• andrewta@lemmy.world
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    4 hours ago

    Great now make it so if you cheat you lose the ability to get alimony.

    And an open relationship is different then cheating.

  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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    12 hours ago

    You used to have to prove adultery in order to get a divorce in New York state.

    Family story time! My great-grandparents wanted to get divorced and were in New York, so my grandfather lay in a bed next to his mother-in-law under the covers and my grandmother took a photo to present to the courts. My great-grandmother apparently never even took off her coat.

  • 21Cabbage@lemmynsfw.com
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    7 hours ago

    I mean, fair, but doesn’t really seem like something worth the effort one direction or the other, doubt that law was being enforced much.

    • LesserAbe@lemmy.world
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      7 hours ago

      We should reduce as much as possible laws that make something illegal but aren’t enforced. It creates uncertainty about your position and allows authorities to threaten citizens for unrelated reasons.

      • 21Cabbage@lemmynsfw.com
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        7 hours ago

        That’s true but I imagine doing so would quickly become tedious and that initiative would inevitably be used for nefarious purposes.

        • LesserAbe@lemmy.world
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          6 hours ago

          What would become tedious, eliminating crimes from the books? I’m not saying we need to go on some campaign, just here’s a law that isn’t being used, isn’t just, and they’re getting rid of it. That’s good.

          • 21Cabbage@lemmynsfw.com
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            5 hours ago

            IIRC correctly the process for striking a law is more or less the same as making a new one, so for every single little antiquated thing and protest bill somebody got passed you’d have to do the same thing with all the associated foot stomping and bitching from anyone and everyone motivated to either stop you or do something else.

        • njm1314@lemmy.world
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          2 hours ago

          Remember that’s why a whole slew of anti-abortion laws were able to put back into place recently because they were just left on the books. Same for a lot of other laws involving interracial marriage, gay marriage, gay relationships in general, freedom of religion, Etc… these laws are usually left on the books because people hope they can be used again one day. Getting rid of them protects us all. I don’t care if it’s tedious.

  • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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    12 hours ago

    Woot to all the people that were horny but it was the legal system stopping them from cheating on their spouse.

  • DudeImMacGyver@sh.itjust.works
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    12 hours ago

    It kinda should be IMO. If you can’t not be faithful, don’t fucking get married and be a cheating piece of shit.

    • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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      8 hours ago

      You won’t get a lot of argument that cheating is a shitty thing to do but the government doesn’t need to be involved in peoples relationships.

        • Cheradenine@sh.itjust.works
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          10 hours ago

          It would have been criminal under the law. I cheated, she cheated. It was the law, whatever agreement she and I had was immaterial.

          • MagicShel@lemmy.zip
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            9 hours ago

            That’s just how the system is. My wife and I are into bdsm. Legally speaking I’m guilty of spousal abuse because she legally can’t consent.

            So we just ignore the law. But if we ever divorced acrimoniously she could rake me over the fucking coals.

              • jerkface@lemmy.ca
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                4 hours ago

                It must be a weird edge case. You can certainly consent to being beaten, humiliated, degraded, etc.

                One thing you cannot consent to where I live is to be touched sexually while you are asleep. The moment you become unconscious (as though that were a thing with a clear, bright line definition) any sexual consent you have given is deemed to have been revoked. This seems rather paternalistic to me since you can consent to have your leg chopped off while you sleep, but whatever. There have been cases where police and crown prosecutors went after charges because someone talked about letting their husband have sex with them while they slept; ie they had moral consent but not legal consent, and so were charged with sex crimes over the protest of their willing partner.

              • MagicShel@lemmy.zip
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                7 hours ago

                A woman can’t consent to being hit in my state. Or at least that was the common consensus when we were social about it.

                I just looked it up and some random website says it’s fine with consent so either the entire community was misinformed, something has changed, or that website was full of shit.

        • jerkface@lemmy.ca
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          7 hours ago

          You don’t have to be married to cheat. You are right, they are totally different things. Marriage is a legal status that has nothing to do with sex. Asexual people can get married. Two straight men can get married. People in open relationships can get married.

          You want it to be illegal to cheat. That’s bonkers. How would that even work? Do you really want the state investigating your intimate relationships to make sure they are legal??

          Why should only sexual intercourse get that kind of protection? If my partner and I swear that we will share our feelings with each other, and I find out that they have feelings they’ve been keeping from me but sharing with someone else, that is cheating. But as long as there isn’t a dick and a vagina involved, it’s okay? Like where do you draw your lines, and why do you want those lines enforced by men with guns?

    • jerkface@lemmy.ca
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      10 hours ago

      Every couple that wants the legal rights grants by marriage must be monogamous whether they want to or not, because it gives you feelings that you are unwilling to process when confronted by committed but nonmonogamous relationships?

    • breadsmasher@lemmy.world
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      12 hours ago

      yeah great idea. criminalise everything. had your freedom to the state. the american dream

      • DudeImMacGyver@sh.itjust.works
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        9 hours ago

        If you’re worried about the American dream I have shit loads of horrible news for you since you haven’t been paying attention for the last 40 fucking years apparently.

        Being able to be a cheating shitbag with no consequences should be the least of your concerns at this point.

        • Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works
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          10 hours ago

          I don’t think anyone is saying that it’s ok and there should be no consequences, just that it’s not a matter for the law. The law isn’t really about what’s moral and immoral. There are plenty of immoral things that are legal and moral things that are illegal. I think it’s wrong to cut in line but I don’t think we should be locking people up for it. I also think in many cases stealing is morally justifiable but I don’t necessarily think we should make stealing legal.

          • Alexstarfire@lemmy.world
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            8 hours ago

            I think it’s wrong to cut in line but I don’t think we should be locking people up for it.

            IDK, you might be onto something here.

            • njm1314@lemmy.world
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              6 hours ago

              This is why we need to bring back stockades. Perfect punishment for that kind of shit. Just lock someone up in public let people deride them and throw vegetables at them all day and then let them go.

            • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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              10 hours ago

              Ahhh

              Now it makes sense.

              If someone cheated on you. Go live your best life. Because there’s something else that commonly happens to guys if they don’t, and it seems to be what’s happening here

    • ThirdWorldOrder@lemm.ee
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      11 hours ago

      I’ve been cheated on and divorced. My ex was seeing a divorce lawyer lol. That was some fun times with depositions and constant harassment since they had 24/7 legal access.

      Even with all that said, I don’t think cheating should ever be criminalized. Just gotta be careful who you marry or date. I still have never learned my lesson lol.

    • catloaf@lemm.ee
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      11 hours ago

      If a married couple want to fuck around with other people, why should that be a crime?

        • jerkface@lemmy.ca
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          10 hours ago

          It does have consequences. You mean you want cheaters to be punished. That’s a different thing.

        • EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          8 hours ago

          The law makes no distinction between the two. Open marriage? More like 5 years in a federal penitentiary waiting to happen because a cop coveted your wife. It’s your word against their’s unless you want the state to issue permits for sex or something.

          What you’re looking for is civil court, which is entirely different from criminal court and works differently as well. And that already exists for cheating on your spouse.