Main ones I can think of:
- Be attractive. If unattractive, at least be disabled in some way.
- Dress as skimpily as possible. Show legs at all time if female.
- Forget dancing, just throw your partner around. Get your face to her crotch at any opportune moment.
- Make really inappropriate comments to each other during the talking phase. Really sell the idea you’re having an affair on live camera.
- Choose the shittiest pop songs you can find. Make sure it’s not the original, but some shitty mock-soul cover.
- If a presenter, give off the impression of fighting a sickly illness. Anorexia is desired if possible.
Any other rules I’m missing?
When the expert judge speaks, the one who is actually going to give constructive criticism to help you get better at dancing, everyone needs to yell “BOO FUCK OFF” at him like he’s a pantomime Gargamel. Only non-critical criticisms are allowed.
The other judges are genuinely useless
Not entirely: they provide the lowest common denominator with cheap entertainment. But, you know, the same can be said for the whole show.