makes me sick in my stomach trying to “fit in”
Not telling you to try to fit in. I’m telling you to try to improve your interpersonal skills. Trying to fit in is trying to copy everyone else and be what you think they want you to be. Instead, try examine the way other people interact to learn how to be less awkward.
You won’t succeed immediately. You will make a fool of yourself. I spent decades making a fool of myself. Still do make a fool of myself. But that’s okay. The only real cost are the frustratingly intrusive memories of embarrassment. 😅 But hey, that’s how we learn.
I have 0 desire of having another worthless hobby
Who said anything about worthless hobbies? I’m confident there are things you’ve never tried that you would enjoy. If you don’t like it, find something else. Branch out. Spend time around people, that’s the important part. Not just for getting laid, but for like, longevity. Humans who have consistent social connections live longer on average.
Look, I’m not making demands of you here. I’m trying to give you advice that worked for me. If you don’t want that advice, just ignore it. But you remind me of my own attitude when I was younger, and I’m just letting you know what helped me.
I am significantly happier now than I was twenty years ago. But it’s not like I’ve reached some end point, change is the only constant. Improving myself is something I will probably never stop doing. Lately it’s been about learning to be a better partner to my wife, but it’s also still always about learning to be more comfortable outside my comfort zones. A lifelong, ongoing process. Like I said, journey before destination.
If left to my own devices, I would spend most evenings smoking weed, playing video games, and listening to podcasts or TV. Activities I love. But if that were all I did (or, rather, when that was all I did), I would (did) enjoy my life far less.
Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t easy. A line from the TV show Scrubs that has stuck with me for years goes “nothing in life worth having comes easy.” I don’t know if I entirely agree with this line, but there is absolutely some truth to it. Every day we choose between the pain of effort and the pain of regret.
Anyway, I don’t want to be annoying. I hope you find what you’re looking for in life, dude.
Just wanted to say that both of your replies are great comments, they’re both useful and positive, love seeing comments like yours. They’re well thought out replies!
People like you help to give me back some of my faith in humanity.
It’s great that you’re taking that other guy to heart.
Buddy, your account is 10 hours old and all you’ve contributed is negativity. I’m not surprised you can’t get laid, your attitude is bad and you seem like an unpleasant person based off the tone of your comments.
Nobody likes someone that’s perpetually angry. Buddy’s advice to you basically boiled down “be yourself and be a genuinely kind person” and you just straight up dismiss it as “faking it”. If you have to fake being nice then you should get some help.
The guy suggested that practicing basic hygiene is ‘faking it’ and trying to ‘fit in’.
I don’t want to use the words ‘lost cause’ but I’m getting close.
No you have to be genuine
Two things at once.
There’s two ways to really do two things at once. Either you find a way to make them one more complex thing in your mind, or you juggle your focus between them.
This is good for things like reading aloud, reading music, playing two rhythms with different limbs, dancing or other choreography etc.
A great deal of studies have proven the latest conventional wisdom: multitasking is a myth.
If it takes you 5 minutes to focus on and complete task A and 10 minutes to focus on and complete task B, trying to do them both at the same time instead of completing one and then completing the other guarantees it will take you longer than 15 minutes.
It very much depends on the task. So long as the tasks don’t overlap, in cognitive requirements, you’re fine. E.g. you can listen to a podcast, while washing up. As soon as the requirements overlap, then your point holds. E.g. I personally can’t write anything down, while listening to an audiobook. The resource requirements overlap.
It’s also worth noting that different people can do the same task with different parts of the brain. E.g. accurate timekeeping. Some people do it visually, others audibly etc.
Well yes, was primarily referring to executive function. But even podcasts or really good music can start to sap our focus. If you lose focus for even just a moment, you’ll probably not make up that time.
Some days when the pollen count is high, breathe.
Don’t you all count your knuckles for that?
Whistle
Whistle.
Same here
whistle
tell when it’s about to rain by looking at the sky
I can tell when its going to rain by the feel of the air
Eat bread (celiac). And riding a bike…
Well I’ve never eaten bread while riding a bike either
Most bread is bad anyway. Subway is a whole ass franchise built off of bad bread. I’m personally very happy I’ll never have to eat another stale ass too-touhh chibada at some upscale burger place ever again. Knife and fork burgers 4 lyfe.
Order a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks while wearing ugg boots
recognize, remember, confront people. anything people.
At times, I still miscount.
Figure out when a kettle of piratoes is ready. I can cook a lot of stuff, but when boiling potatoes I always need my GF to check if they’re ready.
Smart idea, piratoes are dangerous.
Was surprised I started mixing up left and right after I broke my right-hand wrist while biking.
Turns out I subconsciously associated “right” for the direction my stronger hand was on, and once my left hand started feeling like the more dominant one during recovery - my brain would automatically choose that “right” should be on my left-hand side instead, until I actively thought about which direction is which.
This gradually decreased out as my right hand recovered and got back to being the dominant one over the next few years, but was eye-opening what shortcuts my brain uses for such basic things.
That’s really interesting. There are probably more people like you, but who will never know if nothing happens to their dominant hand.
Wait, are you saying you didn’t have to actively think about which is right or left before? I’ve always had to think about it, only for a second, but it’s definitely an active thought thing for me.
Really?
Yeah, definitely. I didn’t know people didn’t have to think about it for a second.
This is wild and I genuinely can’t wrap my head around it.
So say, if you were blindfolded and run, if I give you command a la those rally drivers you will have a noticeable lag to my cue ? Like not instant ?
Now that you mention it, it’s odd that some people (like myself) have to think about it. Like I wouldn’t have to hardly think about what you meant if you said “up” or “down.”
Think of it like telling someone the directions like “twelve o’clock” versus “six o’clock” or “three o’clock” - you probably have to take a tic (heh) to picture it.
Yeah, the BBC article I posted above also mentions that.
At first I thought it would be like if someone told me to touch my nose and I have to consider which part of my face it is, because for me my body is split in the middle the left and right feel distinctly different I can’t confuse one with the other. Fascinating.
Are you ambidextrous by any chance?
I keep trying, but no, not ambidextrous
I mean, it’s a split second, but yeah, I gotta think about it. I don’t think there would be noticeable lag, but it’s definitely a conscious thought. I just thought everyone had to have the thought go through their head, it’s not just like an instinct or anything.
I guess the brain is just weird like that. This is also news to me, I thought “doesn’t know left from right” is just a figure of speech.
And now I’m down into the rabbit hole.
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20230112-why-some-people-cant-tell-left-from-right
You’re not the only one, it takes me a second or two. Sometimes I make an L shape with my hands to see which way is left. Then again, sometimes I forget my age and name haha.
My wife has trouble with this as well. She’s also not very good with spatial reasoning, I wonder if those are linked
I am pretty alright with spatial reasoning but have a hard time with left and right. Especially in multitasking scenarios. When driving during complicated situations and in unknown environments for example. I always get my guide to point or have a look at the nav.
Do you have to herd her around the supermarket? I’m forever guiding my mrs out of the way of other shoppers. No spatial awareness bless her.
Lmao it’s not that bad. Or rather, it manifests at a larger scale : she’ll wonder how we came to face this way by taking that route, or how we’re able to see our home from some vantage point. She isn’t very agile but I wouldn’t say she’s dyspraxic either.
Is it ever an issue for you both ?
I always look for my ring, then I know which hand is left.
Funny enough, I stopped mixing up my left and right after I broke my arm roller blading (on another occasion I broke my arm while biking). I didn’t have a way to mentally keep track until the doctor set the arm slightly off with the bone bowing out a bit - it feels slightly different now, but visually you can’t tell.
I just can’t even right now or later. I don’t care if that makes me basic.
How odd.
