Imagine all the time this guy saves by typing like he’s doing it with his fucking face
But what is he hiding?
He’s an amateur, he typed out “ate” instead of using “8”!
It’s sorta greentext-like
b4
That’s a bingo!
WHAT WAS HE HIDING
That he wanted six extra meatballs?
Maybe it’s a trick question.
Like maybe he was hiding a corpse in the trunk of his car, which he murdered by slitting their throat with Occam’s razor.
Gout, probably
She’s gonna complain about the bill.
That’s why he says “I think I’ll try the meatballs.” You just solved the mystery. Now he has plausible deniability. I hope they have security cameras.
But it’ll probably show 3 orders of meatballs, and she saw him get 3 meatballs. He just has to keep her from looking too closely
Probably he’s on a diet and his wife won’t let him eat more than 1 order of meatballs.
☕
She isn’t going to order her own meatballs and is going to pick off his plate. He wanted to make sure he got to eat his fill without sharing.
Joey doesn’t share food!
What happened to communicating with your partner
This is non verbal communication.
You’re not married, are you? Eating something off your plate is communication.
6 yr relationship, never planned to marry, in case it matters. The lack of communication I was talking about was him eating ahead of time in secret rather than telling his wife that sharing would mean that they’d need more food in order for him to have enough.
I mean the guy could have legitimately told her about the meatballs, yet thought it was funny to say he would “try” them knowing the waiter knew full well they already had them twice.
Queue them laughing on the way home and her finding it to be a cute quirk that he likes to confuse waiters with such.
He knows his wife likes the meatballs, but isn’t going to order her own, so he eats two, claims he’s stuffed, and let’s her have the last one.
He actually is stuffed, because the ones she saw him eat were actually numbers 7 & 8 and she’s happy because she gets a meatball without ordering extra food.
So wholesome!
I’ve literally done exactly this
Found the meatballs guy
Well, with my fiancée it’s diet coke
Yeah, don’t want to be loading up on soda calories when there’s meatballs to be eaten!
That’s a good theory.
His heart disease
“ Wait… I worry what you heard was, ‘Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.’ What I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?”
Ahh Ron Swanson, the only conservative the world ever needs.
Aaand here goes a five page discussion about whether if Ron is conservative or not
He’s the wet dream ideal of conservative libertarianism, so yeah.
[In my best nature documentarisn voice] Behold, what appears to be moving goalposts to the outside observer is actually a side-effect of the first-past-the-post system’s tendency towards two dominant parties.
I don’t know why i’m a fat diabetic
Big bones and bad genes, clearly
I know someone who’s husband would go to taco bell in secret and she would see the charge alerts on her phone.
Why his his bank account logged into her phone? Are joint bank accounts really a thing, or are the wife and I the weird ones for keeping our finances separate?
We have joint and personal accounts.
Joint account for bills, if anything were to happen to me I would like her to be able to pay bills, or even see they exist to cancel them.
Joint account for salary deposit and a joint savings on it for covering our 3 months of bills.
Personal account for discretionary spending, each month we put some pocket money in each of our personal account to blow on beer/taco bell/whatever.
my wife and I are joint, just easier that way. what surprises me more is that someone would set up alerts for the low expense levels that would be triggered by Taco bell.
I don’t really understand why folks would do separate it just seems like more trouble for no benefit unless there has been a specific reason or issues to trigger that.
(for example my dad and stepmom had separate accounts after she spent so much one Christmas that I had to pay their rent)
Low expense at Taco Bell? Ha! You must not have been there since the 90s!
what surprises me more is that someone would set up alerts for the low expense levels that would be triggered by Taco bell
I’ve had banking apps that sent you a notification when something was charged from the account. Helps keep track of the money since there’s some automatic charges.
My wife doesn’t work so it’s all joint
My wife and I keep our finances separate too.
Except we both send money to an account that’s in my name offsetting the mortgage on the house that’s in my name too. My wife wants access to this account because she’s worried if I die the bank will make it hard to get at the cash since it’s offset and joint savings all in one.
Not to mention we don’t have wills and she’s been pushing for that for a few years.
The more I think about it, she might be planning on killing me haha
Or, ya know, she just doesn’t wanna be homeless.
Nah she has a house too she would get the house being married and all
Your wife is basically paying you rent, she should be worried about something happening to you. You’re married, just put her on the title of the house.
I’m not on the title of her house either though
Just being pragmatic, nothing to say you won’t die 5 minutes from now, which makes putting it off irresponsible at best.
Are joint bank accounts really a thing
They’re a thing
You’re not the weird ones. I used to have joint accounts with my then-wife, but I’ll never do that again. Mainly because I will never marry again (ridiculous concept if you ask me - the government charging you money so that they can approve your relationship is bananas to me, and then paying them more to dissolve it if it doesn’t work out), but also because I haven’t met many people out there who manage their own money well, so why would I ever put them in a position of control over the money I earn?
All our accounts are totally joint and wife and I carry basically the same credit cards. No reason to be separate IMO. Only need one check book that way and I can pay all the bills for all the cards in one place.
No reason.
What if one one of you wants to make an expensive purchase? The wife and I avoid a lot of arguments when we can’t tell each other how to spend our own money. If I want to build a new PC? No problem! She wants to spend $500 on skincare products? Go for it.
Expensive is pretty subjective. Anything less than about $200 no discussion required. Above that, we usually have a courtesy conversation. We’ve never had a hard no spending if one of us really wants or needs something, but a required justification or notice prevents impulse buys.
Joint also doesn’t mean you can’t have an account (or a bucket or a tally) where you save for something you want, it just means it’s not a secret.
Well if you have kids and/or need to budget as a household you kind of need to work together a bit to maintain that budget.
For my spouse and I there is no “my money” and “their money”. It is all our money.
If one of us wants to make a big purchase we have a conversation about it something like, “I’ve had my eye on a new graphics card. What do you think?” Then it goes either, “That’s great. Have fun.” Or, “Don’t forget we have little Jimmy’s orthodontist bill coming up.” “Oh, yeah, thanks for reminding me. Maybe later, then.”
I realize this isn’t the norm and it took us a long time to get there. Many couples, my spouse’s parents among them, argue over money and use it as part of a power play. We still have separate accounts for budgeting purposes, and around the holidays we have to be honest not to peek at bank statements and spoil surprises. But not having to worry whether you spouse is messing up your eventual retirement or little Jimmy’s college fund sure makes life a whole lot easier for me.
We just discuss these things and come to some sort of agreement.
Some couples see the money they earn as part of the whole, there is no my money and their money. It can make sense for some for sure, in my relationship its easier to just have our money, and it doesnt really matter where it comes from.
We also expect large purchases to be discussed first, outside of like presents and surprises of course.
Are joint bank accounts really a thing
Are you joking? Of course they are a thing lol
Removed by mod
Ball is life
I’ve seen parasite check his bag
Holy shit this thread
Meme : weird event happens at restaurant, only context is that man was hiding his actions for whatever reason"
ITT: FUCKING WIVES AMIRITE
He’s cheating on his diet, as others mentioned. I feel like you should be able to just talk to your wife about going off diet once in a while…
Some people suck though. Dude would probably catch hell from his wife Karen.
Maybe he was unhealthy obese
Eh someone who gives their SO hell for not sticking to their diet is not necessarily “Karen”, it’s unnecessary to frame it this way
