Feel free to share any life experiences or anecdotes.
People are attracted to people who are comfortable with themselves. Take the time to learn who you are, and friendships, romance, and relationships will follow.
Other people will never complete you, but they’re nice to have around. So focus and work on yourself, but stay empathetic.
And don’t try to complete somebody else, no matter how meaningful it feels in the moment to do so.
Whatever you do, don’t buy expensive electronics, especially on credit. They will be outdated before you know it.
Realize that the cutting edge electronics that you buy today won’t be worth jack shit in three years time.
Conversely, old electronics still work relatively fine but are nearly free.
Ergo, purchase electronics and then sell them at an earlier time.
Best Buy doesn’t want you to learn this one weird trick discovered by a local Lemming.
but they might be worth a lot in 30 years if you take good care of them!
Get therapy if you feel there’s even a remote possibility you could benefit from it, especially if you can check anything off the adverse child experience list. The way trauma impacts you and your relationships with everyone else, and even your body, is hard to understand when it’s normal to you.
How did you address your trauma? What methods did you find worked?
Therapy and medication has put me in the best state I’ve been in for basically my entire life. I’m not “cured” or anything, but between the meds and processing a lot of shit in therapy I’m at least better able to cope and interrupt my own negative spirals much more easily.
I’d been doing all the self soothing, meditation, etc techniques that people recommend for decades, and it was really only after dealing with underlying issues in therapy and getting on meds that those things actually started working for me.
I was kind of mad when I realized that because for so many years I thought I just needed to git gud, but it turns out most people can’t hype themselves out of the lingering effects of childhood trauma! Who could have foreseen this 🥴
University isn’t to get A grades, it is to make contacts, A grades doesn’t assure anything, contacts can save your life.
If you can’t make contacts, try eyeglasses.
I graduated college with a 3.55. I got my first job through contacts (my sister cut the hair of all the executives’ wives, I including the CEO’s wife). They never once so much as looked at my transcript.
This is too true and I wish my parents raised me under this motto :(
If you can’t make contacts, try eyeglasses.
Worry more about your job than your grades. Create a stable source of income, your degree can wait especially if it’s not a traditionally stable profession (medicine, accountant, lawyer, etc).
Exercise and maintain your strength and flexibility. This is super important, more so than the job. Staying healthy early on will save you a lot of money in doctors appointments by the time you hit your late 20s.
Seconding this, and even if its a supposed stable profession don’t depend on it, I’ve seen too many tradesmen working retail and doctors that fail to start residency.
I’d add on learn as many skills as you can, especially basic cooking and repair (car, home, gadgets, etc), it will save you time and money. Home cooked is cheaper than eating out and if you can make meals in advance and freeze them it will save time.
Start exercising regularly and eating correctly now.
Find a skill based hobby that you love and practice it every week. Stuff like a sport, musical instrument, art, etc. The hobby itself will be rewarding but there is no substitute for having decades of experience under your belt for these kind of activities.
Also, don’t have children.
Don’t go to college. Run away to a country that doesn’t have a US military base and live a simple, happy, peaceful life.
Why?
Because those countries are happily accepting uneducated immigrants, right?
Usually…
Any examples? I’ve lived in 10 countries so far and am about to move to the 11th end of this month. Neither of them had a US military presence (Liberia did have a massive UN presence though), and all of them required an academic record to grant a residence permit.
I believe Georgia (the country) was the only one that didn’t, but that’s because of a special agreement they have with the EU.
How did you like Georgia? I keep beong obsessed by it (because music).
I loved it there, and meant to move back at some point. Amazing people, food, and landscape.
Unfortunately from a few friends I still have there (both locals and foreigners) I heard that after Russia invaded Ukraine, they are swamped with refugees from both countries(escaping the war or the draft), pushing hospitality to its limits, prices have more than quadrupled, and there are a lot of tensions thanks to some pro-Russian political powers (no doubt backed by Putin).
So for now I’ll stay put in Asia, but still didn’t give up on it entirely…
Drinking is not the most important things in the world.
In the US for sure, teenagers start to idolize alcohol and eventually it becomes the pinnacle of cool for some. “Parties” end up revolving around just the alcohol and getting completely wasted. Trust me, you are not a cool, as charming, etc, as you think you are when drunk. And there’s are, absolutely people who will show up to these parties expecting to exploit drunk people.
I’m not telling you ‘NEVER DRINK!’… More like, you don’t need to try drinking a lifetimes worth of alcohol everytime there’s alcohol around you. 1 drink can be enough. And don’t hang out with people who push you to drink or don’t accept ‘no’ as an answer and try to peer pressure you into drinking.
Also, be aware that a subset of people experience a stimulant effect from alcohol. These people are at especial risk for developing addiction to alcohol (aka “alcoholism”).
The way you find out whether you’re one of these people is you sit down and pour out three shots of vodka. You don’t drink them yet. You take your pulse, and write it down.
Then you down those shots. Then you wait 5 minutes, sitting there the whole time, not moving. Then you take your pulse again. If your pulse has gone up at least 10 bpm from the first measurement, you’re experiencing a stimulant effect from the alcohol and you are especially at risk for alcoholism.
Invest. Now. Use a service like Acorns if you need to. The more you start saving now, the more you’ll have when you’re old and can’t work anymore.
I’m sorry, this got long.
Get your own place to live, car, van, schoolie, RV, boat. Own it outright, doesn’t matter what it is. Make it safe, make it sane, keep it clean.
I live rent free, off the grid, I don’t have a mortgage, and while not spacious, it’s clean dry safe and mine, not a landlord or a bank in sight.
Purchase a 10 year old 4 cylinder Toyota that’s been taken care of, change the fluids, filters, and belts as recommended and drive it for the rest of your life.
This is the most important: Live a purpose driven life. Don’t wake up and get dressed to go to work Monday morning because you have to. Wake up, get dressed and go work on Monday because doing so furthers YOUR GOALS FOR YOUR LIFE.
What is it that you actually want want? Figure that out and then work backwards from that all the way back to where you are now in life. Break it down into smaller and smaller steps. Then each day, work on just that small set of steps, don’t get overwhelmed by the larger picture. Then every. single. God. Damned. Day. do something towards that goal, even if it’s just a piddling bullshit item, keep moving forward. You’ll have giant days and days you just organize a drawer. Doesn’t matter shit, keep moving, keep driving.
It took me three very very very long years of working like a dog and living like a cockroach, of deep concerted efforts and tracking those efforts on the walls of my condo to go from in-debt renter to owning my own sailboat outright. It took another 2.5 years of the same kind of lifestyle onboard to become Debt Free.
This is a poorly shot and poorly edited short video about how I pulled this off.
Don’t be afraid to try odd jobs or go for opportunities that you normally wouldn’t. New opportunities and interests can open up from getting out of your comfort zone.
“Only break one law at a time.” None of us are perfect; That will help keep you out of life-changing trouble.
This is the most pragmatic advice I’ve read that I think might actually be heeded by a young adult.
-
Invest at least 10% of your income into the S&P or Large Growth fund – Roth IRA or 401k if you’re still in a low tax bracket (12% here in the states). Raise the contribution percentage as you raise your income.
-
A gambler on a good day will just about break even. The quickest way to do that is simply not to play. Remember when the game is rigged against you, you don’t have to play. The house always wins.
-
