• TootSweet@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    3 months ago
    NSFW

    There once was a man from Nantucket.

    Whose cock was so long he could suck it.

    He said with a grin

    While wiping his chin

    “If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it.”

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    0·
    3 months ago

    People have pulled muscles and dislocated joints trying that.

    To quote an unnamed friend of mine: “I love those dreams where you can suck your own dick, and it’s so easy.”

    Also quoting the same friend: “no, dude, every guy has that dream, all the time.”

    Also quoting that friend: “bullshit man, I can’t be the only one having that dream every night.”

    Quoting me, an hour later: “homie, for the last time, I do not want to hear any more stories about your self-suck dreams.”

    • archonet@lemy.lolEnglish
      0·
      3 months ago

      I have achieved that, when I was younger and skinnier, and it’s not even all that great. For one, yeah, kills your back. Two, it’s more like sucking dick than getting your dick sucked, so let’s hope you’re good at that – and if you are, you’re going to end up with a mouth full of cum.

      Now, I’m gay, so these last two points didn’t bother me any, but I was so sore from the experience I did it like twice and then never bothered again. I imagine a straight guy would be even less impressed.

      • southsamurai@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        0·
        3 months ago

        Yeah, I mean, I’ve been told I have a nice dick, and I’m fond of the damn thing, but if I wanted to suck a dick, no way in hell am I going to break my neck trying to get at my own. Luckily, being hetero means never having to suck dick unless you lose a bet.

      • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.netEnglish
        0·
        3 months ago

        I’ve always been too fat to do it, but I’ve always wished I could. I quite enjoy being on both sides of it. I’ve heard people say it’s not great, but you’re the first gay guy I’ve heard say it isn’t great. Thank you for making me feel better about not being able to. Lol

      • MyOtherInstanceIsDown@lemmy.caEnglish
        0·
        3 months ago

        Well. I have achieved this feat as well. Now I am a straight man, and I agree that it is more like sucking a dick than getting your dick sucked. Taste didn’t bother me, so whatever about the cum. I’m sure some people will claim I’m not straight because of this. I would point out if that makes me gay than when you jack your hard throbbing cock to cum then wouldn’t that make you gay? Sexuality is a spectrum, get over it. My back did end up sore, so I only did it a few times.