How about you give me some tips first, and I’ll consider it?

https://se-radio.net/2016/11/se-radio-episode-275-josh-doody-on-salary-negotiation-for-software-engineers/ (not specific to software engineers)

Perhaps, what are you offering in return?

perhaps, but what’s in it for me?

This gal has a channel devoted to things like this, particularly in regards to career-related settings. Lots of good advice here:

https://youtube.com/@advicewitherin

Everyone’s a comedian so here’s some actual advice.

TLDR: be polite but firm, know what you’re asking for.

Lots of activism and lobbyist groups have the concept of an “ask”, or what you’re attempting to get out of the negotiation. Have a solid, easily understandable ask that is generous enough to withstand a bit of pushback from the other party, who will almost certainly try to negotiate the other direction. Also, when you deliver a statement, question, or ultimatum, wait for the other person to respond to it, even if there’s a couple seconds of silence in between. Conventional wisdom says the one who speaks first in these moments is displaying insecurity and is less sure of their ask or position in the negotiation.

Silence is a weapon. People don’t like awkward pauses and will talk to fill in the gap and sometimes they end up putting their foot in their mouth.

A gun helps. Walk slowly and carry big gun

Tinkering with technology is my hobby, so I spend a lot of time on secondary markets (like Facebook Marketplace, OfferUp, Craigslist, eBay, etc.) I always research the original price of any item I’m interested in, any current discounts being offered by retailers (like Amazon, etc.), and what the average pre-owned price appears to be across platforms. Then I offer some amount less, and expect a counter. I equate negotiating with fishing. I know that, with patience, I will eventually find a motivated seller. So I try to never enter any specific negotiation needing to make a deal. Obviously the rarity of an item and your desire to obtain it are big factors that will influence the price which you are willing to pay, but knowing the item’s value and being unafraid to make a reasonable-but-low first offer has proven successful for me. Also be courteous. I have had better success providing context and asking questions about the item then merely opening with a low effort bid, and have even had several sellers return to the negotiation hours, days, or weeks later because I invite them to if we are unable to reach an initial agreement.

Monty Python - Life of Brian, Haggle scene

I work in procurement. That means I negotiate with suppliers all day, every day. I’m the one the team calls when they need something fixed, and want something better than using a big hammer or lighting everything on fire.

The absolute best tip was courtesy of my first boss in the field:

"Always be prepared to walk away and say ‘No, thank you’. "

You won’t look weak (except to the wrong people). Instead you’ll come across as empowered, that you know what you want, have no tolerance for games, but also can be trusted. Very few people like people who always say yes, no matter what anxiety says. In order to be here, it’s important to have options and choices you can accept. Be ready to jump rails if it looks like you won’t get your first choice. That’s how good negotiators in my field do it - they have several acceptable options.

It’s still not easy to do. It requires perseverance and flexibility. Allow yourself to practice in lower-risk situations.

You tell me your best recipe and I’ll tell you a negotiation tip.

There are two rules you need to know in negotiations. First, never lay all your cards on the table.

What’s it worth to me?

This is an article I always reference for job offer negotiations, but the principles would apply to negotiation in general. The most important concept to understand is: you can split a pot between two parties in ways that result in both of you getting more of what you want.