*I will delete this post if things turn into personal attacks.
Could be many reasons, super depending on the dynamics of your friend group but in mine I find when things are looking up for my others can be feeling of jealousy can seem like they are being competitive. If you have examples (as anonymous as possible) just to gauge from?
I recently got a new job and my friend knows how much I make. Ever since they have been complaining how they hate their job and how they are under paying them. They constantly tell me how much of a slob I am and that I don’t do enough. Then they talk about how they need a new job and how they told their employeer they need to pay them more. It’s consuming my life.
“Friend”
I swear to god
You may consider them a friend, but the behaviour you’re describing shows they aren’t treating you like one.
Friends should build you up, not tear you down.
Everyone in my life is competing with me more. 🫶
Social media? Are they constantly flexing for clout? I have had some friends and coworkers like that. Every interaction with them feels like reading a nonstop humblebrag on Facebook. It’s tedious AF. I avoid them whenever possible.
I avoid Facebook type social media like the plague. If anything I might isolate myself too much and everyone thinks I am purposefully thumbing my nose at them.
I think, hopefully, that style of social media is on the decline. It’s not the FOMO must-have powerhouse it used to be. Younger folks seem informed enough to avoid it, or at most have a generic-bland “stub” account.
Without more info and without knowing you:
It’s either a perception issue. You feel like they are competing with you and yet they really aren’t.
Or
You’ve surrounded yourself with people that are highly competitive. So they make everything a competition.
If I’ve surrounded myself with hyper competitive people like how do I let them know I don’t want to compete and I just want to be cool with them?
If it’s just a perception thing how do I ease up on myself? Like does having an easy going personality instigate pissing contests? Should I be more uptight?
This isn’t a “wow thanks im cured” comment, this is something that takes years to work on - just care less. Let it just roll off your back.
Or stop being friends with shit people
I was asking in earnest.
Say I was going to care less. Am I just suppose to tough it out. Tough it out when people take pleasure in my failings?
I was earnestly answering. I didnt want to just say “care less about what your friends say” because thats like saying “just stop being depressed”.
But your “friend” really doesn’t sound like someone I would want to be around, personally
I love them dearly and I would honestly give them every ounce of my success. It wouldn’t help though…
If they laugh at your failures, they don’t deserve your unending love. While you may consider them your friend, they don’t consider you their friend. Friends don’t do that shit. Do you really want to love someone dearly that doesn’t even consider you their friend?
but would they do the same in return?
First, I’m sorry. My Lemmy client shows you have 5 replies, but I can’t see what they say. I may be repeating others’ comments.
You may not be able to. Competitive people are competitive. Unless you are willing to concede their superiority in all things, or to refuse to compete, they will compete. It’s just some people’s nature.
Most people I’ve met are competitive only in areas: where they’re capable of competing. My brother-in-law is the most competitive person I know, but he’d never accept a programming challenge from me and would surrender, because he simply has zero knowledge in the space. But he’d race me downhill skiing, even though he knows I’m a better (or, maybe, just less conservative) skiier. So I avoid competing with him most of the time by refusing to participate. I just say “no, not interested.”
It might work for you. If they’re the types that treat that as weakness and start using you as a punching bag, then I suggest you’re better off finding new friends, 'cause those kinds of people are just worthless assholes. But if they’re just run-of-the-mill competitive, because life’s funner for them when everything is a game, then just saying you don’t want to play might be OK.
Let them. How does this hurt you? What is your actual challenge here?
It’s just hard, to feel like you don’t deserve any of the success that you’ve worked very hard on.
It’s just hard, to feel like you don’t deserve any of the success that you’ve worked very hard on.
How does this manifest? As in, you’re proud of an achievement, share it with your friend, and they say things that diminish it? Can you describe a scenario where you’ve experience this with your friend?
