I’m meeting my grandfather for lunch on Friday. It’ll be the first time I’ve seen him in several years. He went all the way down the hate hole. Never heard him cuss but last time we talked he was using the N word.
He’ll be 87 soon. Most likely, I’ll never see him again. He’s going to find out we’re moving out of the south to yankee land.
Fuck it. He’s not the man I knew. He doesn’t have the wisdom I thought he did.
I hate it and it fucks me up. I’ve lost my people to hate and stupid. So fucking stupid. They all want to suck some orange cock. Fucking really? That’s your fucking Messiah? They didn’t actually fucking read the fucking book they claimed they believed in while shoving bullshit down my throat and the throats of any child they could get ahold of.
Fuck em. They could wake the fuck up if they choose to. They could read. They could think. I tried to tell them.
I’m real sad about it. Not a fucking thing I can do about it. They can live inside their lie holes.
Blackberry Winter has skipped two years. There are armadillos, geckos, and fire ants now. Those critters didn’t live here until things changed. The fucking woods smell and sound different now. They could wake the fuck up and quit listening to fox or their preacher but they choose not to.
I tried to tell them and they didn’t listen because they choose to be ignorant.
fuck em
My Dad growing up was probably fairly conservative but cool where it mattered - people are who they are, live and let live, that sorta shit. We never really discussed politics or anything.
When I graduated he remarried, sold the trailer I grew up being told would be mine, bought a house he lost within 2-3 years and kicked me out of basically immediately. I ended up in the Army, caught an IED, got seperated. Couldn’t even use the “guest room,” charged me $500/mo (in 2008, kinda insane then but maybe not so bad now lol) to sleep in the open basement and kicked me out again cause I wasnt paying up fast enough.
An ex convinced me to call him years later. First words out of his mouth - “You have that money you owe us?” I never reached out again.
Over covid, he tried to add me on Facebook. I’d blocked him but he made a new one. Hell no, but you’re my dad I’ll let you creep. On a post about the protests going on - “Those protesters wouldn’t be a problem if we just gun em down.” I blocked him and then had to tell me aunt (“you can’t just block family over politics”) that this isnt political, its moral and I don’t want anyone like that in my life. Bright side, I never have to feel bad about it ever again.
Its OK to let people go and cut them out. Blood family, chosen family, friends, they all stay with you even if your paths split apart. Never let old bonds tie you to a toxic situation. My Dad killed it growing up, now he’s a fascist. As you said, the man I knew was gone, and I do NOT owe whoever this new guy is anything. If thats the life they want to live, let them.
I got lucky, my father died when I was 4. My step father was good in spite of his religion.
That shit fucking sucks. I’m sorry for you. Sucks donkey balls.
Those things make us hard. We’re hard and take care of the ones we love. We make sure they don’t ever have to live like that. You sound tough, we’ll keep on going and loving. All we can do.