I’m meeting my grandfather for lunch on Friday. It’ll be the first time I’ve seen him in several years. He went all the way down the hate hole. Never heard him cuss but last time we talked he was using the N word.
He’ll be 87 soon. Most likely, I’ll never see him again. He’s going to find out we’re moving out of the south to yankee land.
Fuck it. He’s not the man I knew. He doesn’t have the wisdom I thought he did.
I hate it and it fucks me up. I’ve lost my people to hate and stupid. So fucking stupid. They all want to suck some orange cock. Fucking really? That’s your fucking Messiah? They didn’t actually fucking read the fucking book they claimed they believed in while shoving bullshit down my throat and the throats of any child they could get ahold of.
Fuck em. They could wake the fuck up if they choose to. They could read. They could think. I tried to tell them.
I’m real sad about it. Not a fucking thing I can do about it. They can live inside their lie holes.
Blackberry Winter has skipped two years. There are armadillos, geckos, and fire ants now. Those critters didn’t live here until things changed. The fucking woods smell and sound different now. They could wake the fuck up and quit listening to fox or their preacher but they choose not to.
I tried to tell them and they didn’t listen because they choose to be ignorant.
fuck em
We’d drive across the state as a kid and at the end of the day it was a sticky mess that was beginning to impact a driver’s ability to see well. I drove across the country a couple years ago and there were days at a time where we didn’t need to clean the windshield.
I had the same experience. Driving three hours in an Ohio summer in the 90’s meant consistently using the wipers and fluid to get bugs off the windshield. Then in 2013, driving across country, I had to clean my windshield of bugs, a single time. Now? haven’t needed to clean the windshield in years.
I ask my conservative father about these things, he just ignores it. Literally, if it doesn’t fit within his small, hate-filled world-view, then it might as well not exist. If I insist upon a response, he just starts hating me.
It feels as though I’m losing my parents in much the same way dementia would take them. Except it’s not some medical condition, it’s smug assholes in suits profiteering off peddling hate.