damn so that’s what my whole deal is huh?
I had the “the fan is a thing??” reaction too. I don’t always need one at home unless I’m overheated, but my fan on my desk at work has been on for months. Every day that fan is not only on, but pointed right at me.
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So peaceful. I need at least three screaming voices to avoid the Internal Carnival Music 🎪
HEADPHONE WARNING
Pretty sick song
Before i was got on meds, i constantly had music playing in my head along with all the other thoughts that were trying to be heard.
I always say that my brain is a jukebox that never, EVER turns off. There is always music and it never stops.
Okay get this - when I finally got on meds for the nth (and hopefully last) time, the voices in my head immediately changed from an incoherent chorus of self-hatred to “why is this song playing in my head?” and “It’s kind of a bop, though.”
The relief was incredible, if also a little weird.
Lol ive had that kind of experience as well. I got lucky and first med i tried was really effective. I’m now able to just stop thinking for a while. All the voices are quiet and no music plays.
I just got diagnosed last year and ive had ADHD all my life without knowing it so super weird to just have a quiet head. I get what you mean, its such a drastic change, but a good one.
The fan thing really hit me. Ceiling fan, 7 years, only stopped it to dust…when the power goes out
I’m sorry about the fan hitting you, you really have to make sure those things are mounted properly.
Where are the fidget toys, sound of TV in another room, and 6 open beverages scattered about? How is this person staying so focused despite being so dehydrated!?
Drink goblins unite.
I will be watching a three hour video essay, get distracted, read posts on Lemmy, then go back to my video 15 minutes later. I realize I have no idea what was said in the last 15 minutes so I have to back up to the last point I definitely know I wasn’t distracted. It will take me ten hours to watch that video.
It took me four days to get through Ash (2019)
Amazing movie
I stayed up until 4AM each day
This is why I don’t do podcasts in the background, I miss stuff and the whole thing becomes a confusing distraction.
What seems to work for me is something I have seen/heard a bunch of times in the background (Futurama, electronic music) which scratches that mind wandering itch without it dragging me away from what I want to be doing.
I have two types of podcasts: those I listen to when doing work that is pretty mindless so I can focus on the podcast, and those that are entertaining but not important enough that it matters if I miss something while reading directions or thinking through next steps on my project, etc.
Come to think of it, I have one other category, actually, which are podcasts that are interesting but get a big backlog because I’m not that excited about them. I use those to fall asleep.
For me it’s similar, but podcasts for housework and cleaning, music for working, silence for drawing/problem solving.
I’ve probably listened to the entire MCU, in order, fifteen times over the past two years. I can ignore it and happily work or game, while it calms the tiny part of my brain that’s registering it - and then I’ll notice an especially good scene is coming up, so I pause whatever’s currently on top and switch to the video for a scene or two… then back to work/play.
I’ve really gotten into those police interrogation videos on YouTube. The ones that are like 3 hours of raw footage of the interrogation. You can miss large chunks because it’s such a long process and just tune in when they run out of lies and confess.
Although I only go into theboffice twice a week, I have a little fan that has been running almost nonstop for 4+ years that helps with the offixe background noise.
I turned it off once for three minutes before turning it right back on again. During the winter I point it away from me.
My setup: dual screen, on one of them there’s YouTube always on with some booktuber or d&d campaign, private and work chats, on the other screen browser and terminals. The fan that’s sucking my vape fumes next to my desk has been running non stop for a couple of years. I sometimes turn it down to one, but it’s always on. Sometimes the browser/terminal combo gets replaced by Project Zomboid. I’m in this chair 10-18h per day, almost every day. I’m okay. Everything’s okay.
It may seem like chaos, but I don’t know how to explain that it’s relaxing.
Before I had to move my “office” to a smaller room, I had a 4-monitor setup. Usually one for a game, one playing music channels on youtube, one for discord, and one for browsing reddit or something. I want to go back…
This sub makes me think I have ADHD. Constant multitasking (audiobooks with whatever other brainless activity), or else so hyperfixated on a thing that I forget to eat, 4 empty cups of water at my desk, putting off responding to texts and then three days later realizing i never responded at all, forgetting about a problem I need to fix or errand I need to run until something reminds me of it.
Just juggling a bunch of interests because, with a day job, there’s really no way to simply hold on to each one for very long.
Oh and then smoking marijuana.
Are you me? Goddam, I am the very same to the last detail, I was even also wondering the same before reading the comment.
Oh and I am high
This describes me well. My manager actually has to manage me but in a good way.
oh I can’t do two movies at once. one of each thing. I have limits :)
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Oh my, no. This is like a list of the worst things for me.
I can’t concentrate on something if they’re are voices in the background, my brain forces me to focus on the voices, I can’t tune them out to focus on my main task.
So when I’m working, music helps me focus a little, but it MUST not have vocals. No-Vocals Vaporwave/Synthwave is my jam.
I could never watch two films at the same time, or have a podcast on while I’m trying to watch a film, etc, I hate distractions and background noises while I’m trying to focus on a film.
If I tried to watch two films at once… my brain would just be overwhelmed and I’d be able to watch neither.
I also hate noise in general and cherish blissful silence, so while I do run a fan when it gets very hot, I do my best to avoid it.
Quiet silence is best, the more things like noise assault my senses the more I feel oppressed in my own brain.
This. I got the “physically unable to multitask” ADHD instead of the “needs multiple sources of stimulation” ADHD.
I need exactly the right amount of stimulation or nothing is getting done. It is extremely variable.
I find loud, fast/rhythmic music works best for me. Anything with a d-beat is generally solid, so metal (osdm, trad/speed, thrash, black) and punk (hardcore, crust) make up a chunk of my focus music, definitely not in the multiple sources category either, more of the “drown out everything else so I can only think of one thing” sort.
Same but I work from home with two elementary school aged kids during summer break, so I just suffer.
That might be autism. Or you have both.
Haha yes it’s a strong possibility that I have both, going off what I’ve learned these past few years of research and community involvement!
It’s going to be a looong time before I can get checked for autism though as I’m poor, so for now I just have to wait and wonder :-)
Take the raads-r test. It’s so close to a psychiatrist evaluation that it has a high confidence even for a self test. https://embrace-autism.com/raads-r/
Just knowing you are autistic and learning about it can improve your life
This is me when I’m medicated - no distracting lights or sounds, just ambient music, something to fidgit with, and my task.
Unmedicated, and I’m like the meme, trying to shove as many things into my head as possible.
Oh my gosh, same. If I’m trying to concentrate or focus on something there can be no words in music or better yet no music. The only exception to that is a task that is just movement and a playlist with songs I know all the words to. Then I’ll sing while I work. I like classical for the no words, even opera is ok because I don’t know what they are saying. I used to set my alarm in the morning to the French CBC. I don’t speak French so it was just melodic sounds instead of sounding like someone is yelling at me first thing.
I also don’t like watching movies/tv/youtube. I always feel like there’s something else I should be doing. I will watch a movie, but it takes a bit for me to settle and get my brain to realize that that’s what I’m doing. It feels so sedentary. Though I can game for hours haha. I’m doing something! There’s the added bonus that tv is like coffee for me, makes my brain WIRED, then I can’t sleep. Books for the win!
My hearing is quite bad now so that also adds to the feeling of a dull roar of confusion. Yay getting old.
*Edit to say hook me up with the synthwave playlists! Love that sound.
Yeah, I find that the music helps me when I’m doing boring work, but as soon as the work requires any real significant focus, like, more than 70% brainpower, I pause the music for a bit so I can really focus.
Here’s the one I put on most often! :-)
Oh wow!! Thank you so much!!
I often spend my time on Lemmy/Reddit feeling and acting bitter and dumb, I’m so angry at myself for this illness and how I’ve ruined my own life because of it, and I’m angry at the world for all the cruel people and systems causing us to suffer, holding us down, dooming us,
and I do want to be better, kinder, I just don’t have any hope and nowhere to put all this anger and hopelessness and misery, and I can’t afford ADHD treatment so…yeah. I’m not proud of my little vice/outlet, I suppose.
Anyway my point is, you’ve been lovely to talk to, thank you for reminding me that some people are genuinely lovely. I most certainly don’t deserve it, haha.
Anyway, from here in Manchester England, have a grand day 👋
And woman. My mother and sisters all do that, without any syndrom.
Where was this gendered?
Wonder if they know it’s taken a long time for the medical world to acknowledge that women can also have adhd, therefore most have gone undiagnosed.
When the power goes out and that fan stops, it’s the quietest thing you’ve ever imagined. It shouldn’t even be possible. I hate it.
My mother used to simply turn my fan off to wake me up. I have slept through actually gunshots in the same room as me but my fan turning off was too much
Wh… who is shooting in your bedroom?
Lol my father used to take me hunting as a kid but hunting started before the sun came up and I was sleepy so I slept in the stand. Didn’t even flinch he said
eeeeeeee