If I’ve surrounded myself with hyper competitive people like how do I let them know I don’t want to compete and I just want to be cool with them?
If it’s just a perception thing how do I ease up on myself? Like does having an easy going personality instigate pissing contests? Should I be more uptight?
First, I’m sorry. My Lemmy client shows you have 5 replies, but I can’t see what they say. I may be repeating others’ comments.
You may not be able to. Competitive people are competitive. Unless you are willing to concede their superiority in all things, or to refuse to compete, they will compete. It’s just some people’s nature.
Most people I’ve met are competitive only in areas: where they’re capable of competing. My brother-in-law is the most competitive person I know, but he’d never accept a programming challenge from me and would surrender, because he simply has zero knowledge in the space. But he’d race me downhill skiing, even though he knows I’m a better (or, maybe, just less conservative) skiier. So I avoid competing with him most of the time by refusing to participate. I just say “no, not interested.”
It might work for you. If they’re the types that treat that as weakness and start using you as a punching bag, then I suggest you’re better off finding new friends, 'cause those kinds of people are just worthless assholes. But if they’re just run-of-the-mill competitive, because life’s funner for them when everything is a game, then just saying you don’t want to play might be OK.
If they laugh at your failures, they don’t deserve your unending love. While you may consider them your friend, they don’t consider you their friend. Friends don’t do that shit. Do you really want to love someone dearly that doesn’t even consider you their friend?
Without more info and without knowing you:
It’s either a perception issue. You feel like they are competing with you and yet they really aren’t.
Or
You’ve surrounded yourself with people that are highly competitive. So they make everything a competition.
If I’ve surrounded myself with hyper competitive people like how do I let them know I don’t want to compete and I just want to be cool with them?
If it’s just a perception thing how do I ease up on myself? Like does having an easy going personality instigate pissing contests? Should I be more uptight?
First, I’m sorry. My Lemmy client shows you have 5 replies, but I can’t see what they say. I may be repeating others’ comments.
You may not be able to. Competitive people are competitive. Unless you are willing to concede their superiority in all things, or to refuse to compete, they will compete. It’s just some people’s nature.
Most people I’ve met are competitive only in areas: where they’re capable of competing. My brother-in-law is the most competitive person I know, but he’d never accept a programming challenge from me and would surrender, because he simply has zero knowledge in the space. But he’d race me downhill skiing, even though he knows I’m a better (or, maybe, just less conservative) skiier. So I avoid competing with him most of the time by refusing to participate. I just say “no, not interested.”
It might work for you. If they’re the types that treat that as weakness and start using you as a punching bag, then I suggest you’re better off finding new friends, 'cause those kinds of people are just worthless assholes. But if they’re just run-of-the-mill competitive, because life’s funner for them when everything is a game, then just saying you don’t want to play might be OK.
This isn’t a “wow thanks im cured” comment, this is something that takes years to work on - just care less. Let it just roll off your back.
Or stop being friends with shit people
I was asking in earnest.
Say I was going to care less. Am I just suppose to tough it out. Tough it out when people take pleasure in my failings?
I was earnestly answering. I didnt want to just say “care less about what your friends say” because thats like saying “just stop being depressed”.
But your “friend” really doesn’t sound like someone I would want to be around, personally
I love them dearly and I would honestly give them every ounce of my success. It wouldn’t help though…
but would they do the same in return?
If they laugh at your failures, they don’t deserve your unending love. While you may consider them your friend, they don’t consider you their friend. Friends don’t do that shit. Do you really want to love someone dearly that doesn’t even consider you their friend?